[Superheroine]

She's so passive aggressive and unreasonable. If she wasn't also my best friend I'd tell her to stuff it where the sun don't shine. She makes me so angry and at the same time so upset and hurt.

One of our dogs accidentally hurt her by pulling really hard on the leash. My friend planted her foot and wound up hurting her knee so badly that she's been delayed in going back to work after a workplace injury to the same knee. She made (another) passive aggressive comment about how the dog is "costing her $800 a month" and I simply pointed out that what happened was an accident and the dog didn't mean to hurt her.

If looks could kill... She gave me this look like I was the most horrible person on the earth, scoffed at me, and said with such disdain, "are you serious?"

She ranted about her precarious work situation and then tried to make me feel guilty for having parents that can afford to help me in my much needed time of need. The decision to ask my parents for help was not an easy one, that's for damn sure, and she knows that.

She stopped talking to me and got up and went to bed while we were in the middle of watching a show without even saying a word.

All because I said the dog didn't do it on purpose??

I honestly do not know how to deal with someone who sees everything as an attack and is ALWAYS defensive. Her behavior really bothers me, but if I say something about it, I'm the asshole.

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[Emotionally Dead]

The joy of best friends.. You can spend years being the best of friends with all the chemistry and in the world and then after spending a few days living under the same roof you might want to throw them out the window lol. Unfortunately this happens a lot. Some people just aren't as compatible as roommates as they are as friends. I guess another reason that is is as we get comfortable with people we aren't as skittish when it comes to arguing.

From what you shared with us I don't think you did or said anything wrong. Also, from my interpretation you were saying that she injured her knee at work before the incident with the dog ever even happened, right? If that is the case then she really can't blame you or your animals because she already had an injury there and this particular incident just flared it up. Either way it was an accident, but I think it's silly to blame you or the dog if she already sustained that injury before.

I am thinking she is just frustrated which is understandable because no one wants to struggle financially, but that still doesn't mean she should take it out on you. I would try discussing it with her, but if you two can't find common ground then it might be time to just be friends again and look for a different roommate. It seems like something that should be able to be worked out though, with a little understanding and cooperation.

(((hugs))) blessings and tc

[Superheroine]

We've lived together for a very long time and this type of behavior is commonplace. Trying to talk to her about it will only add fuel to the fire.

I understand that she's completely stressed out and scared. I get it. Her financial and work situations are tenuous. Anyone would be on edge. I'm trying to be understanding of this behavior, but honestly she's always been like this. The current situation has just made things worse.

Side note: Yes, she already had a knee injury, but this incident actually caused a new one. She had a meniscus tear that was repaired and now she has a piece of bone that chipped off and is floating around in there. So the dog did actually do more harm than just flare it up. But it still doesn't mean she gets to blame the dog every chance she gets. It's unreasonable. She's a dog, it was an accident, let that part of it go. What's done is done. You know?

Another side note: the same dog was also instrumental in breaking my finger. She got spooked and went into guard dog mode and took off charging at the people walking near the house at night. If I'd been paying more attention, I'd have had a better handle on her, but **** happens. Especially when you have a Great Dane that weighs over 100 lbs. I don't go around blaming her. She actually did what she was supposed to do, protect mom. She didn't harm those other people. She'd never intentionally hurt anyone. She just scared the **** out of them!

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[curley]

Originally Posted by Superheroine

She's so passive aggressive and unreasonable. If she wasn't also my best friend I'd tell her to stuff it where the sun don't shine. She makes me so angry and at the same time so upset and hurt.

One of our dogs accidentally hurt her by pulling really hard on the leash. My friend planted her foot and wound up hurting her knee so badly that she's been delayed in going back to work after a workplace injury to the same knee. She made (another) passive aggressive comment about how the dog is "costing her $800 a month" and I simply pointed out that what happened was an accident and the dog didn't mean to hurt her.

If looks could kill... She gave me this look like I was the most horrible person on the earth, scoffed at me, and said with such disdain, "are you serious?"

She ranted about her precarious work situation and then tried to make me feel guilty for having parents that can afford to help me in my much needed time of need. The decision to ask my parents for help was not an easy one, that's for damn sure, and she knows that.

She stopped talking to me and got up and went to bed while we were in the middle of watching a show without even saying a word.

All because I said the dog didn't do it on purpose??

I honestly do not know how to deal with someone who sees everything as an attack and is ALWAYS defensive. Her behavior really bothers me, but if I say something about it, I'm the asshole.

Sent from my D6503 using Tapatalk

My thought is your room mate already had a bad knee! If she knew she had the problem she should have just gone with the dog while telling him to heel or stop! My experience with people that are automatically on the defense is that they know they are wrong! Hey I could be wrong about that maybe she is just totally insecure. Im on your side, you are the the A-hole!