[brandon9]

I am not sure if this is the right forum to put this in but I really want feedback on my message in this... I was told I was homophobic because I do not support the "Day of Silence" event that is upcoming in several weeks, and it pissed me off so much that I decided to write an article anonymously to submit to my local newspaper and school officials. I don't bash here, am not homophobic at all, I just want feedback on my article and on this very troubling event / labeling of my beliefs. Thanks to all who may read this, I realize it is a bit long!



DISCLAIMER: Before I even begin this article, I would like to immediately make clear that I am in NO WAY a homophobic individual. I am not trying to bash anybody in any way in writing this. I am merely going to express my opinion and stance following an event that happened to me, in which I was accused of being a homophobic/anti-homosexual individual simply because I stated my view on the “National Day of Silence” event to a gay student attempting to get me to participate in it. My views are my own, I speak for nobody else in this, and I have a right to express those views, just as the reader has the right to disagree with them. When reading this, please approach it with as much of an open mentality as possible.

I was in school the other day and the upcoming “Day of Silence” came up as a topic of conversation in my second period class – a student in the class was passing out sign-up forms of some sort for it. I was not particularly happy with this but I just kept my head down and did my work, talked to the person next to me, just went about my business. When this student came to me, he attempted to hand me a sign-up form and I told him “No thanks, I’ll pass man.” Nothing hateful, not a barbed remark, simply a polite refusal. Instead of accepting this refusal and moving on, the student proceeded to question me as to why I didn’t want a form. I told him, “I don’t want to participate in that event.” I knew where the whole conversation was about to go and I tried to avoid it – I had no desire to speak about it, I wanted the guy to move on and let me do my thing. He then proceeded to ream me for not being supportive of the “LGBT community” (I will refer to this “community” as homosexual individuals throughout this article, for reference). This student actually said to me, word for word, “Homophobes like you are the reason the LGBT community has been brought down in modern society, why we have no rights. If you people would just accept us for who we are, this world would be a much happier place.” This sparked an intense argument between this student and myself, and ultimately resulted in MY being told to stop harassing the guy, when HE started the entire argument by refusing to accept my refusal and calling me out as being homophobic. According to my moral compass, that is just flat out, unequivocally wrong.

As I stated in my disclaimer, I am by no means a homophobe. I have known people that ARE totally anti-homosexual, just as I have known gay and lesbian people in my lifetime. I have known several homosexual people and not even been aware of it until they revealed it, sometimes after years of classes together. I do not have any issue with homosexual people as long as they do not push their lifestyle/beliefs at me. If you are gay, that’s your decision and I wouldn’t presume to try and change your mind on it, just as I would assume you would not presume to change my mind on being a heterosexual male. Unfortunately, not just in the case of this student, I have time and again been confronted by homosexual individuals who claim I am totally unsupportive of what they call “gay rights”. This is quite simply a cause for concern for me, for multiple reasons. Foremost among those reasons is that I am being unfairly labeled and criticized for my beliefs.

I’d like to outline, very specifically, why I am against the concept of the “Day of Silence”. This is a yearly event (formed within the last twenty or so years if I recall correctly) that is designed to promote awareness of the discrimination faced by homosexual individuals in modern society. I cannot argue that people of this disposition are not to an extent unfairly treated, not in a society where someone can be denied business because they are gay, or in which the word “******” is still used rampantly. We live in the United States of America, the one country in the world where individuals truly have opportunity to be whoever they want to be, to do whatever they want to do, and believe in whatever they choose to. However, the Day of Silence is of great concern to me as an American. This event is primarily one in which the younger generation participates, which means it is present in schools across the nation. THIS is the critical issue for me in talking about the Day of Silence.

In recent years, society has seen a massive shift in the direction of being “politically correct” at all times, and this trend is no more prevalent than in the public school system. We can’t talk about politics, guns/gun control, religion, ideological beliefs, or even some holidays in school as a result of this, because they are almost considered “taboo topics”. They’re what I call the “opinion topics”, the ones that find someone either for or against them with little room for any sort of middle ground. These are the topics that cause arguments, the topics that are laced with political undertones and private agendas. With this in mind, I pose this question to the reader: how, in this system of censorship found in public school systems, can homosexuality (which is one of THE topics of debate in modern America) be an acceptable topic to discuss, and in many cases, promote the advancement in society of?

Again, I am not against homosexual individuals. But I cannot in good conscience stand behind an event, really a movement, of such a nature when I can be suspended for drawing a stick figure holding a pistol in its hand, for wearing a pro-2nd Amendment shirt, or for telling somebody I don’t believe in the message of their religion. If my right to free speech is limited in such a way, if I cannot demonstrate MY own beliefs on certain topics that have relevance to me in my life, why should the Day of Silence be allowed to occur in schools throughout the United States? Why should homosexual individuals (and those who support them, I realize I have missed that up to this point) be allowed to express their beliefs so OPENLY as to be allowed to take a vow of silence for an entire day? Especially when homosexuality is in many ways a more contested topic in society than the other “taboo/opinion topics”? I cannot even begin to express my utter disbelief at the double standard present here. I get that these people face some pretty harsh and unfair treatment in terms of bullying, but to me that is a crutch on which the creators of this event fall back upon in order to promote a larger message, a deeper ideology that should not be present in a school system or any other such venue. I am not trying to sound cold here, but heterosexual teenagers get bullied just as much. People get misunderstood and bullied for a number of reasons. The entire “promote awareness of the unfair treatment of these individuals” message doesn’t cut it for me when we as a society don’t have such dedicated or mass generic anti-bullying movements.

I also take mild offense to the Day of Silence event because it demonstrates a total lack of respect for the beliefs of others. I do not believe this, but to many, homosexuality is a sin for which one is sentenced to divine punishment in the form of Hell. To many, homosexuality is offensive. It goes against their religious or ideological beliefs (again, the “taboo/opinion topics” arise) and those people have every right to be affronted by this event. It shoves a message/belief in their face that goes directly against their core values, and this IS what I believe is a problem. I personally do not care if you are gay, but don’t “wave” it in front of my face and try to shove it down my throat. That is exactly what the Day of Silence does. That is what “Gay Allied Youth” clubs in schools do. They force people to at least acknowledge the presence of an organized movement in which they may not believe in. But when people attempt to protest this, they are for all intents and purposes crucified for attempting to stand up for their own beliefs. They are labeled, rightly or wrongly, as homophobic. They’re targeted, singled out, punished for countering belief with belief. It amounts to something as simplistic as this – the Day of Silence for promoting awareness for homosexual/etc. individuals is socially acceptable, but if heterosexual students banded together to form a counter Day of Silence event promoting heterosexuality, they would be ridiculed and scorned, and in all likelihood the event would not even be allowed to take place. This is the direction our society is heading in.

I appeal to the reader to evaluate the arguments I have presented – I could easily go on for twenty pages about this particular topic, and I am happy to CIVILLY debate my opinion should anyone wish to, however I do not want anyone to take this out of context. The Day of Silence can exist, that’s fine by me – but keep it out of the public schools. If I cannot promote my beliefs as openly, I do not and cannot understand what makes this event so acceptable. If I cannot express my opinion on a topic without getting in trouble – which is constitutionally righted to me – then these people have no right nor business pushing their opinion at me. I simply refuse to be labeled a homophobic man because I don’t participate in or support a “Day of Silence”.

[healingme4me]

I can see bits and pieces where if published, someone will jump all over you in an inflammatory way. They might anyways, but if you're looking to revise and edit, this might be as good of a forum as any. "Wave" is certainly an expression that could rub wrong. And without having quoted your letter, I'm unable to pull out areas that I see as potentially being trigger points for others. Not that your message isn't loud and clear. No-one deserves to be bullied into going with the flow. They could have just accepted your No, not participating and moved on. Explaining why isn't truly important, your not participating needed to be accepted. That chip on the shoulder rests with them and them alone.

[brandon9]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I can see bits and pieces where if published, someone will jump all over you in an inflammatory way. They might anyways, but if you're looking to revise and edit, this might be as good of a forum as any. "Wave" is certainly an expression that could rub wrong. And without having quoted your letter, I'm unable to pull out areas that I see as potentially being trigger points for others. Not that your message isn't loud and clear. No-one deserves to be bullied into going with the flow. They could have just accepted your No, not participating and moved on. Explaining why isn't truly important, your not participating needed to be accepted. That chip on the shoulder rests with them and them alone.

I appreciate your feedback! I was definitely shooting for some tips or ideas for revision before I send this thing off - I figured I'd probably have some phrasing I could improve upon. It's just a hard thing to speak about (and harder to write about) without even unconsciously or unintentionally making an inflammatory remark. I had added the trigger mark simply because I figured that this would piss somebody off, I don't have any idea how many or if any people here would take offense simply to the title or subject matter of this article. Figured I'd play it safe.

The guy calling me homophobic really just pushed me to the extreme of being done with people being allowed to push certain beliefs or what have you while I cannot push mine, while my freedom of speech is limited. I think that's a big undertone in the entire thing.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I'm something of a wannabe editor, so forgive me if I'm a bit of a jerk here.

I also take mild offense to the Day of Silence event because it demonstrates a total lack of respect for the beliefs of others. I do not believe this, but to many, homosexuality is a sin for which one is sentenced to divine punishment in the form of Hell. To many, homosexuality is offensive. It goes against their religious or ideological beliefs (again, the “taboo/opinion topics” arise) and those people have every right to be affronted by this event. It shoves a message/belief in their face that goes directly against their core values, and this IS what I believe is a problem. I personally do not care if you are gay, but don’t “wave” it in front of my face and try to shove it down my throat. That is exactly what the Day of Silence does.

In your previous paragraphs, if I understood right, you take issue with how the LGBT community can have an entire day to honor their controversial struggles in society, but expressing other controversial views are liable to get you called out, suspended etc. We can be as vocal as we want about homosexuality, but guns or religion must be shut up immediately! It's a good point...but it doesn't seem to be much of an argument for your decision not to participate.

I have a very hard time believing that anyone will take the "homosexuality offends some people" argument seriously. Alas, poor bigot! It almost sounds like a parody, considering that the existence of these sorts of people is a huge reason non-heterosexuals have faced discrimination. You come across as shooting down a movement with arguements from their greatest enemy. If anything, that just digs you deeper into looking homophobic.

You are basically arguing that an LGBT pride demonstration would be offensive to someone's beliefs - okay, what about every holiday ever that doesn't match everyone's beliefs, and every other political demonstration that draws detractors? Hell, even that pistol shirt you mentioned. Those are also "putting someone else's beliefs in your face". You can't argue this for gay pride unless you're going to argue it for everything else.

You also mention constitutional rights: yes, you absolutely have a right to your own beliefs. So do they. Others have a right to assemble peacefully and honor/celebrate/discuss something you don't give a flying purple **** about. They actually do have a right to criticize you (and you, them), but your problem is you're focusing too little on yourself. This is personal defense, and bringing rights into it gets complicated, since it's a two-way street. You're trying to demonstrate hypocrisy, and...kinda failing. Same with values: actually, if you live in a multicultural, liberal, secular society, yes, you are going to encounter things that are contrary to your beliefs. That's literally part of life. The "we shouldn't have things we don't agree with 'shoved in our faces'" argument isn't going to work, partly because it applies to everyone else, and people have sucha variety of beliefs, it's impossible to please everyone. Tolerance is necessary in a society like ours.

Real advice:
You should not be forced to participate in anything political; opting-out should be allowed and accepted, provided the individual remains respectful. I understand you're trying to defend your decision not to participate. Try this on for size: where do people get off assuming you're homophobic because you don't want to participate in a demonstration? Try throwing that angle in there. Currently, you come across as slamming Day of Silence and gay rights rather than defending your choice not to participate. You'll do much better slamming his crappy excuse for reasoning. You don't want to participate; it's not that important an issue to you, or you don't agree that it's necessary, what have you. That does not at all equal homophobia.

Okay, I've been *****y enough and probably repeated myself a dozen times.

[brandon9]

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

I'm something of a wannabe editor, so forgive me if I'm a bit of a jerk here....

I actually value the criticism, I take no offense at all to your analysis. It's actually helped me in spotting some errors I can fix (mind you I was very angry when I originally wrote this, one reason why I wanted others to view it). I'll go paragraph by paragraph in responding to your post, it's easier that way.

I do take offense to the fact that this community can have an event like this be present in a public school setting. I don't particularly care one way or another about them "expressing their gay pride", I care about WHERE they are doing said expressing. To me it just does not belong in a public school system, it should be an out-of-school event if it is going to exist. That's issue #1 and it's a big one for me in talking about this, because of issue #2, which I'll hit on in a minute.

I by no means want to sound like a bigot - I don't at all want that. Like I have said, I have no problem with someone being homosexual, provided they respect that I (or others) don't want to SEE it physically expressed in front of me - I don't want to be walking down the hallway passing two guys making out in front of the locker (it's happened, true example). I simply want to articulate that the Day of Silence event is too deeply rooted in deeper ideologies for it to just be a "anti-discrimination" demonstration, as the creators would have it described. To me it comes across as a "I'm gay/lesbian/etc and proud, accept that we are here" demonstration. At my particular school, and pardon the bluntness of it, the Day of Silence legitimately has taken the form of a "F you" to the heterosexual majority. People have physically fought over this event at my school in previous years and yet it is still allowed to continue... it causes conflict.

I actually really liked your third paragraph as I feel I can elaborate on my stance in that regard. The freedom of speech granted to students and faculty in a public school system is limited (issue #2)- as I said, those almost taboo topics are simply not acceptable for discussion or presence in these schools. I used the religion and gun advocacy as examples (though I do firmly support 2nd amendment rights) because they're common, at least where I am. But the point is that I absolutely agree that if they want to limit free speech in this setting, it needs to apply to ALL of the societal issues at hand, not a "pick and choose" approach. You're absolutely right in saying about the holidays, political demonstrations, advocacy shirts, etc. - it's got to apply to all of it. Homosexuality should not be discussed and as openly visible of a movement in the school system when other, sometimes less controversial topics are censored. If the goal of the school system is to promote an environment dedicated to learning the material required, and part of reaching that goal is censorship of controversial topics to prevent conflict between students who are there to learn, then by God they should either censor it all or let it all be uncensored. It amounts to either 100% in or not in at all, it simply cannot be a 75-25 majority censorship. So I completely agree with you in that paragraph, it's an excellent point!

Your next paragraph kind of raises the same argument as my previous one, about the censorship issue, but I will say that you're right here too, each side has rights. They're limited in the school setting, as I've stated repeatedly, which is why the last paragraph is the same argument I'd make here, it doesn't belong in the schools. But it also boils down to this - if I don't want to see it, and they want to express it, the middle ground would be for them to respect my wish and for me to accept their sexual orientation. Just a rough example of how an interaction based on mutual respect of personal rights should go:

Two gay males are kissing in the line in front of me at a store. I POLITELY say, "Hey guys, would you mind not doing that in front of me? I don't care that you're together, I would just prefer to not see you kissing." They should respect that, maybe reply with a "Of course, we understand", and we all go about our business and go on with the day. I'm not seeking an apology or anything for it, just a common understanding and respect. But in 9/10 cases, that exact event would lead to a huge argument in the middle of the grocery store line, because the two sides don't have that mutual respect - they want to be open and kiss all they want to, and the other guy doesn't want any part of that and gets pissed they won't put it off until they're in private.

I do really appreciate your final advice, I definitely think that's a good angle to look at it from. I see now after reading it a few times over that I missed the mark on personal defense in that I didn't defend my choice enough - my overall stance was clear but I didn't convey my side thoroughly. I'd really appreciate if you have anything else to critique or to point out, from this post or the original. You have been very helpful actually, not *****y at all, as you put it lol.

[Crazy Hitch]

I've debated for a while if I should respond to this for fear of not coming across as arrogant ....

So I will just say in short that for me, personally, I learned a long time ago who I am and if others think otherwise so be it. I don't go out to prove a point to those who intentionally provoke me. I simply let it be ...

[Mr.Arch-Vile]

You should look up what a social justice warrior is to understand why this happened to you.

I personally don't want to see anybody straight, gay or otherwise making out in public.

But, let me see if I understand you correctly ...

It's still okay when straight people do it in public, but not okay when members of the LGBT community do it?

Give me a pfrickin' break ...

The reason this sounds "homophobic" is because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!

I'm so sorry members of the heterosexual community feel put upon by members of the LGBT community that ARE NOT ASKING FOR SPECIAL RIGHTS, but are simply asking to have the "same" rights as members of the heterosexual community without living in fear of being intimidated, harassed, bullied, berated and/or abused because of expressing those exact same rights!

As far as religious beliefs go ... You are not being told you can't have your beliefs, you are simply being told that it IS NO LONGER OKAY for you to use those beliefs to intimidate, harass, bully, berate and/or abuse others who do not share your particular beliefs or walk the exact same path as you!

Simple as that!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

[Patoman04]

Homophobic is such a rhetorical phrase. Very rarely do people that oppose homosexuality actually have homophobia. It's all political correctness and ridiculousness. "If you don't agree with me I'll spew hatred towards you in the form of labels and name calling" It happens all too much in this world these days and it's sad. There are 2.8 Billion Catholics and Muslims in the world. Both religions express disapproval in one form or another of this topic. It's ridiculous to think that all or even most of these people have a phobia. I am a catholic, and while I have never spoken out against homosexuality, I have never supported it's movement either based on personal beliefs that I am entitled to. In short, I stay out of it altogether. I'm sorry someone was harassing you for personal views and opinions or simply you decision not to take part in an event. It is so disgusting to see the intolerance of people when you don't agree with them. Like those above me though, I would advise not sending out that letter. It will never reach anyone and will only start heated arguments/conflict. You simply have to ignore all the social justice warriors. Their hatred towards anyone against their views will come back to haunt them in the end, assuming you believe in religion/karma/whatever. Don't be afraid to have your own opinion. Don't allow these people to bully you into siding with them. However, don't bother trying to debate or discuss these topics with them because it will simply lead to a shouting match every time. It's sad to see what debates/arguments have come to in the modern world; just a bunch of children yelling at each other, unable to respect each others' beliefs, regardless of which side they are on.

[brandon9]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

I've debated for a while if I should respond to this for fear of not coming across as arrogant ....

So I will just say in short that for me, personally, I learned a long time ago who I am and if others think otherwise so be it. I don't go out to prove a point to those who intentionally provoke me. I simply let it be ...

All responses are totally welcome, and much appriciated! I totally get your message here, and I typically am a pretty passive and tolerant person in regard to many things, but I have been against this event for years (since my middle school years). I have spoken on this before to friends, even to several homosexual people I know (I know several and am on good terms with each, I played soccer with one guy for 6 years before I knew he was gay, doesn't bother me because he respects my and other people's orientation). Several of those homosexual friends and acquaintances don't even support the event themselves honestly. I just firmly believe it shouldn't take place in schools for the many reasons previously listed. And I am at the point of being fed up with "political correctness".

[brandon9]

Originally Posted by Mr.Arch-Vile

You should look up what a social justice warrior is to understand why this happened to you.

I've got a general idea of SJWs, I think some further reading might be in order on the topic however!

I just find it insulting that someone would call me homophobic, given that I have never spoken out publicly against homosexuality, I have never harassed a gay individual, I have made it abundantly clear to all who know me I am in no way against gay people...I simply don't support this Day of Silence nonsense... smh

[SilverNeurotic]

Tbh, the letter is basically saying that you are not homophobic...as long as people stay in the closet. That, to me, is hypocritical.

My advice, ditch the letter. It will cause too many problems and it makes you look bad. If you still feel the need to write a letter, stick to something simple.


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

[Crazy Hitch]

Yup. Exactly what SilverNeurotic said.

[brandon9]

Originally Posted by Pfrog

I personally don't want to see anybody straight, gay or otherwise making out in public.

But, let me see if I understand you correctly ...

It's still okay when straight people do it in public, but not okay when members of the LGBT community do it?

Give me a pfrickin' break ...

The reason this sounds "homophobic" is because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!

I'm so sorry members of the heterosexual community feel put upon by members of the LGBT community that ARE NOT ASKING FOR SPECIAL RIGHTS, but are simply asking to have the "same" rights as members of the heterosexual community without living in fear of being intimidated, harassed, bullied, berated and/or abused because of expressing those exact same rights!

As far as religious beliefs go ... You are not being told you can't have your beliefs, you are simply being told that it IS NO LONGER OKAY for you to use those beliefs to intimidate, harass, bully, berate and/or abuse others who do not share your particular beliefs or walk the exact same path as you!

Simple as that!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

You misunderstand me. It's NOT okay for heterosexual couples to make out in public either, I never said it was. That should be done in private - one's home, hotel room, what have you. Behind closed doors in essence. If you believe that I display homophobia I fail to see how, with respect to you. Public make-out sessions are universally unacceptable.

The problem is that the members of this "community" take to exhibiting the exact same behavior that they are supposedly seeking to end - harassment, berating heterosexuals, lacking what I'd call common courtesy. I'm not saying all homosexual individuals do this, far from it; but a large percentage DO. Those individuals expect everyone to put a filter over their mouths to appease THEIR position, such as the individual who first called me homophobic (which I have been called for several times since at school this latter part of the week!). I'm not going to gag myself to appease somebody of that disposition, someone who so hypocritically fights for "the end of harassment" while harassing others to get to that point.... **** that. It's like the idea of "waging war to prevent war" - you're still fighting a damn war either way.

Your last part about religious beliefs totally misses the concept of my message in that regard.... I really don't know how to make a coherent response to it so I apologize if this sounds a bit scattered. I am not personally a very religious person - I was raised a Baptist, I don't go to church (haven't in 7 years), I freely admit I have my doubts about God and certain other aspects of Christianity, but I still harbor a certain amount of faith. I have never in my life known someone who used religion as a crutch for opposing homosexuality. I know people do it, but none that I know, and my friends group includes people of many differing faiths (Jewish, atheist, Catholic...). It's never BEEN OKAY to use any religious belief to intimidate others for anything, as you seem to imply. I personally just see that argument as inherently flawed.

I mean no disrespect to you, I sincerely hope you don't take anything as a personal attack or anything of the sort. I'm just elaborating my stance.

[brandon9]

Originally Posted by Patoman04

Homophobic is such a rhetorical phrase. Very rarely do people that oppose homosexuality actually have homophobia. It's all political correctness and ridiculousness. "If you don't agree with me I'll spew hatred towards you in the form of labels and name calling" It happens all too much in this world these days and it's sad. There are 2.8 Billion Catholics and Muslims in the world. Both religions express disapproval in one form or another of this topic. It's ridiculous to think that all or even most of these people have a phobia. I am a catholic, and while I have never spoken out against homosexuality, I have never supported it's movement either based on personal beliefs that I am entitled to. In short, I stay out of it altogether. I'm sorry someone was harassing you for personal views and opinions or simply you decision not to take part in an event. It is so disgusting to see the intolerance of people when you don't agree with them. Like those above me though, I would advise not sending out that letter. It will never reach anyone and will only start heated arguments/conflict. You simply have to ignore all the social justice warriors. Their hatred towards anyone against their views will come back to haunt them in the end, assuming you believe in religion/karma/whatever. Don't be afraid to have your own opinion. Don't allow these people to bully you into siding with them. However, don't bother trying to debate or discuss these topics with them because it will simply lead to a shouting match every time. It's sad to see what debates/arguments have come to in the modern world; just a bunch of children yelling at each other, unable to respect each others' beliefs, regardless of which side they are on.

You phrase that whole thing very well. Political correctness will inevitably cause more conflict than it aims to prevent, by its inherent nature. It's one of the great issues of the 21st century, in my opinion, one that needs to be resolved sooner rather than later before it's consequences screw everyone over.

Even if I scrap the letter idea, I am still of the intense opinion that this Day of Silence should not be allowed in public schools... unfortunately it looks as if advocacy of that idea is only going to get me labeled and solve nothing, which is ****ed up lol...

[LiteraryLark]

I will not comment on your article because I'm not sure how much of that is deliberately offensive or simply the cause of a right-wing conservative upbringing, but I will share my experience with the Day of Silence.

I never did understand the Day of Silence. I am a huge LGBT supporter, gone to LGBT events and activities in high school such as Queercoming and Gay Prom, more friends of mine than not are LGBT, but I think there are better ways to speak out about the injustice of LGBT than to not speak at all, I think that is the opposite of what needs to be done. In high school, many of my LGBT friends participated in the Day of Silence. They wore duct tape over their mouths with writing on it and they would carry a letter that stated their cause. They would talk to me about it, and I've considered doing it, but it never appealed to me. It did, however, made think more about LGBT rights and how to get involved.

I would not send your letter in. You can say you're not homophobic, but it will be viewed as homophobic and offensive because that is what it is.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by brandon9

The guy calling me homophobic really just pushed me to the extreme of being done with people being allowed to push certain beliefs or what have you while I cannot push mine, while my freedom of speech is limited. I think that's a big undertone in the entire thing.

Originally Posted by brandon9

I just find it insulting that someone would call me homophobic, given that I have never spoken out publicly against homosexuality, I have never harassed a gay individual, I have made it abundantly clear to all who know me I am in no way against gay people...I simply don't support this Day of Silence ... smh

Or...don't want to participate instead of not support

Originally Posted by brandon9

The problem is that the members of this "community" take to exhibiting the exact same behavior that they are supposedly seeking to end - harassment, berating heterosexuals, lacking what I'd call common courtesy. I'm not saying all homosexual individuals do this, far from it; but a large percentage DO. Those individuals expect everyone to put a filter over their mouths to appease THEIR position, such as the individual who first called me homophobic (which I have been called for several times since at school this latter part of the week!). I'm not going to gag myself to appease somebody of that disposition, someone who so hypocritically fights for "the end of harassment" while harassing others to get to that point.... .

I agree with keeping it on how it made you feel as well as keeping it simple. I clipped some of your replies to point out areas of what transpired that might not be taken in an inflammatory way.

People can say anything they want, it doesn't make it true. You are allowing yourself to be manipulated into responding. You don't have to do that. And the method of response you've chosen is likely just going to cause you more pain.

I think it's excellent to write down how you feel, with a goal to venting, increasing your own understanding, finding closure. Sharing what you write with others with regard to a controversial subject is merely inviting disaster and conflict. Do you really want that?

These people have hurt you with their words. In addition, they've hurt you with words that are not true. So why not just allow their words to not be true? They can't define who you are, unless you let them. And they don't get to decide what truth is for you. I totally would not submit your article for publication. If you do, then they have gotten the better of you.

Originally Posted by brandon9

You misunderstand me. It's NOT okay for heterosexual couples to make out in public either, I never said it was. That should be done in private - one's home, hotel room, what have you. Behind closed doors in essence. If you believe that I display homophobia I fail to see how, with respect to you. Public make-out sessions are universally unacceptable.

The problem is that the members of this "community" take to exhibiting the exact same behavior that they are supposedly seeking to end - harassment, berating heterosexuals, lacking what I'd call common courtesy. I'm not saying all homosexual individuals do this, far from it; but a large percentage DO. Those individuals expect everyone to put a filter over their mouths to appease THEIR position, such as the individual who first called me homophobic (which I have been called for several times since at school this latter part of the week!). I'm not going to gag myself to appease somebody of that disposition, someone who so hypocritically fights for "the end of harassment" while harassing others to get to that point.... **** that. It's like the idea of "waging war to prevent war" - you're still fighting a damn war either way.

Your last part about religious beliefs totally misses the concept of my message in that regard.... I really don't know how to make a coherent response to it so I apologize if this sounds a bit scattered. I am not personally a very religious person - I was raised a Baptist, I don't go to church (haven't in 7 years), I freely admit I have my doubts about God and certain other aspects of Christianity, but I still harbor a certain amount of faith. I have never in my life known someone who used religion as a crutch for opposing homosexuality. I know people do it, but none that I know, and my friends group includes people of many differing faiths (Jewish, atheist, Catholic...). It's never BEEN OKAY to use any religious belief to intimidate others for anything, as you seem to imply. I personally just see that argument as inherently flawed.

I mean no disrespect to you, I sincerely hope you don't take anything as a personal attack or anything of the sort. I'm just elaborating my stance.

I don't feel personally disrespected or attacked, brandon9, but where I don't there are others that probably will ... Unfortunately when that happens things are gonna get said and done that cause more heartache and grief instead of creating more insight and understanding.

Both sides have people that go to extremes to try to get their points across, but it's the ones that are not extreme that will eventually find the middle ground that allows most human beings to peacefully coexist amongst each other in spite of all our differences!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

[yagr]

Originally Posted by brandon9

I was told I was homophobic because I do not support the "Day of Silence" event that is upcoming in several weeks, and it pissed me off so much that I decided to write an article anonymously to submit to my local newspaper and school officials. I don't bash here, am not homophobic at all, I just want feedback on my article and on this very troubling event / labeling of my beliefs. Thanks to all who may read this, I realize it is a bit long!

I'm sorry if this pisses you off but I'm going to tell you exactly what I think you are - I think you are a typewriter. Did you get mad when I called you a typewriter? Didn't think so. Might have even cracked a smile...a little one maybe? So my question to you is, why is calling you something you are clearly not so offensive sometimes and not other times?

Incidentally, I agree with those who suggest not sending this letter. The purpose of speaking is to communicate. Communication requires action on the part of the one who is speaking as well as the one they are speaking to. Since you are not going to be heard by the folks that you are directing this at, there is no point in saying it. imo, of course. But let's say that you are going to send it anyway, which is your prerogative...

Originally Posted by brandon9

DISCLAIMER: Before I even begin this article, I would like to immediately make clear that I am in NO WAY a homophobic individual.

People are going to make up their own mind on this as they read the article, your opinion on the matter means nothing to them. In fact, it does damage to your argument. What's the first thing you're going to think if you begin an article that starts this way:

DISCLAIMER: Before I even begin this article, I would like to immediately make clear that I am in NO WAY a pedophile.

Ah-huh, exactly.

Originally Posted by brandon9

I am not trying to bash anybody in any way in writing this.

Same argument - they are going to make up their own minds on this. If they can't tell that you're not trying to bash anyone by reading your article, this isn't going to convince them.

Originally Posted by brandon9

I am merely going to express my opinion and stance following an event that happened to me, in which I was accused of being a homophobic/anti-homosexual individual simply because I stated my view on the “National Day of Silence” event to a gay student attempting to get me to participate in it. My views are my own, I speak for nobody else in this, and I have a right to express those views, just as the reader has the right to disagree with them. When reading this, please approach it with as much of an open mentality as possible.

Of course you are going to express your opinion - that's what letters to the editor/articles are for. Of course your views are your own. Of course you do not speak for anyone else. Of course you have a right to express your views and of course the reader can disagree.

There's a tremendous amount of information in here that takes away form your point. Almost nothing here needs to be said. I am not saying this unkindly - I have been an editor and am an author - albeit an author on sleep meds at the moment.

Originally Posted by brandon9

I was in school the other day and the upcoming “Day of Silence” came up as a topic of conversation in my second period class –

Here is how the letter should, in my opinion, start. Everything up to this point is superfluous.

Originally Posted by brandon9

...a student in the class was passing out sign-up forms of some sort for it. I was not particularly happy with this but I just kept my head down and did my work, talked to the person next to me, just went about my business. When this student came to me, he attempted to hand me a sign-up form and I told him “No thanks, I’ll pass man.” Nothing hateful, not a barbed remark, simply a polite refusal. Instead of accepting this refusal and moving on, the student proceeded to question me as to why I didn’t want a form.

Incidentally, I'd like to say that I thought you handled this well and I believe that he should have let it go immediately. He handled it poorly; you did not.

Originally Posted by brandon9

We live in the United States of America, the one country in the world where individuals truly have opportunity to be whoever they want to be, to do whatever they want to do, and believe in whatever they choose to.

This position is a pet peeve of mine, this idea of American exceptionalism - particularly when it is championed by someone who has never lived outside of this country. Perhaps that doesn't apply to you - but for those who have lived in countries like Canada, England, Sweden, etc., etc., such a statement is likely to color you in an unfavorable light. Frankly, a lot of folks' subconscious are going to start attaching labels like 'ignorant' or 'redneck' at such a comment, which wouldn't be so terrible but unless they value traits like ignorance, they're likely to unconsciously continue reading with those filters in place.

To be clear, I'm not calling you ignorant or a redneck.

Originally Posted by brandon9

However, the Day of Silence is of great concern to me as an American. This event is primarily one in which the younger generation participates, which means it is present in schools across the nation. THIS is the critical issue for me in talking about the Day of Silence.

In recent years, society has seen a massive shift in the direction of being “politically correct” at all times, and this trend is no more prevalent than in the public school system. We can’t talk about politics, guns/gun control, religion, ideological beliefs, or even some holidays in school as a result of this, because they are almost considered “taboo topics”. <snipped a bunch>

This is your point. If you're going to send a letter/article, send stuff like this.

Originally Posted by brandon9

Again, I am not against homosexual individuals.

Can you see how tiring this phrase is getting? Convince them with your argument, not your denials.

Originally Posted by brandon9

Why should homosexual individuals (and those who support them, I realize I have missed that up to this point)

From an editorial point of view only: when you realize that you've missed something up till this point - go back and fix it and make it right the first time.

Originally Posted by brandon9

I am not trying to sound cold here, but heterosexual teenagers get bullied just as much.

This is too easily fact checked and proven wrong. If you are going to make a wild claim - or even one you know to be true and know it is going to sound like a wild claim, offer some objective evidence. i.e. "According to the American Psychological Journal's excellent article "Homosexual Bullying" in their May, 2015 issue, heterosexual teens are bullied just as often as their LBGTQ peers." I completed fabricated that btw, no such article exists. A quick search shows this instead:

86% of LGBT youth report being harassed at school. Compare this to 27.3% of all students being bullied at school as reported by the National Center for Educational Statistics in 2013.

Anyway, let me close here and just say again, I think you're 'no thanks' should have been accepted.

[RichardBrooks]

Originally Posted by brandon9

If I cannot express my opinion on a topic without getting in trouble – which is constitutionally righted to me – then these people have no right nor business pushing their opinion at me.

The inherent flaw in your argument is simply this: you think it's an opinion being expressed at this event. Being gay is not an opinion; it's not a belief system; and it's certainly not a 'topic' for you to 'debate'. No one is trying, as you put it, to change your mind on being heterosexual.
I see nothing in your original response to the guy asking you to attend the event that could be labeled homophobic. That said, a school is much like a small town in that it's somewhat of a microcosm-- almost everyone knows almost everyone-- and based on the arguments you make for you disapproval of the event, I find it likely you were called a homophobe for more than just this one interaction with this one person. Your insistence on putting terms such as gay rights and LGBT community in quotation marks undermines the respect you claim to have for "them".

[divine1966]

It's your right not to participate.

I would make some changes in your article though for example where you say "it is their choice to be gay". Which is universally known isn't the choice. As its not your choice to be heterosexual. Also statement that US is the only country in the world where people can be who they want to be. It's simply untrue. If you lived or travel in many European countries people enjoy same life and rights as we do here.

Overall many of your other arguments just don't sound convincing because maybe due to your young age you just don't know many things (yet).

But I fully support your lack of desire to join in. When I was in high school I just hated any extracurricular activities and wanted to get my grades and get out. I always support my students who don't want to join into anything.

You really don't need to explain why you don't want to join. If other students keep harassing you about not joining in maybe you can complain to an adult so they leave you alone. It's bullying.

Publishing this article ( unless you revise many of your arguments) wouldn't portray you in favorable light. Good luck

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[TishaBuv]

I had never even heard of The Day Of Silence, and I asked my kids if they ever did it in their schools, and they said no.

I agree with you that to allow kids to walk around with tape over their mouths and refusing to speak all day during school is stupid for any cause and it is unfair to the kids who are not participating. It holds the teacher back from teaching. Nobody can answer or ask any questions.

However, you have to pick your battles. Publishing this letter is only going to cause you trouble. I would just go privately talk to the principal and tell them how you feel about it.

I'm a 52-year-old gay man, and when I was growing up the issues facing the gay community were guns, knives, and baseball bats. Thus we had REAL issues.

As a card-carrying member of the ACLU I believe a "Day of Silence" should not be in public schools, for it opens a Pandora's box for every cause to be in public schools. We're going to have to allow religious memorials, agnostic and atheist memorials, KKK and neo-Nazi memorials, etc.

To conclude, a "Day of Silence" should not be allowed in a public school.

[(JD)]

First, as my own disclaimer, let me state that I have not read any of the posts, not even your first one...just a few sentences of the issue and that your wrote.

I want to say that being "tolerant" is not tolerance of a person's actions. Tolerance is not for things...it's for people. Many, dare I say most, people today do not understand this. We can be tolerant of people, allow them their POVs etc, but do not have to condone their POVs.

Modern free speech protestors imposed "political correctness" upon us to silence anyone at anytime when they wanted to...and it is (was) used anytime anyone disagreed with what THEY said or thought or felt. I believe this time of "pc" speech oppression is over...and those who insist that anyone who feels differently than they do is some kind of "--phobic" are indeed, themselves "phobic". Just my POV