[mylife]

I am IM'ing with a guy I met online and once in person. He has always wanted to get together more, but other than that he doesn't really chat about general stuff or reply to emails or messages. All I have to do is mention sex and it seems that he appears out of no where. (FWIW and TMI, I know he'd be good. Oh, the hands on that man! ;-) He knows about my past abuse and says he's understanding, but he always seems to want to know when he can come over, or get together somewhere. He'll ask if I will do it with him and if I want to. It adds pressure in meeting someone. It's hard enough to just meet someone in person for the first time, let alone a second or third knowing what he wants to happen. Why am I IM'ing with him tonight? Last time I felt too much pressure from the thought and possibilty of meeting him again that I just got too stressed. With that and other things happening, I just became withdrawn and felt detached from life. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. It's my own fault this time because I sent him an email last night while under under the influence of liquid euphoria. sigh.

[Zenobia]

Oh the draw of the IM. I know it a little to well. Sounds like you know that this guy may not be the best bet for a stable loving relationship. ah but the draw of it all. I tell you what, how about I get instant messaging again then I can pretend the I am a seductive man who shall draw you away from this other guy. On second thought maybe that would not be so good, IM is too addictive for me...too dangerous.
Zen

<font color=green>Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.--Angela Monet

[mylife]

Well, if you can't pretend then could you try to dream about one for me tonight? Thanks... LOL

[kitty]

Please be careful and be safe. From what you wrote, this guy does not sound too promissing. If he was interested in anything other than sex, he probably would not even be mentioning sex at all. Please don't meet him in person alone and don't be with him alone until you really know who he is.

[heidu]

I agree with Kitty. I met my husband online and although he isnt a horrible person he isnt what I thought. You can do and say anything online. Be anybody. If your gut is telling you no LISTEN!!!
Besides, you deserve better than some guy who only wants a shag. You are worth more than that and should save yourself for a decent caring person. Women are a jewel. You may get a little something but will you really wake up feeling good about yourself or the experience tomorrow.
Please stay safe and follow your gut. It never lies.
Heidu

[mj14]

mylife, you sure sound a lot like me...things always seem to get too intense too fast. But any man that could hear about your past abuse and still pressure you for sex is no good. As they say, actions speak louder than words, and even though he says he understands your problems and your needs, to continually ask you about seeing him, and having sex with him, shows that he doesn't understand at all. If you feel like testing this friendship, then lay down the law. Tell him that you are uncomfortable discussing sex, and you will talk about anything else, but if he questions you about sex, you will disconnect...and mean it. If he is worth talking to, he will find something else to talk about. If he can't, then he's not worth knowing.

Good luck...and you know where to find me if you want to chat. : )

*hugs*
mj