Guy texts after month of silence.

Oh ok. Anyways not texting for a month is weird


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I agree, but now I have two guys I'm currently sort of juggling, trying to meet up with and all that. I am beginning to panic. What if they both want to get serious and be in a committed relationship with me? How can I possibly say no to someone? Am I such a horrible person for talking to two guys at the same time?

Virtually everyone doing online dating is talking to multiple people at once. Both of these guys are probably talking to other women as well. The likelihood that you will actually go on in-person dates with both guys, both guys like you, and you like both guys is almost zero. Most first dates with people you meet online just plain old suck. Having chemistry is impossible to tell online so, unfortunately, a lot of the time it just isn't there.

What is more concerning about your post is that you feel unable to say "no" to someone. What do you do in real life when you are not interested in someone? Do you say no? You must have standards and be able to tell who you are interested in and who you are not interested in. These guys should not feel interchangeable to you. You should get a sense for who they are as individuals and the ways in which you are (or are not) compatible with them. You should feel a sense of agency in who you date, and not just wait around for someone to say "yes" to you and then accept him (whoever he is).

I have turned down men before, usually with the age old "I'm just not interested in dating right now" spiel. I always feel just awful doing it. I guess I get that from my mother. She is a people pleaser, and wants to keep everyone and everything as peaceful and harmonious as possible. She herself, has trouble saying no sometimes too, and then gets overwhelmed by the all the responsibilities she's taken on.

Anyways, I can say "no" if push comes to shove, but I'd rather not have to say anything at all.

People who don't contact you after a long time usually means they had someone else they wanted to try first and it didn't work and they're moving onto you, option 2.

I, too, think that is the case, but want to give this guy a second chance. I guess I know what it's like not to get your number one choice and fall back to other options.

I met up with a guy from eHarmony once ... on our first "date" at a café ... he pulled out his iPhone that had him recording himself singing Elvis Presley songs on loud speaker on his phone.

Don't get me wrong. Nothing wrong with Elvis. But there was something very wrong with how this guy sings. Like the worst X-Factor audition. Whoever told this guy that he can sing throughout his life - shame on them . It was grossly embarrassing.

That's when I decided to run for the hills and gave him the "sorry, too early for me to be dating" story the next day.

Was he anything like this guy? worst american idol audition - Bing video

I had a guy reciting his poetry (BAD) out loud in the coffee place. It was bad poetry and bad date lol he also had dozen of roses for me. It was a first date. I had to cut a date short because my daughter was staying for sleep over at a friend and her mom called saying by daughter got really sick. So I was in a rush to get her and this dude said he is coming with me. No you not.

I had weird dates. There are so many weirdos out there lol

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My mom is a people pleaser too who believes everyone should put up with everyone one else. It is hard to learn how to say no to people if your mother never does. I hear you on this artchic

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You would be a horrible person sleeping with two guys ( unbeknownst to them), but talking to several people is what people usually do until they decide to become exclusive. It's also ok to go on dates with several people. I wouldn't worry about it. They probably talk to others too.

Honestly IMHO things like "I like two men the same and now have to chose" happens only in the movies. You'll feel something more for one of them. And you'll know who to choose

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I agree with divine1966. It is not horrible to be speaking with two guys at once.

Sure thing. I'd be interested in your list of what you're looking for in a guy, if you will share. (I'm sorry if you've posted it somewhere already.) How about what you don't want in a partner? I personally found this hard to define/describe clearly for quite a while. I could point to something and say I didn't like it, but I struggled to put words to it and to label my feelings.

Sometimes it seems very mysterious. I'm out there on the dating sites, too, and it seems I either repel people or get unsavory persistent ones who will be trouble. I find it very frustrating and fake.

I hear you. Sometimes it just has to burn out of your system.

I've heard from others that eHarmony is not very good, and I also hated the companion site. Very expensive, few results, and ridiculously restrictive when you didn't cough up the cash. I didn't think Match was that great either. There are other places that are free that allow you to have the ability to message people, see their profiles, etc, and you only pay if you want extra services. (And mental health problems seem to be an issue on the dating sites wherever you go. Being honest about not being full of rainbows and sunshine is like kryptonite to your chances. But what are you going to do? Ugh, it irritates the hell out of me.)

In the UK, they have sites for people with MI and other issues
Disabled Dates 4 U :: Find your Disabled Single Date Today
Do they have them in the US?

Hmm, not very many. I know of a couple, but there aren't many people on those sites and the profiles are rarely active.