[NuckingFutz]

Well, I think I finally got over my last relationship. It's been about 2 years. While I was with my ex, I was diagnosed with bipolar...my ex was a nurse and suspected I might have bipolar.

We broke up for a lot of reasons, not just because of the bipolar. But I am in the process of applying for SSDI. My ex told me that if I got disability that we couldn't be together anymore (we were engaged at that point). She said that she wanted to date someone who was her "equal" meaning someone who worked for a living.

I've known people in my support group who were on disability and were in relationships with no problem. They do wonderful things with their lives even if they don't work for pay.

How/when do you let someone you might be interested in know about your illness?

All feedback would really be appreciated.

[sabby]

Hi NF,

That's always a touchy subject with a lot of folks. What to disclose, what not to disclose and if so, when.

IMHO, I think it's important first to get to know someone before disclosing any medical/emotional issues. I think having a friendship and a mutual respect for one another is important before disclosing such things. Like I said, it's my opinion. I'm pretty much an open book about most of my life. But I don't go telling folks I really don't know too much about myself.

I hope you can find an answer that you feel comfy with. There are plenty of good folks out there that don't care what kind of issues you have. They can be loving and understanding too. Hope you find someone soon!

Hugsss
J

[Wants2Fly]

Hi there -- Welcome to Psych Central. And bravo for deciding to get back out there and meet someone.

I don't have any tips at all about this. Perhaps people with similar issues will have ideas.

Good luck finding someone to love and who loves you.

[gostryter]

OUCH!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

no offense, but ....darn....there are no smileys where one smiley knocks out the other smiley....

she's not good enough for you!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm sorry if this hurts your feelings - obviously you cared for her....but


"equal" ........her "equal" .........would you not be her equal if you had a back injury or some disease like MS that prevented you from working?? mental illness is no different....either you love someone completely or you don't

as for dating - good for you! i agree with saubu2!! get to know the girl and let her get to know you a bit first. i mean you don't want to wait so long that she feels betrayed but it's not first date chat either. i'm sure you'll know when to talk about it.

you may want to think of what to say about your working though....most people don't approach a new date and ask for a medical history...but "so what do you do" is generally a first-thing-ya-wanna-know bit of info. do you say your not working....your in between jobs....your taking some time off....??? i don't know....

i'm a female btw and currently working...although i've been through quite a bit in the past couple weeks and missed a lot of work....so i might be finding myself unemployed very soon!!! ugh....i hate jobs!!! like working....just hate jobs!!! and the bosses that go along with them!!!!

anyway - my point - i can't really speak from a not working experience....plus i never date anyway...so i'm really probably the complete WRONG person to be giving dating advice!!!!! oh well....that's what happens when you post on forums....never know what nut will respond!!!

i just read that whole "equal" thing and one of my loose screws fell out!!!!!

best of luck to ya!!!!!!!!!