Too Influenced By Others

My mother used to scold me about how I 'would listen to the last person who blew in my ear'. That's why it's so hard to make the tough decisions about my life. I am swayed by what each person says.

Is that a symptom of anything?

My coda sponsor used to tell me my mind was so open the wind blew right through it. This was before any mental health diagnosis. I relapsed into codependency and married an alcoholic. It could be a sign of codependency .

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"Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity and under achievement."

I had to look up codependency- I guess my marriage is codependent with my h being the one who enables me the above problems, and I have done everything for him so that all he ever had to do was go to work. I didn't have poor mental health and addiction in the beginning, though...but that developed as a result of being with him and unable to form a healthy bond.

I've always been an under-achiever considering I am very bright and capable. I always thought I had ADD and blamed it on that. Plus, anything I ever really wanted to do, I did fabulously! I am highly achieved at under-achieving!

If I had a dollar for every report card that said "T would be an exceptional student if she would only apply herself."

I would recommend looking up al-anon online and going to a local meeting, also talking to a therapist about codependency. It can be worked on in therapy . I'm not sure if it's a part of PTSD or a PD but it's a symptom of one of the two.

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When I make big decisions in life I tell NO ONE until the decision is made and actions take place. If I first shared with others they might influence me, which might prevent me from doing what I need to do. So I do first and share the results later. When decisions are already made, others can't influence me.

I think getting influenced by others might come from certain type of upbringing. But regardless of where it comes from, my coping strategy is making decisions without consulting with others ( I don't mean not consulting professionals like doctors or my accountant, I mean friends and family)

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