[LiteraryLark]

I have been reconnected with a friend from high school. We had sex two years ago, but when I found out he was only enjoying being single, I was upset because I had thought he wanted to be in a relationship. It's kinda happening all over again. He has just gotten out of a relationship for a few weeks now, and I was the first person to message him to hang out. We go hiking often and we text every day, and we got to talking about sex and it turned him on. My parents are going away on vacation which is the perfect time for him to come over, but I don't want to be put in the situation where we have sex and he only wants to enjoy the single life while I want to be in a relationship with him. Don't get me wrong, he's an amazing guy. He's funny, he's polite, he treats me to meals and pays the bill...he's a full-on gentleman.

But if we have sex I don't want it to be a one-time thing. I really don't know what to do. I want sex, but I want the whole relationship package and it seems every time I see him he's either in a relationship or single and loving it.

What do I do?

[unaluna]

Get steve harvey's book about act like a lady, think like a man - and he says dont give away the cookie for 90 days!

[Yoda]

Be honest with him about what you want at this time in your life. It isn't wrong to want a friend with benefits but neither is it wrong to want a relationship. Different people want different things. I hope you can find a person who wants what you want.

Yes I agree, talk this through with him. You can only find out what he wants by talking it over.

Nothing wrong with fwb, but if you want more and he doesn't then you will be disappointed.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

I have been reconnected with a friend from high school. We had sex two years ago, but when I found out he was only enjoying being single, I was upset because I had thought he wanted to be in a relationship. It's kinda happening all over again. He has just gotten out of a relationship for a few weeks now, and I was the first person to message him to hang out. We go hiking often and we text every day, and we got to talking about sex and it turned him on. My parents are going away on vacation which is the perfect time for him to come over, but I don't want to be put in the situation where we have sex and he only wants to enjoy the single life while I want to be in a relationship with him. Don't get me wrong, he's an amazing guy. He's funny, he's polite, he treats me to meals and pays the bill...he's a full-on gentleman.

But if we have sex I don't want it to be a one-time thing. I really don't know what to do. I want sex, but I want the whole relationship package and it seems every time I see him he's either in a relationship or single and loving it.

What do I do?

So get that on the table from the get go. Tell him what it is you expect with regards to sex. Say no to sex if he wants just sex without strings. I am one that does not think that sex can be easily disconnected from an intimate relationship in the first place, so I do understand your perspective. I do realize there are a few that can have sex unattached, I'm just saying it's not easy to do and for me not desireable. @others please understand I am not judging except from my own personal standpoint and what's right for me.

Back to the point, just get it out in the open that you don't want sex unless he wants more with you and then stand firm on it. If he continues to pursue the sex without a relationship I would completely move on as he will just be a thorn in your side at that point.

[SvanThor]

I prefer the single life because that way I don't have to make any commitments (no, I am not afraid of commitment) before I am ready.

[nicoleflynn]

Respect yourself and your body...sex is the most intimate thing we can share with another human. Sounds like you both want different things; don't let him talk you into something you don't want. Unfortunately, he may lie to you (telling you what you want to hear) so he can have sex with you.

[LiteraryLark]

I feel so stupid and angry. He's not even interested in sex with me.

[Bill3]

How did you find out? Given that you two spoke about sex before, it must have been shocking and quite upsetting to learn.