[MusicLover82]

I have always had heterosexual relationships with men, and I am married. I also have bipolar disorder and OCD. Lately my OCD is flaring up, and it is making me obsess about the possibility of being attracted to women as well as men (being bisexual). The thoughts come and go, but I am 100% certain that they are OCD, not real attraction.

Recently, I have made friends with a woman who I think very highly of. She is extremely accomplished in our field of expertise, talented, and intelligent. I feel honored that she has decided to be my friend. We spend quite a bit of time together, and sometimes I feel nervous around her when I am hypomanic and/or slightly anxious. Sometimes I obsess that maybe I have a crush on her. I have no desire to have sex with her or kiss her, but I do regard her highly.

Anybody know what having a "girl crush" means? I feel silly feeling anxious around her at times. Is there anything to be concerned about spending time with her, when I am married? I don't want to "emotionally cheat" on my husband and end up valuing my time with her more than I do him.

It's probably nothing to worry about, but I just thought I'd see what you guys said. Thanks!

[mindwrench]

I am a male, and consider myself heterosexual. That said I have encounter a few men in my life who I felt a special connection to, much in the way that you describe. I too felt confused by it at the time. My own guess for me is that I have a unmet need for certain kinds of relationships with certain kinds of people and it triggers the same emotional response as a women would even if it is a man that I get along with that well. I don't know if that helps or makes sense.

[divine1966]

I don't know about girl crushes as I never had any but is there anything to do for your OCD? Therapy? Meds?

[TishaBuv]

I've had girl crushes that are non sexual like you describe. It's cool, enjoy it. I've even told the other women and we giggled about it. It just means you really admire her and are attracted to her in a way you just really like. Like you'd like to be her, or you just feel giddy and in awe of her because she's so awesome. What's wrong with that?

Even if there's a sexual attraction, even if something romantic and sexual should develop mutually... I feel I've been open to exploring possibilities... But, they were all just friendships in reality and nothing bad came of them.

[YOLO Lady]

I can totally relate as I had a girl crush like you describe that lasted for a couple of years. The woman was about 10 years older than me and was my boss and then my former boss as she left the company. She was a really awesome person who in my eyes had it all: A super personality, a beautiful face and figure, and obviously accomplished in our field since she was my boss.

I thought the world of her and obsessed about her ALL OF THE TIME in terms of thinking about her and thinking about talking to her about certain things. (I do NOT have OCD) We were super close and confided in each other a lot about the men in our lives. She was in the middle of a divorce and had started seeing someone else and I was single but doing a little dating. We shared many intimate details about these relationships over these 3 hour dinners that we'd have where we would top non-stop.

Unfortunately, my story does not have a good ending. All of a sudden she pulled back and refused communication and even blocked me on facebook! I was devastated.. Luckily she had already left my company so I did not have to worry about running into her. All along I had been talking about this relationship with my therapist who told me that she thought that my friend had pulled away because she had overshared some really personal details and was embarrassed.

It was super hard for me to move on as I felt like I had been dumped just as if it were a hetero-sexual relationship. I can not believe how much I talked about this with my Therapist both while we were in it and afterwards.

Regarding the sexual aspect, there was really none as we were both heterosexual, but I do remember one time when we were super connected where I was depressed over something and pictured her giving me a hug and me resting my head on her breast similar to how a mother would hug a child. But that was it. I was never close to my mother and my therapist surmised that it was because I was seeking maternal comfort from her.

Good luck and enjoy the relationship. I think that your relationship with your husband is safe. Maybe share this with him so that you don't feel like you're emotionally cheating?

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by YOLO Lady

I can totally relate as I had a girl crush like you describe that lasted for a couple of years. The woman was about 10 years older than me and was my boss and then my former boss as she left the company. She was a really awesome person who in my eyes had it all: A super personality, a beautiful face and figure, and obviously accomplished in our field since she was my boss.

I thought the world of her and obsessed about her ALL OF THE TIME in terms of thinking about her and thinking about talking to her about certain things. (I do NOT have OCD) We were super close and confided in each other a lot about the men in our lives. She was in the middle of a divorce and had started seeing someone else and I was single but doing a little dating. We shared many intimate details about these relationships over these 3 hour dinners that we'd have where we would top non-stop.

Unfortunately, my story does not have a good ending. All of a sudden she pulled back and refused communication and even blocked me on facebook! I was devastated.. Luckily she had already left my company so I did not have to worry about running into her. All along I had been talking about this relationship with my therapist who told me that she thought that my friend had pulled away because she had overshared some really personal details and was embarrassed.

It was super hard for me to move on as I felt like I had been dumped just as if it were a hetero-sexual relationship. I can not believe how much I talked about this with my Therapist both while we were in it and afterwards.

Regarding the sexual aspect, there was really none as we were both heterosexual, but I do remember one time when we were super connected where I was depressed over something and pictured her giving me a hug and me resting my head on her breast similar to how a mother would hug a child. But that was it. I was never close to my mother and my therapist surmised that it was because I was seeking maternal comfort from her.

Good luck and enjoy the relationship. I think that your relationship with your husband is safe. Maybe share this with him so that you don't feel like you're emotionally cheating?

Maybe she pulled away/blocked you (an extreme act) because you meant more to her than you know and she decided her feelings were so unhealthy that she chose to go no contact.

My best friend from age 2-19 'dumped' me and I didn't think I ever did anything to deserve it. She said that I reminded her of a part of her that she never wanted to think about again as she had now grown and was a changed person. Like she was a drug addict who had to go no contact with everyone who she did drugs with. Even though, the really bad things she did, I did not cause her to do or do with her. I still really hurts and I miss my old friend.