[Macd123]

Okay so I went on a dinner date - first time in eons. Really nice having somebody across the table �� So things are actually going pretty well and the conversation is flowing pretty good and I start thinking maybe I'll get a second date! But wait, about halfway through our dinner she mentions that she was going to Vegas to see her best friend. So I said oh that's great and I said I didn't care for Vegas (really don't!). I didn't really pursue the Vegas thing until she brought it up when we were having coffee. I asked about her friend and she said it was a guy that she had just started seeing and she really liked him ☹️ I took the high road and asked about what he did (yikes!). Anyway, I felt used and very lonely once again. I don't know why she agreed to go out - I guess because we're friends. So all through dinner I started having these ridiculous visions of what our second date might be - it ain't gonna happen! So $80 later I'm home alone again starting from scatch. I gotta tell ya I think I have my own special kind of hell - onward!

[divine1966]

Wow. Sucks. To all honesty if she went out with you as a friend not a date why wouldn't she pay for her dinner? Gee. I would feel used to! How do you even know this woman?

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I'm sorry it didn't go as you hoped.

[ptangptang]

Hmm, I'm sorry it was so disappointing. There was obviously a misunderstanding. She thought she was just meeting a friend and you thought it was something different. Unless she made up the Vegas thing just to put you off but keep you as a friend. Did she offer to split the check. If she didn't then I don't blame you for feeling used. There is a difference between generosity and being taken for a mug. I know the feeling. I wouldn't think much of a friend wo expected me to pay all the time.
You have your travel meetup group to look forward to.

[Macd123]

I asked her out so I paid. No she didn't offer to split. I've known her for a while (she's my neighbor) and have talked to her a lot. I knew she had gone to Vegas a couple of times but I didn't know she was seeing somebody there. She told me she wasn't sure of this guy (what?). It kinda took on a surreal feel after the Vegas discussion - like the universe was screwing with my head again. You know people are so sinister - they preach the gospel then spit nails in your face. Whatever! Thing is she seemed so nice......Amen.

[divine1966]

That's bizarre she didn't offer to split a bill. Kind of rude on her part

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[Crazy Hitch]

Did you call it a "dinner date" when you asked her out for dinner?

Seems to me if she was bringing up this other guy, and mentioned she's seeing him, and has feelings for him ... ughhh it sucks and I'm sorry it happened.

But.

She was being honest, albeit not what you expected or wanted to hear.

She's a neighbour and probably saw you as a friendly person to hang out with.

[Macd123]

Yeah well I'm not too devastated but a little disappointed - I had big plans for us

Goodness me, so sorry Mac - IMO she should have split the bill.

A friend of mine had something similar happen, he wasn't sure if he was on a date or not, turned out he wasn't, these things can be open to misunderstanding but at least that woman paid her way!

[seeker1950]

Well, I can top this. I'm female, btw, and had a dinner date with a guy I met on Match.com. He sat over the surf-and-turf crying (really crying) over his lost love! I ended the night by saying goodbye, a little kiss on the cheek. He was so incensed that I didn't invite him up to my house for sex!, sending me a lot of nasty emails afterwards.

[Macd123]

Well I did something similar because we went and had coffee afterwards and I paid for that. She also showed me a picture of her and her boyfriend together - she looked better in the picture. I don't think she put a lot of effort into the date - she was very casually dressed and had her hair up. Also, she had her arms folded most the time -I felt like a criminal a little bit. Additionally, I did most of the work of keeping the conversation flowing - it was a bit awkward.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by seeker1950

Well, I can top this. I'm female, btw, and had a dinner date with a guy I met on Match.com. He sat over the surf-and-turf crying (really crying) over his lost love! I ended the night by saying goodbye, a little kiss on the cheek. He was so incensed that I didn't invite him up to my house for sex!, sending me a lot of nasty emails afterwards.

Yes I had a date like this. The guy says he is still madly in love with his ex and he will never love another woman. Not kidding. Yet he was mad that I didn't want a second date!

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[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Macd123

Yeah well I'm not too devastated but a little disappointed - I had big plans for us

I'm sorry this happened. I understand disappointment but I would say that it's probably kind of overthinking it if you had "big plans" or even anything beyond finding out if she was worth dating on a first date. Try to be realistic, I'm not saying that to be harsh, I mean, not judging, I can see myself doing this too but I also know that if I keep my head about things, I would be more objective about the first date itself and try to keep in mind there isn't anything there to plan anything for the future but possibly a second date...

don't give up. out of dating, I'm sure there could be a number of single dates before you find the one that you hit it of with. Not many are lucky enough to have it go great so quickly anyway.

[seeker1950]

You do realize, MacD, that the internet dating thing is a "meat market." If the girl had been interested in you, at all, she would never have brought up her boyfriend. This was pre-planned on her part. She was sizing you up! As a female, I know and have experienced such, but maybe you are just learning, eh?!

[imarae]

So sorry it didnt turn out as expected, dont feel to bad i had a similar experience where a guy took me out on a date to then tell me he was in a relationship. lol. good luck in the future you will find a good woman.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by seeker1950

You do realize, MacD, that the internet dating thing is a "meat market." If the girl had been interested in you, at all, she would never have brought up her boyfriend. This was pre-planned on her part. She was sizing you up! As a female, I know and have experienced such, but maybe you are just learning, eh?!

I think he said that this was a person he's known for awhile, not met on match or other online dating service.

may have been mixing this thread up with another.

[divine1966]

Yup. This lady is op's neighbour. He asked her out which was a brave and overall a good idea but it turned out she didn't think of it as a date ( yet allowed him to pay for her dinner which I think it's kind of rude of her ), this has nothing to do with Internet dating.

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