Not Making Enough Time for Me Or Showing He's Interested

I work in the music industry, as in emailing people, I never go out with these people, a lot of them work in different states, countries, and musicians don't want me as far as dating ha!

He never suggest anything, every time he brings up something he wants me to go over to his house to see his place and watch TV, when in reality it means HE WANTS SEX AND TO FOOL AROUND.

1. I am not ready to fool around. 2. I am not ready to go to his place.

And if a guy likes you, and wants to date you, he will do anything for you. Thats what all my ex's did for me.

Although it's possible that he just wants to fool around, you can't know for a fact. I've been to guys homes early on in dating, and they made zero move to have sex because they respected me.

Why wouldn't anyone in your field want to date you? You're clearly passionate about music, so that's at least one strong common interest you'd have.

You're wrong about saying that a guy will do anything for you if he wants to date you. Not to the extent that you're wanting. Maybe you're exes did.... And they're exes. Something obviously didn't match up between the two of you.

You're being totally unreasonable in the demands you're making. What do you like about this guy when you seem to want him to change completely to fit into your mold? If you like him, then start to accept him as he is. Mutual respect and acceptance go a long way.

Does that mean that if you like a guy and want to date him, you'd do anything for him? Even sex and fooling around?

could you contain this rant to one thread? it really is all the same....

It's clear that you feel very strongly about this and it is getting to you. You are desperate for some clarity which is why you are posting several threads on him. But really you are presuming that he wants sex, maybe he does, you know him and we don't. You shouldn't expect a man to do anything for you if he wants to date you, though. You hardly know him. He has a life as do you. He can't just drop everything at the last minute. You need to compromise. If you can't then there is no point in continuing the relationship. It's that simple.

It's a good question, though, would you do anything for him? If not you should not expect him to do anything for you.

I would do anything for him. I do anything for anyone. I go out of my way for people. I drop whatever I am doing for people.

Maybe boundaries are an issue for you, it's okay to say no with kindness in a healthy relationship.

I found this article helpful, perhaps you might too:

10 Way to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries | Psych Central

I just want to find a guy that will accept me for me, like me for me, and pays attention to me, wants to hang out with me, wants to go out on dates, talk to me on the phone or video chat, shows that they do like me, as much as I like them. And all I am getting is guys talking to me a little bit here and there and then they stop and then I have to be the one to do all the talking and move making it sucks.

I hear me me me , which is fine... although very emotionally unhealthy for you.

Sounds like you are desperate for attention, why not work on yourself and learn how to be okay and enjoy life whether a guy is in it or not.

I would bet that you completely overwhelm all the guys you have met with this type of behavior. Of course they don't want to deal with it / you and rightfully so.

I don't think it's all the guys problem, I think you want too much way to fast.

Just my opinion based on all 7 threads you have going now.

Jmho of course.

Women have been fighting equality for decades. If you want a guy to treat you right and if you want to find Mr. Right, don't stand around and let the men come to you. And don't date guys just so you can go to concerts. That is why men stop talking to you, because you are forcing them to fit a square in a circle. Not all men are the same just like not all women are the same.

You are pursuing this guy for all the wrong reasons. You know he's not good for you, so why are you boo hooing that you're trying to make a Ken doll out of him and it's not working? You gave up on the metal heads. Why? They have similar interests as you, and I bet my money you won't date them because you don't want to ruin that circle of friends you have by dating in that circle so you stay away from them. You want someone to go to concerts with, find someone who enjoys going to concerts. Make an OKCupid site and state your interests.

After reading through your posts here, it sounds (to me, and I could be wrong) that perhaps you may be a little too aggressive when you are trying to get to know a guy.

1. How often do you try to contact him? A couple of times in a week, or a few times each day? If he doesn't reply, how many times will you keep trying to contact him?

2. When you do talk/msg with him, are you asking him about himself, his day, his likes, what he would like to do if you go out, etc., or do you spend this time telling him about yourself what you want?

You want too much too soon. After few dates you want the sun and the moon. Slow down

Okay as of right now, I am talking to 4 different guys. 1 guy I have been dating for 2 months. The other 3 I have just been talking and getting to know.

One of the guys I just started talking to this past Wednesday he contacted me first emailing me, and then I texted him on the phone after reading his email. So from there it went from
2PM to 3:30PM we texted on the phone then switched over to Facebook messaging from 3PM to 7:30PM we talked that way. The next day at 9AM I messaged him twice by 12PM he replied and we talked from 12PM to 12:30PM. Then around 4:25 to 4:40PM we talked and it is now Friday and no reply to my last message since yesturday. I have not contacted him at all today and he has not contacted me at all. I want to wait and see if he replies to my message from yesturday. Or do you think I should message him, asking him again?

As for the other guys, 1 of them always messages me. And the other guy, I was the one to message him first, and text him first.

I usually contact these guys once a day and await a response if I don't get a response that day, I will send another message that same day and see if I hear back, sometimes I do. But sometimes it waits until the next day. Yes I do ask him about his day, likes, interests, etc. But then sometimes they reply to that or they don't reply to it.

We go back and forth talking about different things.

I am on different dating websites ok. I have found 2 new guys I am really clicking with, they are the one's not talking back. I gota message them to get them to talk to me.

This is what I told one of the new guys I am talking too and getting to know - "Anyway are you looking to date and for a relationship and all that or no? Why did you reply to my post. What are you looking for? I want to be sure we are on the same page here, before going any further ya know?"

I sent him that message yesturday Thursday at 4:30PM and it is now Friday at 4:30PM and no reply from him. So I don't know what I did wrong, or why he can't reply to that message. Should I message him again and ask him again or leave him alone or what?

This guy is everything I want in a man I want this guy and to date him BADLY.

It sounds very desperate and needy and I wouldn't reply to such message either.

Also do you not work? Do they? That's awful amount of messaging to strangers. During work day. Do these people work?

Yes they work, but not sure on the hours or what days. Its like come on if you can sign on social media and be on social media for a few hours you can reply to a message. It only takes a few seconds to reply.

So what should I do just leave the guy alone and NEVER get an answer to my question or message him and say "Hey How are you? Hope work is going well." and just ignore what I asked him?

They are not interested. That's why they aren't replying. Yes if they aren't replying, you should leave them alone. Keep massaging them isn't going to make a change

Well what if they are busy working? Then they can't reply back. It just hurts me so much that when I first talk to someone new, we can talk for hours straight and then the next day comes, and the chat dies down.

If they are at work and can't reply then you shouldng be upset about it. Are you in therapy? I recommend it for you

I don't need therapy and yeah your right I just have to wait and see if they reply back. I just don't like being left hanging or wondering if these guys are interested or not. I keep getting hurt this way and it sucks.

You need to post on the PD boards.

The reason they are no longer responding very likely has to do with the intensity and volume of your messages. I don't mean for this to come off as judgmental, but you seem kind of desperate-- and that tends to send people away. Try not being so available and coming on so strong so early. I also do online dating and I can say from experience that those are the kinds of things that push me away. I was actually just dating someone for about a month and I chose to end it because she kept pestering me when I was at work. She would text me while I was working and expect me to respond and then ask me to leave work early to hang out with her or ask me to stay out too late when I had work the next day. If someone doesn't respect my needs or the seriousness of my job, I can't have them in my life. It's possible that these guys are also busy working and find your attitude that "it only takes a second to respond" inconsiderate. Or, if you feel you need someone who is that available, then you may need to find someone who only works part time or is independently wealthy.