scared to date due to intimacy

I am 43 and been divorced for 5 years already and I have been on dates but when I sense intimacy or sex is wanted, I back away and leave the relationship in the fear of having sex.

Yes I am a guy who is scared of having sex and it's embarrassing but are there others who are scared to have sex again.

After the trauma of a divorce, especially if the marriage problem had to do with sex, it is very understandable that you feel this way.

Wow, all I can say is that really sucks, Brent. Are you seeing a therapist? I think a therapist will be able to help you through these intimacy issues.

My only other recommendation would be viagra, lol...but I don't think that will help with the psychological part.

I too have gone through a divorce. It is degrading and leaves you questioning your ever wanting to be with someone again. Counseling is a definite and i recommend it. It usually takes two years after a divorce to get to know who you are as a single person again. Then you develope new likes and change for the better. It is a risk to go out with someone else for the fear of failure is strong. To go right out after a divorce and before you are ready is on the rebound and spells disaster with a capitol D. I say, take your time after talking to a therapist. It should be mutual attraction, friendship, trust, love, then sex. tc

i have intimacy issues... but its from other things

Me to elevatedsoul. Brent I totally understand, and it sounds like you are not alone with this issue. Do you have a T? That helps. I am doing something quite interesting with my seperation. It is called "Divorce Care." It is a christian support group that meets for 12 weeks. It is a study on the effects of divorce. Financial, kids, sexual, loneliness, loss of friends and family, the list goes on. It's for newly divorced, long time divorced, those thinking about divorce, etc. Google "Divorce Care" and put in your area.

I hope you find your time here at Psych Central helpful, and you make many new friends. I don't know how I ever got along with out this site.