Just found out my friend is a paedophile

I'm in total shock!

He's been off work for months and no one knows why but working from home. Everyone has been talking and thinking his depressed or attempted suicide etc.

My other friend text me earlier telling to google his name. I read the headline (first result on Google) and nearly threw up.

I'm shaking and don't know what to do. He's met my daughter

My mind is in turmoil.

I know this might not be the right place to post but its where I always post and get lots of help and support.

And I need that right now

Has your daughter had any contact with this person outside of your direct view? I hope not. You may need to call your local law enforcement and speak with them if there has been the possibility of inappropriate contact. Pedophiles come in a shapes and sizes. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this and I hope your family is safe. It goes without saying this person shouldn't be near your child. Good luck.

No not at all. I never let her out of my sight. Just make me feel sick to my stomach that he's met her

I'm glad she is ok! xo

Hedgeleaf I'm so glad your daughter has not been one to one contact with this man, although I understand the horrible feeling knowing he has met her.

A while ago I discovered a former friend (we had dated as youngsters) had been convicted of possessing imagery, I also felt sick thinking I had shared thoughts and feelings with someone capable of this. Many people close to him felt betrayal that he had done this. People have very visceral reactions to this type of crime and there is a good reason - as a species we have an inbuilt instinct to protect our young.

If you have people you can talk this over with then I'd recommend, that helped me. Post here if you need to vent it out.

Thank you for your reply. I just don't know how to be or what to think or do. We were only texting a few days ago.

I hope he gets the help he needs because there is something seriously seriously wrong in his head.

I've deleted him and blocked him from all contact and it makes me feel so sad

I believe I'd be floored too if I found out a friend of mine was a child rapist.

Pedophile and molester are such benign terms for the horrid things these people do to innocent children ... I believe you did the right thing by breaking the friendship as that will protect your daughter from being his next victim ... I also believe you need to go one step further and notify the authorities so they can make contact with this ex-friend as well, and hopefully that will also prevent him from harming other children as well.

A lot of child rapists will actually insinuate themselves into a single parent's life just so they can have access to their children, often marrying them and carrying on their vile criminal acts right under the noses and behind the backs of their unsuspecting spouses.

Atrocious & Despicable!

In the meantime, it might not be a bad idea for you and your daughter to see a counselor or therapist to help process what you're going through as I'm sure this has caused quite a shock and will help you sort it out in a positive instead of negative fashion.

Wishing you courage, hope and good healing.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

He was arrested and in court yesterday and let off with 30 hours community service and 5 years on SO register

I'd gone back and edited my post, so I hope you see it again ... I'm glad he got arrested and though I think that sentence is pure poppycock, at least it lets the SOB know that he's being watched ... If you want further empowerment, you might ask if it's okay to post flyers letting people that live near him know that they have a child rapist in their midst!

Again, wishing you courage, hope & good healing!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

Thank goodness you found out!!!! May he pay for his sins.

I say RUN!!!

Omg I am sorry you trusted someone like that

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If he is in the system hopefully he will get treatment, just got to put trust in the authorities that they will handle him correctly.

You must be feeling very shocked and sad right now but you have done the right thing IMO severing contact. I did not have to sever contact with the man I knew as we had already drifted apart, but I know if I saw him in the street I would cross the road to avoid him.

How terrifying for you! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this.

(((((Hedgeleaf)))))

The thing is, I don't know how to deal with it

You have made a start by cutting off contact. You reassured yourself that he was never alone with your daughter. You have asked for and gotten support. These sound like good steps for you! Do you have methods of self-soothing such as meditation, deep breathing, exercise, etc.? This would be a good time to use them and/or discover more, if you have not already done so.

Arranging to see a counselor could be another useful step, for discussing your feelings and deciding what to do next.

(((((Hedgeleaf)))))

Everything that disgusts or horrifies or makes me afraid to me is a weakness. I then seek to understand it so I am not so afraid.
This is my latest undertaking as I have children. Once you understand, your fear subsides a little. It won't go away totally, but it helps.
Am I defending them in any way? No.
I am just questing to understand.....I like to understand what I fear

I ran across this story and found it interesting

Inside Europe's biggest sex offenders' prison - BBC News

Thank you for the link I will have read