[fosterthehuman]

in the beginning of my relationship w/ my bf. i would stay at his place a lot, and i remember him saying that he would be sad when i moved into my new apartment. so months go by and i'm still usually over his place. but we had issues in the relationship and there were times where he would yell and scream at me and call me names and stuff basically he was verbally abusive and he's still working on it but sometimes during our arguments i would tell him that i should go stay at my place, or i brought up a couple of times that eventually i should start sleeping at my place more to him. but i kept staying over his place and one night it got so bad that i left him didn't talk to him for almost a week. but we got back together weeks later and at first he was like "we moved in way to soon together" and i thought that too. but i got so used to being around him that when we got together again, i did the same thing and stayed at his place. but then money got tight on all of us (it's his mom's place btw) and there was a time where he told me that i can't keep using so many resources of his (food, transportation, ect.) and i was like okay i'll help you guys out more and i won't even be here that much. but i stayed over more cause i got depressed again and didn't want to sleep alone anymore and then i had a money issue and had to ask him for more rides and stuff. now i think he's tired of me, and plus he's been angry still and yells at me. it's gotten worse cause now he's smacked me in the face twice and pushed me on the couch during some of our fights (he never really did that before). and sometimes now when he's upset at me cause i did something, he'll say that i'm being punished for what i did so i can't stay at his place (his mom's) but hours later he'll say he just needed some space and that i should stay at my place. but when he's yelling at me, he'll say, you could have stayed at my place and everything would have been cool, but you ****** it up. and he'll make it seem like he wants me to stay. idk i'm just so confused. could i have some advice? what can i do to better this? i feel like i caused all of this and if he wants space that's fine, but then he'll call me and say he wants to pick me up idk

plus not too long ago, i had a huge money problem (i accidently had been using credit for a couple of months, thinking i was paying debit, idk how it happened. i never receieves a credit card so i never knew i had one and i took money out of it not knowing smh) and so for a few weeks, my bf was helping me , like letting me stay at his place again and ect. i would always just do my laundry there, he drove me to and from work back to his place which is 20 mins away, he lets me eat the food they have there, and his couch that he sleeps on isn't that big so it pretty much squishes us together so i understood sometimes when he would ask me to sleep on the floor.

yesterday, we went to the movies but when i tried to buy my ticket at the machine, my card got declined (this is the second time i've done this in a month but the other time i was by myself cause i didn't check it and my roommate had just deposited a $70 check i wrote him a few months back. so my bf had to pay and he was like "i don't want to go return our tickets cause that'll be embarrassing" i felt dumb. like i couldn't do anything right, and honestly i can't do anything right. my bf was like "how could you not know that he was gonna deposit it? did you just think he was going to keep it?" i got upset and started arguing with him. ik i was being rude. i said "sorry for being poor" in a sarcastic way and i also walked out of the movies to go to the bathroom but i didn't tell him where i was going so he thought i left and texted me asking if i did, i texted back and told him where i was but by then he said he already returned the tickets and was about to leave and said that i can find my own way home. so i ended up taking an uber (i don't have a car) to his place cause i still had to get my stuff and then when i got there i was like "can i get he rest of my stuff out of your car?" and he was like "hold on" and i was kind of irritated and was like "you told me you wanted me to leave so" and he just kept telling me to wait, then he hugged me and we made up somehow and at first he was like "i can take you home tonight, or i can drop you off tomorrow, let me know what works for you." and i stayed over. then he did the same thing again, we literally went to the movies again to try to reconcile things but during the movies i told him i was gonna go to the bathroom, then i texted him in the bathroom and said i'm gonna go ahead and call my dad. and after the movies, i asked him what he was doing cause i thought he was looking for something. and he got upset and said why can't i just be normal and go with the flow and he just took me to work and said that i'm staying at my place tonight cause i don't know how to be a normal person, he's told me that he's sick of me, when he's angry and when he's not angry. and now i feel useless.

he picked me up from work and took me to my place. and some of my stuff was packed. i asked him if this was still a punishment and he said no. he said he just needs space cause i've been stressing him out. and that i need to take care of myself. he was like "i wanted a gf not to be someone's personal assistant" i started cyring in front of him. and he was like "i'm not breaking up with you." ik he wasn't. i just didn't know what else to do. then when he tried to hug me i put my hands up and backed away a little bit. idk why i just felt so numb. idk. and he was like "you're pushing me away, why do you do that" i feel worthless. and the thing is, he's right. i've been so depressed that i wasn't taking care of myself properly. i did take advantage of him and his mom's livingg situation. i need to learn how to handle money better. i caused a lot of this. ik and he knows that he shouldn't get that angry and that he doesn't mean to put his hands on me or yell but honestly i made it really difficult on not only just him but his mom as well. ik i already ****** a lot of things up but is there any possible way i can change? maybe become better? i would like some advice and it hurts but i need to hear it.

[Trippin2.0]

You do know you're in an abusive relationship and asking how to fix it right?


The answer is to leave.


And also look into free or cheap therapy because clearly you need some help since you think being smacked around is your own fault.


Seriously run.


The longer you stay, the worse this becomes, nothing you can say or do will EVER make him treat you better.


I know.

[Deeplyhurt77]

I definitely agree with the above post. Run..Leave..you don't deserve a man that treats you like this ,then you get depressed and blame your self. His excuse of punishing you is just ubsurd!! Only parents punish. He's a big piece of sh**! Your arguments will only become worse. He should not belittle you Or put his hands on you!! Your relationship is combustible...Get Out🤔

[Talthybius]

It is also bad to punish a child. What's bad for your spouse is worse for your child. The child doesn't have the option to leave and is more imprintable. For example, males, or females, that his their partner probably have been hit by their parents.

[s4ndm4n2006]

it's gotten worse cause now he's smacked me in the face twice and pushed me on the couch during some of our fights (he never really did that before).

I read this far. Don't really need to see how much more happened. You don't live with him, you are in an optimal position to quit the relationship. Leave before it does (and it will) get even worse. Before you succumb to the weakness whatever it is that keeps you coming back for more and end up moving in with him and are really stuck. Please, there is nothing to redeem or fix in this relationship. He is through and through a horrible bf and abusive af.

Get out of the relationship now as others have said here and work on yourself. find your own strength and independence and seek out help to find out why it is that you would even find a person that is abusive worth your time or energy to be with. I think workin on those things I just mentioned will put you in a far better place to find a proper bf/mate.

Hope this helps.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Yea leave asap! This man is manipulative and very abusive. And yea you shouldn't be at his moms using their resources if their money is already tight, unless you're pitching in. That doesn't matter though. This man is a vile abuser and you need to run.

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End it. It's abuse.

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