[Artchic528]

I am confused. I was regularly talking to this guy, and emailing him, and all that. Then he emailed that he had a high sex drive and how he was ashamed of it, and then I called him, we talked a bit, and then the pizza delivery guy came and I hung up. Then I sent him off an email the other night, and called him a few days later when he didn't respond or call for a few days (It rolled to voice mail) and now I want to call him again, but feel I might be acting too clingy or something. We talked nearly everyday for a week and now he's being silent. What happened?

Just remember that an internet thing isn't the real thing and to protect yourself

[Mondayschild]

The key to not acting too clingy is to not actually be clingy. You've only been talking to him for a week, don't call him or email him again until you hear back from your previous attempts.

Keep the tone in your mind casual. Also, stop worrying about how much he likes you,.figure out if you really like them. Don't lose yourself in the equation.


#Life is a beautiful lie#

[Prism Bunny]

Why did you ignore the last thread you made, Artchic?

Well, you have known him for a week, and he stated his libido (you did not state if he has a sex addiction) is high, and you disconnected (either through IM, Phone, Skype, Email) so you could eat. When you are socializing with others, and they open up about their private or even a dark side about themselves to you, and you hop off right after they bring it up, they feel disregarded. Especially online, where actions and words are regularly misunderstood, It shows a lack of empathy (or interest) on your part, even if by mistake. Now, if the relationship is stable and they know your character well enough, one could leave for a couple of hours and come back without a hitch.

Whether or not that he had intentions to have sex with you, I have no idea, but perhaps he found someone else. Again, I have no idea. The best thing to do now is waiting until he says something first, no contacting him before then. If he does not, then move on.

[John25]

He shared something personal with you but you broke up that convo because of a pizza delivery? It is possible that your reaction wasn't quite what he expected after sharing something personal with you. And he probably moved on. I think you should too...
Trying to keep contacting him won't help anything or anybody.

[divine1966]

If men don't call or text or email or otherwise regularly contact you, they aren't interested. It's no matter why. Simple

If men don't respond to your contacts, it's unwise to keep bugging them.

If men talk about sex before they even take you on a date, they aren't the type you should pursue

Did you talk every day because you called him every day? Or did he call? Or you took turns?

Talking for a week or even a month means nothing. Until you date in real life, refrain from getting too wrapped up in them.

You don't know him, you never met, he is a total stranger.

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[Artchic528]

We took turns talking, Divine. Prism Bunny, he has a porn addiction, much like myself.

I just looked through my emails and saw he responded to my last email, I just didn't see it right away. I responded back apologizing for being so insensitive about the things he said.

[divine1966]

I think it could be that he watches a lot of porn because he never been in a relationship. It might not be a true addiction. I would be more concerned why didn't he date or have relationship. It's unusual in his age but he might have a good explanation. I'd be interested to know if I was you

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[Artchic528]

Oh. About that. He's been in 4 relationships and has had sex with 3 of the 4.

[Tsukiko]

I thought you said he's only had online relationships?

[Artchic528]

I thought he did but most of his relationships were long distance so he spent a lot of time with them online. I guess I misinterpreted that from him.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Oh. About that. He's been in 4 relationships and has had sex with 3 of the 4.

Oh I thought you said he was very inexperienced and you have to teach him( which we recommended you don't do), in fact he had more relationships than you. Then you said he was nervous as it was his first this type of conversation with the girl over the phone. Why did he say that if he did have relationships, which obviously meant he did talk to girls over the phone? Makes me wonder if he is who he says he is. He kind of contradicts himself.

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[Tsukiko]

Edit: I was about to mention what divine said above. Something seems off about him.

[divine1966]

He also said he doesn't know how to proceed with long distance relationships yet most of his relationships were actually long distance. So why did he say he doesn't know how to proceed. He either is lying or is confused. What's up with phone calls going to voice mail.

Sorry my guts rarely lie to me, I'd be careful with this dude. Don't stop talking to other men. I wouldn't put all eggs in one basket so to speak. I don't want you to get hurt

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[Steiner of Thule]

This is the walmart guy?

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule

This is the walmart guy?

Yup.

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[Steiner of Thule]

Did he say why the others didn't work

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule

Did he say why the others didn't work

No. He didn't.

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[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

No. He didn't.

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I usually like to ask I think and find out how they go about it. Others here might disagree but I usually like to. If they aren't open about it then probably should bail maybe. He seems to be contradicting himself a lot about being new to it yet most of his relations in the past have been online yet has been hard to reach as well as if he is juggling girls or something so he leaves some girls on the backburner while talking with other girls to keep it simple to juggle.

Though that is concluding a lot from a little and might not be what is happening. I also wonder about if you didn't just conclude he was inexperienced based on his mannerisms and how he acted though if he said he was and then goes on to go about saying he's had 3-4 then yeah. Red flag. Subtle but still a little red flag. Then you have to choose to go about ignoring the red flag or bailing because of it. Which I've ignored red flags in the past with others and regretted it because over time more red flags usually start popping up.

I think what's important though is even if you feel desperate don't try to settle if red flags appear.

[Tsukiko]

It seems to me that he's mirroring what you tell him about yourself. The empath, being extremely introverted, having limited experience in relationships (though he story changed), being "addicted" to porn.

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[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by Tsukiko

It seems to me that he's mirroring what you tell him about yourself. The empath, being extremely introverted, having limited experience in relationships (though he story changed), being "addicted" to porn.

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Actually, he isn't mirroring me, but coming out to me about these things before I say stuff about myself and it just coincides with my life. So unless he is predicting these things about myself, before I even tell him, then I don't think he is mirroring me.

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[divine1966]

I hope it all works out. I don't want you to get hurt. I'd start talking to other guys at the same time. He doesn't seem to know when he can meet you and his communication is a bit iffy. He might be just fine but With him living that far away and other things, I
wouldn't stop talking to others in a meanwhile. Porn addiction is kind of bothersome too

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[Artchic528]

Okay, I just got some more clarifications from him. He's apparently "not yet over his ex". Whatever that means.

[divine1966]

Dang it. Typically it means " not ready for a relationship with no one else" or " hope to reconcile with ex" or who knows what else. Heck why even joining dating site. But at least he is up front about it.

On the other hand I did this kind of thing before too. Didn't think straight. Attempted to date right after 9 year long relationship. Was a very bad idea. I also dated right after divorce. Was also a bad idea

. My t recommends to wait a minimum of a year ( if it was serious long term relationship or marriage not just few dates). So how long has he dated her? And how long ago did they break up?

I once went on a first date and a guy told me right on a first date that he is in love with his ex. Ok man why not tell me that before the first date to save me time and baby sitter fee? I could be doing 100 other things now. Like stay home with my kid not waste it here with you. Gee.

What was the context that he shared that? Why did he bring it up?

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[Artchic528]

He said he didn't want to lead me on if things didn't work out, and that this girl sold her body for drugs and it really tore him up inside. I dunno....