[Artchic528]

I just got a swimsuit today in the mail that I spent hours looking for on Amazon. I wanted a bikini style top and skirt style bottom. I also found a cut and color that I thought was very flattering on me and that I thought was absolutely adorable. I was thoroughly excited as I tried the suit on and the cover up I ordered that went perfectly with it. I was really excited. So much so that I showed my mother, who's response was to cringe at the site of the halter style bikini top. She commented that "you'll be fine as long as you wear your cover up at all times" and that "Plus sized ladies shouldn't show their stomachs like that".

I had severely struggled with accepting that I'm no longer going to ever be the 98 lbs I was in high school, now that I'm properly medicated, and that I am now officially deemed "plus sized" according to the fashion industry. I'm average, to be honest. Not toned and fit, not morbidly obese. I mean, my stomach doesn't hang down or anything, and I can wear stuff off a conventional store's rack fairly easily, though shopping for "plus sized" clothing is easier for me as it fits better. Besides, the swim suit looks cute on me and I feel sexy and feminine in it.

To be honest, I was tired of wearing tankinis and skirtinis and swim dresses all the time. I wanted to wear something that makes me feel like the young, vibrant and sexy woman I want to be. It's not like I bought a string microkini or anything, though, according to my mom, you'd think I did. It's just that I'm 32 and I felt it was high time that I shopped for myself without my mother looking over my shoulder and offering her "advice". I think I'm plenty old enough to do that by now.

EDIT: Here's what I bought, so you can see for yourself that it it's cute and tasteful. This is the top:

http://www.amazon.com/Kenneth-Cole-R...ilpage_o01_s00

And here is the bottom:

http://www.amazon.com/Kenneth-Cole-R...ilpage_o03_s00

[barbella]

Artchic, I am really sorry your mother reacted like that. It's really unfair and very narrow minded. I applaud you for getting a great bathing suit for yourself. I do not yet have the nerve to do that. I rarely wear shorts and am not even comfortable in short-sleeved t-shirts.
Personally, I think that was a really mean thing for her to say.

[Artchic528]

Yeah, well, I've come to the conclusion that my mother is kind of shallow. She spends her evenings after work watching those "housewives" shows and other various reality shoes like that. She's a good hard worker, and I think she means well, but yeah, I'm not letting her get me down. I'm just annoyed that she was so overly critical. She has always been that way, come to think of it.

Once, after I had done some serious face picking and left some pretty noticeable sores on my face (I have dermatillomania), she said I resembled "drug addicts who pick at their skin all the time". She wanted me to realize that what I was doing was unattractive and meant well, but she came off as rather rude and insensitive.

That's not the worst of it, she once told me when I was 14 that my butt was saggy and that I shouldn't wear the style of swimsuit I had been wearing at the time. I was 98 lbs...HOW ON EARTH CAN A 98 LBS, 5"2' 14 YEAR OLD HAVE A SAGGY BUTT? And she wonders why I secretly stopped taking my Abilify for a year and a half. I did it because I wanted to be thin again and get her off my back about my body (I had gained a good 3rd of my current weight after starting it).

Anyways, I could go on and on but what good does that do me now? I'm better than that, than her. I'm not having kids of my own so I won't have any opportunity to smack them around and tell them they are fat. I refuse to perpetuate the cycle.

[unaluna]

That's a cute suit.

You're far braver than I...I wouldn't feel comfortable in a two piece suit until I lost at least 60-70 pounds and had breasts at least 3 cup sizes smaller. I really feel uncomfortable with the world knowing how big and well shaped my breasts are so I keep them as covered as possible. It's only been in the last couple years I've felt comfortable wearing something as revealing as a one piece by itself (I always wore bike shorts over a one piece) because of comments/reactions to my thighs.

And the comment your mom made was just mean. It reminds me of the things my dad said to me and my mom about our bodies.

[Yoda]

I'll bet your mother doesn't know that a plus size model was featured in this years Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and she even made the front cover!

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by Yoda

I'll bet your mother doesn't know that a plus size model was featured in this years Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and she even made the front cover!

Wow! She's gorgeous! I'm impressed. Yeah, my mother gets her old fashioned ways from her mother before her. Grandma was one of those staunch and conservative catholic women. Just mention nudity around her and she'd purse her lips and go on about how sinful that was. I'd shudder to think what she would've done if someone talked about sex (heaven forbid!). I guess a bit of that wore off on my mother.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by unaluna

That's a cute suit.

Thanks. I think so. I'm pretty eager to wear it in public.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

You're far braver than I...I wouldn't feel comfortable in a two piece suit until I lost at least 60-70 pounds and had breasts at least 3 cup sizes smaller. I really feel uncomfortable with the world knowing how big and well shaped my breasts are so I keep them as covered as possible. It's only been in the last couple years I've felt comfortable wearing something as revealing as a one piece by itself (I always wore bike shorts over a one piece) because of comments/reactions to my thighs.

And the comment your mom made was just mean. It reminds me of the things my dad said to me and my mom about our bodies.

I have 38Ds, so my breasts aren't tiny by any stretch of the imagination. However, unlike you, I love mine. I've never been the kind to want to get attention for them or anything, but I don't hide them either. I'm pretty stoked about this swimsuit. I am going to get it tested out at my neighborhood pool soon, if not, I'll just hang out at my next door neighbor's pool that they've just had installed. They gave me an open invitation to use it if I wanted.

[newday2020]

That's a really cute suit!! Glad it fits cause it may be kind of hard shopping online for one.

[divine1966]

Love it! Screw critical parents. Wear swim suit and enjoy it.

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[SillyKitty]

If you like it, then you should wear it. I'm sorry your mother responded that way. It's a very cute suit!

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

I just got a swimsuit today in the mail that I spent hours looking for on Amazon. I wanted a bikini style top and skirt style bottom. I also found a cut and color that I thought was very flattering on me and that I thought was absolutely adorable. I was thoroughly excited as I tried the suit on and the cover up I ordered that went perfectly with it. I was really excited. So much so that I showed my mother, who's response was to cringe at the site of the halter style bikini top. She commented that "you'll be fine as long as you wear your cover up at all times" and that "Plus sized ladies shouldn't show their stomachs like that".

I had severely struggled with accepting that I'm no longer going to ever be the 98 lbs I was in high school, now that I'm properly medicated, and that I am now officially deemed "plus sized" according to the fashion industry. I'm average, to be honest. Not toned and fit, not morbidly obese. I mean, my stomach doesn't hang down or anything, and I can wear stuff off a conventional store's rack fairly easily, though shopping for "plus sized" clothing is easier for me as it fits better. Besides, the swim suit looks cute on me and I feel sexy and feminine in it.

To be honest, I was tired of wearing tankinis and skirtinis and swim dresses all the time. I wanted to wear something that makes me feel like the young, vibrant and sexy woman I want to be. It's not like I bought a string microkini or anything, though, according to my mom, you'd think I did. It's just that I'm 32 and I felt it was high time that I shopped for myself without my mother looking over my shoulder and offering her "advice". I think I'm plenty old enough to do that by now.

EDIT: Here's what I bought, so you can see for yourself that it it's cute and tasteful. This is the top:

http://www.amazon.com/Kenneth-Cole-R...ilpage_o01_s00

And here is the bottom:

http://www.amazon.com/Kenneth-Cole-R...ilpage_o03_s00

^^^ How you feel is all that matters. Wear it well, tear it well (one of my family's expressions). Especially because you need to be on your medication, which caused the weight gain, that was super mean of your mother to put you down over your weight. If the stomach isn't hanging, I see no reason not to wear the bikini.

I think it's wonderful you have embraced your body and have a healthy self image. Great for you. I am jealous.

I am putting weight on around the middle but would still like a two peice. My problem though is I have awful stretch marks (thanks to a 12lb baby) which I am more self conscious about than my size. Thus, I stick to my speedos and tankini

[Mondayschild]

That's a really cute suit!!!

#Life is a beautiful lie#

[Yoda]

Artchic, I saw this and thought of you

[Monarch Butterfly]

It's a cute swimsuit. I'm sorry you're mother was critical. Rock that suit and wear it proudly! Have fun at the pool.

Love the suit! Who knows, your mom may be jealous! Ignore her and enjoy your new suit.

[barbella]

Wow, I love it!! Did you get it in 'Ocean Blue'? I say wear it!!

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by barbella

Wow, I love it!! Did you get it in 'Ocean Blue'? I say wear it!!

Yes. I got it in that color. Now my mom is complaining about how I blew through my money buying it. You can't please this lady.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Yes. I got it in that color. Now my mom is complaining about how I blew through my money buying it. You can't please this lady.

Swim suits aren't cheap. What does she think they cost?

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[A Red Panda]

Financially she quite possibly has every reason to be upset with you.

How much do you give her for rent? Utilities? Internet and phone? Food? Gas money? Etc. Especially if you compare how often you will be using the swim suit.

If you look at it from a logical and financial standpoint, was it a good decision or should the money have gone elsewhere?

[Burnt_Out]

Artchic, my two pennies: Rock it. You seem like the criticism gets on your nerves, but at the same time you seem confident and comfortable in your own skin.

The whole beachwear etiquette thing is nonsense. Even if you did look bad in a swimsuit (which I highly doubt, a lot of us are fine with thicker girls), it's not like you alone is going to bring the aesthetic curve of beach America down. I recently went on a cruise and there were a lot of people (particularly older) that weren't exactly making the pool areas a beauty contest. Fact is, most of us are some distance from the ideal, myself included (sorry no six-pack, ladies) and a lot of casting goes into episodes of NCIS: Miami to ensure a "fatty" isn't on the beach... or anyone over 40... or kids... Your mom needs to get out more, perhaps.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

Financially she quite possibly has every reason to be upset with you.


How much do you give her for rent? Utilities? Internet and phone? Food? Gas money? Etc. Especially if you compare how often you will be using the swim suit.


If you look at it from a logical and financial standpoint, was it a good decision or should the money have gone elsewhere?

I didn't look at it this way. I just bought a swim suit and even on sale it cost an arm and a leg. I am a spender so I don't judge other spenders. But it's different if you live rent free. I sure hope op doesn't live rent free

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