i'm removing my name from the story here to prevent myself from getting upset, but this is what it is:

person #1 (p1) is on ssi and has severe anxiety attacks so she does not work. person #2 (p2) is p1's family member. p1 lives with p2 and pays $350 per month, the amount they agreed on. p1 only gets $733 per month. before she moved in, p2 was aware of p1's condition and that it would be difficult for her to work or find available housing. p1 has her own room which she is supposedly renting. p1 keeps to herself in her room and does not bother the family.

p1's bedroom does not have a door, only a curtain. p2 comes in the room without knocking. p1 has insomnia and struggles to sleep at night, so she often naps during the day. p2 does not allow p1 to nap and wakes her up whenever she does. p1 gets upset about this and p2 says that p1 is not allowed to sleep duing the day when living in her house. p2 owns 4 dogs who are rescues and very messy, they chew things up, pee and poop on the floor and knock things over. p1 tries to clean up after the dogs but it is difficult and p1 herself would never choose to own more than 1 dog for this reason. p2 gets angry at p1 for not properly cleaning up when most of the messes are caused by the dogs. p1 has a fan in her room and when p2 leaves for work at 6:00 am she comes in p1's room and turns off the fan for no reason.

p1 does the dishes once a week and has offered to do more, but p2 and family do not take this offer. p1 has also offered to pay more rent because she has lived with less money before. they also do not take this offer. p1 cleans up after herself as in the messes she makes, but finds it difficult to keep up with cleaning the animals. p1 is searching for her own place.

is it unreasonable for p1 to ask for privacy and to be allowed to nap when she is paying rent?

by the way, these rules were not established when p1 moved in, p2 decided over time what she would/wouldn't allow p1 to do.

i'm very sorry if this is confusing, let me know if you need me to add real names or something....

[Trippin2.0]

P2 is being unreasonable.


Firstly, you don't get to dictate when a person sleeps, that's just abusive, secondly P2 did not stipulate that the dogs would be P1s problem...


I think P1 should speak up and have a mature discussion with P2 about the lack of privacy, sleep and abundance of dog shyt.


Also think its wise that P1 is looking for other accommodation.

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

P2 is being unreasonable.


Firstly, you don't get to dictate when a person sleeps, that's just abusive, secondly P2 did not stipulate that the dogs would be P1s problem...


I think P1 should speak up and have a mature discussion with P2 about the lack of privacy, sleep and abundance of dog shyt.


Also think its wise that P1 is looking for other accommodation.

yeah when p1 has tried to talk about it p2 has threatened to kick her out

[amandalouise]

Im sorry but only you can answer your questions as to privacy and such.. you see in life there are three sides to any situation...

the side of p1
the side of p2
and the side that takes into consideration of p1 and p2 (otherwords the actual situation minus each persons mind interpreting the situation with emotions and own experiences.)

Since I am not p1 nor p2 and am not a neutral witness to what is going on I can not say whether one way or the other on issues with p1 or p2,

i can only go on what only one party to the situation has posted either p1 or p2 based on their own interpretation of how they (p1 or p2) see the situation.

what I can tell you is that you do have some options...

P1 and P2 can sit down together and discuss the situation between them
or

since the one having the problem (P1) has a financial income they can choose to not discuss the matter and just go on with life as is

or
since p1 has a finacial income of their own they can choose to move out on their own by their self

or
since p1 has a financial income of their own they can choose to contact services like adult protective services, churches, section 8\hud and other community services that can help them to find their own place with in their financial means for example a one bedroom apartment or motel room or a larger place with a different room mate where the rules and boundaries are discussed before moving in together.

ultimately only p1 and p2 can say whether something is wrong in this friendship\living together situation since they are the ones in the situation.

sure online we can take \pick a side based on our own personal views of what we would like to happen should we be in that situation and based on our own locations rules and such for two parties \friends living together but only the ones in the actual situation can decide based on their own situation\friendship and living arrangements that we on line may not be privy to, knows.

now ...if this was me in my own location.. and I was in this situation I would save my money, contact adult protective services and other community agencies and find my own place rather than losing a friendship by fighting over what what someone can do in their own home, especially if my friend was the first one in the home or owns that residence I was being allowed to rent a room out of. I value friendships over fighting with friends.

as for the sleeping issue I go through insomnia also and there are some great meds and other options that allow me to get a good nights sleep without sleeping my days away rather than enjoying time with my friends during the day time. not saying you should take meds and do the things I do just saying sometimes sleeping during the day actually works against someone who has sleep issues and treatment providers can help with that.

so for my suggestion on this that the one having sleep issues might be able to contact their own treatment provider to find ways that will allow them to get a better night or days sleep.

[divine1966]

If person is paying mutually agreed upon rent then the person can nap all day. It should not concern anyone. I wouldn't clean after people's dogs at all. Person might offer to do more other chores such as daily dishes etc instead. It's probably better to start looking for different accommodations or renting from other people. It seems that person 2 just wants person 1 gone and is looking for excuses

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[Trippin2.0]

Agree with Divine, P2 seems to be going out of her way to make P1 miserable, maybe so that P1 will leave without being kicked out, which means P2 doesn't end up looking like the bad guy.

I agree with Trippin and Divine. P1 is being treated very unfairly. Can P1 move out?

[BipolarMama31]

I agree with everyone. P2 is not being fair.
I get that its family and things can get messy between family.
When i rented a room from a family member we agreed to an amount , which i paid every month on time. But then i was asked to pick her kids up from school or take to guitar lessons etc. That was not part of the deal.

When i had a family member end up staying with me years later, i drew up a contract saying you pay x amount and this includes room , private bathroom and shower, and 1 babysitting day every monday from 8 to 5. Etc. And it was clear where communal space was and clear where private space was.

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Look at other options, like house sitting or living on a houseboat or try Camelot (there must be a US equivalent) or social housing or even a squat, some are viable alternatives when you look into them in detail......

[divine1966]

If you are on SSI apply for subsidized housing. Sure lines are long but eventually up will get it and those are typically pretty nice apartments

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Originally Posted by rainyday107

I agree with Trippin and Divine. P1 is being treated very unfairly. Can P1 move out?

"p1" is on the waiting list for subsidized housing but the shortest list is 6 months long. there are some available places in other states, so that may be what has to happen-someone checked my credit and it was only 300 and that is low i think. these places do a credit check, does that mean they will not rent to someone with a low credit score?>

p2 has said that she is angry that p1 got approved for disability and she didn't so she has to work while p1 sleeps all day...but both p1 and p2 were denied benefits the first time. the difference is that p1 got a lawyer(she was 18 years old and hospitalized long term at the time) and p2 chose not to bother with it.

the explanation for not being allowed to nap is, "normal people don't sleep during the day".

p2 has a history of trying to normalize p1.

[divine1966]

Yes 300 is the lowest one can possibly have and I am not sure one can even have it that low. Even if you ( hypothetical you) just had bankruptcy or house foreclosed or never had a credit card or never paid on any of your debt you still might have above 300. Does p1 know why it's so very low?

P1 would need a cosigner to get an apartment

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Originally Posted by divine1966

Yes 300 is the lowest one can possibly have and I am not sure one can even have it that low. Even if you ( hypothetical you) just had bankruptcy or house foreclosed or never had a credit card or never paid on any of your debt you still might have above 300. Does p1 know why it's so very low?

P1 would need a cosigner to get an apartment

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i (no point in hiding anymore) had many student loans from when i went to school, and i had 1 credit card before.

are there people who cosign for a living, like from the state? i have no friends and you see how my family is.

i have seen some apartments that do not do a credit check, those are not available right now though and have a big deposit amount anyway

[Bill3]

(((((P1)))))

[divine1966]

I think the only people who would cosign are the ones who know you. I can't imagine strangers doing that. But just go fill out applications and maybe you don't need a cosigner.

Student loans shouldn't effect your credit scores much. You might need to talk to someone how to improve your score.

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Originally Posted by divine1966

I think the only people who would cosign are the ones who know you. I can't imagine strangers doing that. But just go fill out applications and maybe you don't need a cosigner.

Student loans shouldn't effect your credit scores much. You might need to talk to someone how to improve your score.

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yeah i didn't know if there are lawyer type people who do that publicly

sorry, no one ever taught or explained this stuff to me so i dont know anything about it. maybe i could have done something and didnt know it would mess up my credit score. i didnt even know what a credit score was until i was 20

[divine1966]

Do you have a case worker or a psychiatrist or a therapist who can help you with figuring things out?

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Originally Posted by divine1966

Do you have a case worker or a psychiatrist or a therapist who can help you with figuring things out?

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yeah my caseworker is the one who helped me check the score and they looked for apartments for me and put me on the list...

tennessee is really bad with housing and mental health care which is why it would be a better idea for me to find a place outside of the state. then i would have to get a new caseworker doctor and therapist and all that but if it is better there it would help.

ive been trying to get this one apartment in ny to answer the phone for a few days, i hope they will soon.

[divine1966]

Good luck

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[~Christina]

I live just south of Nashville and Yes there is a huge problem with people finding affordable housing across the board. Get yourself on all the lists that you can as for addl help with housing and medical care.

((( hugs)))