[Christopher1990]

I am turning 26 next month, and lately, I have been feeling quite lonely. I can't seem to find a job, I'm in search of a gf, but no luck, and on top of all this, it seems like all my friends have disappeared. This seemed to happen slowly and gradually. My best friend since like middle school hasn't been returning my calls and texts. We were always tight and got each other. Last time I saw him was on parade day and after that I kind of spiraled out into a deep depression which I was in and out hospital for almost 2 months. I didn't talk to anybody during this time. I got out talked with him for a little, and were supposed to meet up the next day, but never heard from him. It's been a few months since I last talked to him, and I don't know why he's ducking me. He's always been cool with my personal ****, and I don't think that's reason. I'm going to try and get him today, and if he doesn't answer I'm going to leave a message. I understand he might be busy with work and school, but I don't think it's an excuse. Maybe, I am mispercieving this, but I have to clear things up.

My other friend, I haven't seen since new years. We used to go golfing once or twice a week, and now he's got a real job, but I guess he's doing his own thing. I asked him to go golfing a few weeks back, but never got back to me. I had one more friend I used to hang with and he's just weird and I don't bother anymore. We play basketball together, but that's about it. Besides these three friends I have one more who I'm cool with, we play basketball together but haven't gone out in a while, but he also has a gf. It's just weird because we all stopped hanging out. We used to all go out to wing night and occasionally do something on weekends.

I'm ready to find some new friends and maybe even move to another state. It's just disappointing seeing all my friends split. I know people grow apart, especially in our 20s but there's those few friends I thought I'd never loose. I have my online friends, but I need some irl friends ya know.

I don't know what I'm asking for, just some advice I guess.
thank

Sorry to hear that your friends are drifting away from you. Friends tend to come and go out of peoples lives sometimes for no apparent reason. It hurts, but sometimes people would rather do the slow fade than tell you that things aren't working out anymore.

It sounds like your friends have been to busy with their jobs and their relationships to have time for you. If this is something they just started doing, then cut them some slack and give them some apace. I don't think that they don't like you anymore, it's just that they need to focus on their lives more at this point.

I have to say though that one friend of yours who decided to not contact you again after you got out of the hospital sounds like they're not much of a friend to me. I could never call anyone a friend that would ignore me after I got out of the hospital. It sounds like you need better friends.

The best thing to do IMHO would be to go out and try to meet some new friends. Join a meetup group. It's free to join. You can even start your own group, but you'll have to pay a monthly fee for that that. There isn't anything that you can do but wait for these other friends of yours to become available. If you contact them to much, you'll appear to needy and clingy, so just go meet new people for now.

If they call you and ask you to hang out sometime, great. If not, well, then move on. Remember, it's not you, people just tend to outgrow each other sometimes. Also, it'd probably be a good idea to NOT tell people about your mental health issues in the future as a lot of people do judge others for having issues even if they seem OK with it.

That's just been my personal experience most of the time. People are weird like that. And the worst thing is that most people will probably write you off as being "crazy" instead of trying to even understand anything about the issues that you have.

[Talthybius]

Well, if a friend of yours has a GF, it is only natural for him to not go out to do silly stuff or chase girls. Can you adjust to their new idea of friendship?

You say you were in the hospital for 2 months (for mental health issues?). Sounds like your (old) friends had no idea about this. I understand there is some shame involved here, but if one of the three people still wanted to be your friend, they would have come to visit or reached out to you and they may be irked to learn that you were going through a very hard time, but you didn't tell him.
Yes, also likely that learning about your despression&hospitalization would be a conformation for them that they don't need you in their life anymore.
I wouldn't tell it to new (candidate) friends.

You say that you thought one of your friends could keep up with your 'personal ****'. If you know too many people whose friendship with you involves mainly they talking to you about their problems, it gets annoying and it is not surprising to trade out/abandon a friend.

The healthiest friendships are equal, where both give and take the same amount.

[Trippin2.0]

Blink 182


Sorry your friends have bailed, I have no advice though, I've had mine since forever... Just wanted you to know I hear you and I hope you make new (better) friends soon.

[Christopher1990]

well, i left my friend a voicemail and we got together today and had a great time. turnz out it wad nothing personal he wasnt talking to anoyone he said. and he apologized for not answering.And shy I dont tell most people about bipolar, but these friends know and they dont care. I wouldnt hang out with anyone or consider them friends if they cared about that ****. but im glad i didnt loose this friend

I'mglad itworked out with your friend

Also...ihave this song in my head now....

[Christopher1990]

what the hell is add? my friends say i should act my age whats my age again? whats my age again loll