[UCLAFan]

This song by Kelly Clarkson. Reminds me of most of the relationships with family members. Growing up it was all about my mom and others. Plus whenever i tried to express my feelings. I was told to shut up and at times got hit for crying or talking.So now i'm an adult and have problems expressing my feelings.Plus issues trusting people.Some times i can't listen to this song without crying.It hits home. Especially the part about that says i'm forced to make a smile.My family forces folks not to be able to be themselves.They act like everything is right when it's totally messed up.So if anyone is not smiling all the time they become hateful and deny stuff.I have a tendecy to smile. Even though i'm not happy half the time.Because i'm afraid if i express myself.I will get misstreated like i have by my family.I was talking to my T one time about stuff that was bugging me and she said do you know that you sound upset but still smiling. She said because i smile even when i mad.People will not take me serious when i'm trying to set boundries.But i don't know any other way to act.It's fear and a nervous habit. "Because Of You"

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
[Because Of You lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

[sabby]

((((((((((((( UCLA )))))))))))))

I understand where you are coming from. I see a lot of families like yours....have been told since childhood to "grin and bare it". To an extent, it can be good to do that at times, but for most of us, expressing what we feel in the proper way is very important to our emotional health.

I hope you can work to find your healthy way of expressing yoru boundaries and feelings without "showing" a different face. I know it's hard to unlearn a behavior but it is possible to unlearn one and learn new ones. I wish you well!

Hugsss
sabby

[UCLAFan]

It's hard to change.I tend to hold my feelings in.Then when i do expressing my feelings.I almost lose it.

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((((( UCLA )))))))))))))))))))

Hugsss
sabby

[UCLAFan]

Thanks Sabby. ((((((Sabby))))

[MyBestKids2]

((((((((((UCLA))))))))))

When I hear this song, I scream the words in my head, until I can't "scream" any louder.

[meander]

(((((UCLA))))))

[UCLAFan]

Thanks everyone. I apperciate it. Mybestkids i pretty much do the same thing.