[Rhapsody]

Ok - I have a problem here with "Nudity in Movies" and with my Family (boys) / Husband seeing this when they go to the movies, I personally do NOT prefer to see Rated-R movies with nudity in them due to the way it makes me feel inside.... and I do believe my feelings might mainly be "due to my religious beliefs" mixed with sexual abuse as a child and my husbands past porn addiction (porn is over with now, but lasted for 10 years & it greatly effected me).

I am looking for input on if people think "nudity" is OK for viewing (or) if our unapproved opinion of "nudity" is more related to religious up bringing..... as I am having difficulty with my husband seeing other women's breast / naked body in Rated-R Movies and I wonder if it is more of an issue of mine due the teachings I have been taught in Church? - or maybe some thing else, like the past.

I am interested in what both Religious and Non-religious people have to say on this subject...... please explain your answer of "Yes or No" in more details - share with me your thoughts as to why or why not you approve of it.

I am trying to change those things I must and yet I want to hang onto those things that are a part of ME and that do NOT need to be changed no matter what another person may feel or think about it.

What do you all think - am I over reacting to this issue or NOT?

How would you go about dealing with this issue with your own family if you feel as I do, for your last child will soon be 18 come next February and your husband and oldest child is already an Adult.
... and while I cannot control what they see as an Adult out side of the house - I am growing tired of the fight over what comes into the house (movies & games).

* * * * * * *

Thanks for the Input..... I will be sure to read, listen and ask questions.

[MyBestKids2]

IMHO I despise nudity in movies....

But, its all about me and the various "things" that have happened throughout my childhood and adolescence. It doesn't have anything to do with religious beliefs.

I took the kids to see "Wild Hogs" a time back. When David H. Macy jumped into the creek showing his shiny hiney (as my daughter puts it) I thought I was going to get physically sick.

My husband says I'm a prude when it comes to things of this nature. I would try to adapt better, if I could...

Dee

[gostryter]

hmmm....

well...i'm a Christian - though not overly conservative...

i don't know that i have a huge problem with some nudity...i think the bigger quesion for me comes to play with the content surrounding the nudity...

for example - if the movie is a love story and has a little nudity that's respectful...i'm not sure i have a problem

but if ...take for example the movie Indecent Proposal w/ Demi Moore....a married woman agrees to have sex with another man for $1 million...nudity or not - i personally found that movie obscene and highly objectionable!

so i guess that's where i'm at on nudity...i mean the body is the body...you can go to a museum and see classic nudes...is that bad? i don't know...

now with respect to your family - i think it is very important to voice your opinion. you have a couple of sons who need to understand it is incredibly important to respect a woman's body, that all women do not look like actresses and they need to know that what is portrayed in movies is not real life. with respect to your husband - tell him how you feel. it's hard to go to a movie anymore w/o nudity...perhaps you could ask him to look away out of respect for you? that would be a comprimise maybe you could both live with?

now about what comes in to your home...as far as your not yet 18 y.o. son - mom's house, mom's rules....especially with those insanely violent video games!!!

i guess when it comes down to it - your sons and husband are grown men. they have a right to make their own decisions. you have a right to express your opinion.

religious convictions are important and you should expect your family to abide by them at least inside the home.

but you are right to be concerned that your abuse is playing into this as well. my mom was molested and as a result taught me that all men are bad and not to be trusted...well it worked...i'm a 32 year old virgin living alone....

one thing for sure....you don't have to change what you choose to watch...if you are not comfortable with nudity then by all means do not watch it and your family needs to respect that!

well...that's my 2 cents...

[seeker1950]

Rhap and Mybest..
I am bothered by it too, especially when presented in an erotic manner for sexual thrill.
Growing up, we were not even allowed to watch tv shows where people were kissing! LOL! I guess that's why it makes me uncomfortable.
On the other hand, nudity presented in an artistic manner, I am not offended.
I just rented the new DVD relaease of 300, and was looking forward to it, knowing it was based on the historical battle of the Spartans and Persians. It is pretty awful. I expected it to be violent, and that doesn't bother me as much as the erotic sexual displays. Not necessary for this story, and I'm disturbed knowing my middle schoolers are watching it also!
Patty

[Rhapsody]

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mybestkids2 said:
I took the kids to see "Wild Hogs" a time back. When David H. Macy jumped into the creek showing his shiny hiney (as my daughter puts it) I thought I was going to get physically sick.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

OK - Now that movie and its brief nudity did not effect me any - I even laughed at it and looked at my husband with a little Ooops did you see that Look..... we both laughed.

What bothers me more is the naked body of a Sexy Actress involved in a sexual love scene and the camera is always showing off her perfect breast and firm body during the entire love making scene..... makes me nervous / fearful / sad when I watch it with my husband - but I am fairly ok if I was to watch it with a female friend or sister, or even by myself (I know they are not lusting or having thoughts about her).

I don't like the thought that my husband is seeing another's woman's body that he finds (may find) more attractive visually than he now finds me.
... and I was taught as a child and as an adult, in church, that we are not to look upon the naked body of another that is not your spouse, for it is a sin per God.

[Rhapsody]

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seeker1950 said:
Rhap and Mybest..
I am bothered by it too, especially when presented in an erotic manner for sexual thrill.

I just rented the new DVD relaease of 300, and was looking forward to it, knowing it was based on the historical battle of the Spartans and Persians.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I too feel the exact same way about nudity...... but I often wonder if my view point is wrong, if I need to make some changes?

And it is funny or strange to say the least - that you brought up the Movie "300" - for that was the movie that brought this discussion up for me.......
My husband had taken our 17 year old son to see it (with out checking on it first) and now he is talking about wanting to get it from my brother when it gets it so they can watch it again, for the two of them just loved it....... and I said: Haven't you two already seen enough of another woman's boobs (and) that I did not like the thought of my husband looking at / being able to look at another's ladies naked body.

Hubby replied..... that he could not even remember the scenes with the breast in them for that is not what he went to see the movie for, and I believe him - I just don't like the thought of what he was able to see.

[Rhapsody]

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gostryter said:
hmmm....

well...i'm a Christian - though not overly conservative...

i don't know that i have a huge problem with some nudity...i think the bigger quesion for me comes to play with the content surrounding the nudity...

for example - if the movie is a love story and has a little nudity that's respectful...i'm not sure i have a problem
.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I agree with you here and I can handle it some times with my husband by my side when it is done with love & respect, but lets face it most Rated-R Movies with sex and nudity in them are not done that way or for that reason... most are very racy and very sexual in nature, for that "Oh Baby" response - the kind that can leave a tingle in your pants.

[Direction]

Nudity in any form is very triggering for me, so I didn't read any responses...but I do not believe it is good to have husband and sons view nudity...

I deleted most of my response as it was getting long winded. Short version...My decision is due to exposure to nudity when I was eight years old. Now I know that is an extreme age and may not apply to your situation.

However, I still believe viewing nudity in any form has a detrimental effect on the intimacy between a husband and wife (so do the racey novels that are produced). It also, will have an impact on your son's future marraiges.

In my situation it wasn't a choice...they have one...at least it appears they do.

[Rhapsody]

Dear Direction.......

I too feel as you do on the subject of nudity, but sadly enough I have met one to many males that do not and I personally think is due to the fact that they (males) like what they see, therefore, they tend to over look any faith base reasons against viewing nudity or even the fact that it upsets their wife or g/f.

... I was exposed to nudity and sexual abuse at the young age of 2 yrs old - it lasted until I was 12 yrs old.

* * * * * *

NOW.... is nudity wrong (to us) due to the fact that:

1.) We have been sexual abused, therefore, it effected us negatively?

2.) God said it is wrong, therefore, we should not look upon such things?

3.) It can damage a persons mind or marriage over time? - male & female.

I don't see much reason for the nudity. To me, the most romantic and loving scenes don't need it.

I am more offended by casual and irresponsible drinking, smoking, casual drug use, casual sex, and mindless socially irresponsible lifestyles portrayed in movies.

[bebop]

personally I don't mind nudity too awful much but at times it kind of hurts me to think my husband might wonder what it would be like to have me look like that.
I am a religous person and the bible says it is wrong. I do agree that it should not be a family thing to watch those type of movies.
I would not permit my sons to see it in my house no matter how old they are living in my home.
if it is a true love story I don't think I would have a big issue with just me and hubby though. we don't watch stuff really that has it in there. we are a little house on the prairie and waltons type home lol

[meander]

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Rhapsody said:

NOW.... is nudity wrong (to us) due to the fact that:

1.) We have been sexual abused, therefore, it effected us negatively?

2.) God said it is wrong, therefore, we should not look upon such things?

3.) It can damage a persons mind or marriage over time? - male & female.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I imagine there's something of all those things going on.... I'm not personally bothered particularly by nudity, I don't mind my bf watching it, sometimes I do think it's kinda gratuitous tho.

But I was never abused, and I can only imagine how upsetting it would be for you. So if you don't like nudity for this perfectly valid reason, I think your husband should try to refrain from it for your sake, or work out some kind of compromise with you.

As to the religious issue, I don't believe in the Christian God and prefer to come to my own conclusions on issues like these, but if you feel it is against your religious convictions and your own moral code, then certainly don't feel pressured into dropping your standards! If you believe God exists, then surely you should live in a way consistent with those beliefs, so far as it doesn't harm others, and your family should respect that.

I don't honestly know about damaging minds or marriages over time- maybe only if there were issues there already? Like lack of trust between partners in a marriage maybe leading to one getting jealous of the other watching nudity? I don't think it could cause it on its own but possibly..

So in conclusion, altho I'm not bothered by nudity, I think you are perfectly justified in the way you feel, and I think your husband should respect that. I'm not entirely sure if it's enough to ban him from watching nudity, but it doesn't sound like you're doing that at any rate.... hope this helped

[skittles]

a little nudity doesnt bother me at times... but sometimes when me and my b/f r watching a movie together and theres nudity of female it makes me annoyed... i look at him and say do u you have to look at that..... u want her more then me huh.... of course he says "no."....... but i cant help to think he does...... for those actresses have nice slim bodys and perfect breasts .... makes me sick....

[asylumgardens]

It doesn't really bother me that much, but then again I'm not married and don't have a boyfriend. I do get embarrassed watching movies with nudity with other people, though. I don't know why. I don't think anything is inherently wrong with it, though. Husbands and boyfriends can lust over fully clothed actresses just as much as nude ones, they just have to use less imagination with the ones that go nude.

[Rhapsody]

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skittles said:
a little nudity doesnt bother me at times... but sometimes when me and my b/f r watching a movie together and theres nudity of female it makes me annoyed... i look at him and say do u you have to look at that..... u want her more then me huh.... of course he says "no."....... but i cant help to think he does...... for those actresses have nice slim bodys and perfect breasts .... makes me sick....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I hear you......... and I too have said those types of things to my husband when a sexy half dressed actress comes on the TV from the show we have been viewing and he looks - he is doing better now, he will look away when their attire (or lack of it) is way out there and might just get his pants a stirring - if you know what I mean.

FYI - You know I never felt sick or jealous of another female until after My husband went through his lusting / porn addiction stage for 10 years.... now I can seem to get rid of the fear of beautiful sexy females, my fear has lessoned over the years with work, but never the less it is still there.
.... a part of me hates my husband for creating such a fear in me.

But over all my husband is considerate of my feelings toward racy shows seen at home or at the movies, but he does have his own set of "viewing standards" that he will fall into if I am not around - I try not to ask.

He is careful to be watchful for to much raw sexuality when young ones are around...... I still have to work on the violence thing with him when little ones are around for he gets lost in all the action that he often forgets to change the channel.

* * * * * *

[Rhapsody]

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asylumgardens said:
Husbands and boyfriends can lust over fully clothed actresses just as much as nude ones,
they just have to use less imagination with the ones that go nude.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

TRUE.................. and I am trying to work on that notion, but it still hurts from with in to even thing about him thinking of another female that way.

[Rhapsody]

You know when it comes right down to it I hate feeling like the heal the scrooge in the household, for I am always the one having to say: NO to this show, NO to that game, No to this movie and I hate the stress it causes me for all three of them should know by now and they should have not to ask.

And why can't why won't my husband speak up some times? (ok he does speak up from time to time - when he finds it offensive) - but I have more objections over sexuality in shows than he does....... so how do we compromise? - how do we get along.

[Rhapsody]

Hmm -


I believe these two issues are related (my relationship one & women support one), they seem to have the same common denominator controlling them and me with unresolved fear from within - reason being mentioned by me in the other thread.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showf...&o=365&fpart=3

Insert from other Thread

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I HATE to admit this (out loud)...... but I think my sadness in this area is only compounded by the inner thoughts I have that he, my husband, does not really love me any more or that he would prefer some one younger & sexier than I am, hence why I get so hurt when rejected over sex.

These FEARS are not unfounded, for I once had to compete with what his eyes saw then lusted over in his mind and in the end fulfilled with his body - for ten long years - now I cannot seem to escape the wound / doubts those years placed in me.

I HATE than someone I was supposed to be able to TRUST did this do me, created such a horror in me.
... and yes, I know this was more about him and his issue and not me, but it still hurts.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[blah__x]

personally, nudity offends me especially when im with others, especially if a brother is in the room. even an intense pashing scene makes me VERY uncomfortable if a male is in the room and ive simply gone and turned the screen off before. nudity makes me feel exposed and inecure. and yea i think its way unneccesary. i mean christ i dont remember the last movie i saw that didnt have some stupid scene in it, that wouldnt have been just as good if not better without it! if people want that stuff i think they should get their own porn: films shouldnt have to display these things and ruin it for those who do feel uncomfortable or are simply too young.

eg. Matrix 2. DISGUSTING!!

[Rhapsody]

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Gabriel said:
nudity makes me feel exposed and inecure. and yea i think its way unneccesary. i mean christ i dont remember the last movie i saw that didnt have some stupid scene in it, that wouldnt have been just as good if not better without it!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I feel the same way (and so does hubby) - I think they throw nudity in a movie just so people will say wow that was a good movie, even if the movie sucked.

And, it is not that I feel uncomfortable with nudity in general - it is that I do not feel comfortable watching movies with nudity in it when I am watching it with my husband.... for he once has a ten year lusting porn addiction and I know the pain from his looking and desiring other women all to well.

I guess that is why I was asking how others felt..... for his porn addiction is over now (5 yrs) and yet it still seems to hit me like a huge bolder when he sees a sexy woman naked.

[summerflower22]

I don't have a problem with nudity when I watch it alone, but if my fiance is watching it with me, I get jealous. I'm 23 and suffer with low self esteem, so seeing these actresses with tons of make-up on, and with their "perfect bodies" I kind of feel worthless. I think that my fiance would rather have them, over me, or was wishing that I looked like that.
I'm not very religious, so that's not the problem with me. I try to look at it this way, the women in these movies are fake, they have the money to go out and buy boobs, get plastic surgery, they put on tons of make-up. So, any flaws they have, are all covered up. They're like cartoon characters..made up.

I will never let my husband look at a nudity sene. If he does i get really upest...i might slap him for it lol. I am just really againt it. But then again i have the right to be paraniod he cheated on me. So a slap to the eye will help him not want to look at another girl. or maybe im just mean.

[Rhapsody]

((( hugs ))) SummerFlower & PMachovina....... I know the pain you two speak of all to well.

... I am glad that my husband finally saw how his lustful eyes / mind was hurting me and that he stopped.

[Rhapsody]

Need to Share.....

Hubby and I went out tonight to pick up some dinner and then we stopped by my son friends house to pick him so he could spend the night - he asked us if we could stop by Blockbuster so he could rent a game for the night and we did....

All was going well until we drove up to the business and my husband saw the 300 Movie Poster and stated (once again) how he wanted to rent the movie when it comes out on DVD so he could watch it again...
my sons friend said - "Oh Yeah Man that would be Kewl" - then I responded by saying "No I don't think so" - the friend asked "WHY" and my husband replied in a short smarty pants way saying..... Oh, it offends her so we can't watch it".
... to which I replied "Well, you will have to do it with out Me - I will go some where for the day, which my husband did not like hearing.

When the friend went in side to rent a game - I turned to my husband and said: "SO, if you watch the Movie (with naked ladies in it) then do I get to buy a Playgirl magazine (I was really joking, I think).
... well, my husband got made and said: "You know that is not what I watch it for" - to which I said: "But I don't like you seeing other women's boobies..... He got made at me and said "this is stupid & ridiculous.

My sons friend came back out so I asked my husband to please stop and he did - but now he is a little perturbed with me (went to bed with out me) -

WHY CAN'T HE JUST UNDERSTAND MY POV on this ISSUE - just a little?

[blah__x]

((((( Rhapsody )))))

hopefully he'll understand soon. maybe you hit home with the playgirl comment.

heres hoping,

Gabriel