Communicating with authority

DBT has a section in it that specifically deals with Interpersonal Effectiveness. You might want to google that & read & pull up the workbook sheets on it. I found it to be very helpful in learning how to better communicate with others. For me, after a lifetime of fighting with parents & my H that I finally left....I had a whole lot of learning I needed to do to learn how to communicate with NORMAL people once I was finally away from all the dysfunctional people

Thank you. That is a good idea.

If your "therapy" had not changed or improved your self esteem and self respect (which is why the kids and animals don't listen), then you may need to look for other forms of therapy or a better therapist.
IMO, that's because you don't take your self "seriously" but it can be improved at GOOD therapy.

IMO, that is all about FEAR - which will set your dog off and turn off the kids as well. I had a lousy childhood and am AFRAID to hurt kids so I rarely play with them. I am, oddly, very in tune with and get along with ALL animals.

You probably go from "too soft" to "too hard" since folks raised like us do not know the middle ground and are usually operating from one extreme or the other in relationships.
There's your answer!

IMO, it does hurt them but they have a high tolerance and he probably sees you as insignificant or a phony. Why do you need to hit him at all? What does inflicting pain ever teach anyone?

I'd go looking for another therapist!

I assume that your therapist had told you this but, learn to speak up because suppressing your thoughts and feelings can have horrifying consequences later in life. You seem to be doing well so, good luck.

Thank you for your reply. You are spot on about fear of hurting the kids - it's much better now, but I have been afraid of that for many years. And not knowing a middle ground - I do tend to live in the extremes emotionally.

I am doing well, however. I just lose sight of that fact sometimes. Get discouraged, focus on the things that are still wrong instead of the progress that has been made. Therapy has been tremendously helpful for me - no doubt about that. My life was a complete mess 2 years ago, and much has changed. But confidence is one thing I still lack. I've even been told that that's the one thing that's keeping me from being put into a supervisory position at work. My therapist has worked with me to try to build that. There are extenuating circumstances at home, however, that undermine my self-confidence. Learning to establish proper boundaries is a slow and scary process. It's a struggle, but things are improving. I guess I have to keep focusing on that and not let the little things like the dog or kids not listening to me get me down.