[Yismymindblank12]

yesterday was too much, it was all rough and ****ed up. The fact I had to put my dog down today, and how hard that's been and I did get a gf mind you for only 5 days. She was nice, but dumped me because she isn't ready for a relationship.

I don't want to be alive, everyone abandons me. I look at myself and want to destroy what I see, because I hate me, I hate my body my feelings everything about me. Every person whose came in my life has destroyed it who say they mean well.

Every single female. I'm a problem to you yeah maybe I should kill myself, because I'm a useless thirsty guy. My body defines my whole demeanor and life and I'm scum because of it when I didn't do anything.

The fact I can't cry having my dog comfort me is killing me right now.

My therapist is **** and ignores me and I got nobody. I'm grieving so badly and I got no one.

[Artchic528]

Are you safe? Please call one of the hotline numbers in the link at the bottom of these forums if you're really truly that upset that you'd consider not wanting to live.

Please take care of yourself.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Are you safe? Please call one of the hotline numbers in the link at the bottom of these forums if you're really truly that upset that you'd consider not wanting to live.

Please take care of yourself.

Yes, I'm projecting what I feel and perceive is projected onto me.

I'm not feeling very comfortable and seeing my dog that sick killed me.

He's been with me as my dog since I was 9 years old so it was a huge deal to me. I lost the closest companion when I was alone scared and upset.

It's just like I am always the one who is abandoned by everyone. I don't want to rely on others, I just need a friend someone here anyone here. I really don't need anything else except the company of another who won't be harsh and judge every action I do just listen and comfort me.

Like people who get what I want so easily and destroy it make me so mad. I get so mad, because what's messed up those people people who I thought were nice never are to me or they are manipulative or they want something and won't tell me and drop me before I get a chance to speak. Treated like I'm a tool, for someone else's needs. I didn't feel like a person.

The fact this expectation of a perfect person is to someone of somewhat basic things, but very difficult to many. It's like I'm out of the border of not being able to obtain what most people easily can get and I lose a lot more than I gain from others so I just feel angry every day insecure and I exercise a lot and try to restrict my diet a lot to feel in control of my emotions.