[LaBlueness]

I have been in a LDR for two years now and my partner suffers from a lot of things such as anxiety, insuffient sleep, very irritable, emotionless, hopeless, etc. The list goes on. The symptoms have yet to be diagnosed. Yesterday, I addressed certain things that have been bothering me recently. They said that it's hard for them to truly feel emotions and said it's not healthy for the relationship or their mental state. I am about to attend college in a few days and they have concerns about that. We originally wanted to move sometime next year but neither of us have jobs or enough money to saved right now. Now, the distance will be extended for another two years and I feel horrible about extending it but it's for good reason. What should I do?

[Crazy Hitch]

Your partner doesn't feel emotions? Pardon me for totally disagreeing because you've mentioned so many there:

Irritable
Anxiety
Even feeling hopeless is a negative emotion.

Who is "they"?

What, exactly is "them"? (Hard for them to truly feel emotions)

I don't know enough to comment either way about your studies.

[Bill3]

What is their concern about you attending college?

[divine1966]

IMHO going to college and advancing oneself in order to be successful is way more important than maintaining relationship with obviously very negative person. Why are you in relationship with him/her? And why he/she doesn't have a job? Is he/she in school?

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[LaBlueness]

Originally Posted by Bill3

What is their concern about you attending college?

Possibly cheating on them in college and "college culture."

[LaBlueness]

Originally Posted by divine1966

IMHO going to college and advancing oneself in order to be successful is way more important than maintaining relationship with obviously very negative person. Why are you in relationship with him/her? And why he/she doesn't have a job? Is he/she in school?

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I am with them because we formed a close bond months prior to dating and they made me feel so loved and important. I love taking to them. They don't have a job due to their current mental state. Working right now would make them really anxious or stressed out or both. I'm trying to find a job right now. They were in school but started homeschooling because school work would stress them out so much.

[divine1966]

Is this person a school student such as high school? So he or she is a minor? If their mental state is so bad they might need to focus on improving their life before considering dating long distance. Do their parents know? Why aren't they diagnosed?

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[healingme4me]

Have you met this person, yet?

Will the amount of time invested in them, is there a chance this could distract you from not your studies but in making new friends and exploring hobbies?

"Investigate your hidden assumptions."-Cornel West

[s4ndm4n2006]

Yeah I'm confused. When you say they are not working due to mental state I assumed an adult partner but homeschooling implies high school or younger age, yet you're talking about college. This is not about age but I am just going to assume you're both young and base this on that.

I have been in a LDR for two years now and my partner suffers from a lot of things such as anxiety, insuffient sleep, very irritable, emotionless, hopeless, etc. The list goes on. The symptoms have yet to be diagnosed. Yesterday, I addressed certain things that have been bothering me recently. They said that it's hard for them to truly feel emotions and said it's not healthy for the relationship or their mental state. I am about to attend college in a few days and they have concerns about that. We originally wanted to move sometime next year but neither of us have jobs or enough money to saved right now. Now, the distance will be extended for another two years and I feel horrible about extending it but it's for good reason. What should I do?

I'm not sure what the "what should I do" question refers to. Is the question related to whether or not to go to school, to stay or leave the partner, move...? I don't know how to answer that because I'm not sure what you're asking.

They say they are unable to feel emotions but as someone else stated it's clear that they do feel emotions. I can understand them saying they feel detached at times, have a hard time feeling empathy or compassion or that their emotions are flat sometimes but they are far from emotionless.

Lastly I would advise you, even if you are not asking this, you can disregard. This is clearly a person that has not been able to work due to mental issues. Cannot go to school with others due to social and/or mental issues. You are speaking of moving with this person and haven't even finished college. There is nothing wrong with you choosing to be with this person but I thought I should make you aware that going forward, do you realize you'll likely end up being the one to carry much of the load of financial security in both of your lives and possibly in other ways too?

If you're both young I think that you both need to find your own stable footing before making plans like moving away and such together.

[Bill3]

Possibly cheating on them in college and "college culture."

How much (if at all) do you share their concerns?

Going to college is a great time for personal growth, in my opinion. It's an excellent opportunity to focus on yourself, what you want for your life, etc. Most don't have the responsibility of being a spouse, caring for a child, etc., it is a time for YOU.

I broke off a LDR that was getting serious in a long term commitment sense. He was older, wanted marriage and was prepared to move where I was located. I was heading off to college locally and I didn't want to be tied down. It was a bold move, as I cared about this person, but I've no regrets. I wouldn't have had the time of personal growth described above. I wanted to be free ... it didn't really have much to do with dating new people. I just felt it was important to be free.

Just my experience. I wish you the best.