[Artchic528]

I was talking to this one guy on OKCupid, actually writing lengthy replies as he was and enjoying the whole conversation, so I gave him my number in hopes he and I would text often, and maybe meet up. However, when he did text me, we only exchanged a few short messages and he stopped. I thought it was a loss of interest on his part, so I went on my merry way of just being and enjoying myself as I was, single or no. Then today, I saw he had visited my profile yesterday, as if reminiscing about our conversation, but being too "shy"
as his profile states he is, to really reach out to me anymore.

Is this the case? Should I reach out to him again? Or is he pretty much a no go at this point?

In the meantime, a second guy "liked" me, a really attractive guy, at least he is attractive in 2/3 of his profile pictures, and so I "liked" him back. I'm trying a new approach where I'm more "aloof", so to speak. Not as upfront, eager and bold. Basically, I'm letting the guy reach out to me, and then going from there. I figure my being bold and upfront, was a turnoff or something. That's what I figured out went wrong on my last date. I showed up in a nice dress, with makeup done and hair all down and flowy, and made sure to make the guy feel that I was interested, attracted and whatnot. Maybe it was too much interest on my part? Besides, we just didn't click the way I wanted to anyways.

Or am I thinking too much about this? Should I just send off messages to both these guys and see where things go?

Why is dating so utterly complex and vexing?

[s4ndm4n2006]

well thinking and analyzing what you're doing or not doing is pretty natural in situations like this. dont' beat yourself up too much for trying to "figure it out".

The truth tho, is there is really no standard or set way that you should behave or not behave, only do what comes natural. If going out of your way to be aloof is unnatural, then it's probably not right. If being too eager is not, then so on and so forth. The thing is every guy is going to be different and you can't have a "catch all" plan that will be effective 100% of the time. This is why doing what comes natural is the best way. You won't catch the attention of everyone but neither will you do so trying to be something you're not. AT least when you do get a connection while being yourself there is no issue once you have hit it off. If you're being fake or doing things to ttry to hook a guy (or a woman in the case where someone is looking for that) then once things seem to progress you'll find yourself in the dilemma of whether you continue to be that person or start to be natural and most times it doesn't work out then

I hope I make sense. In a nutshell do what you feel is most comfortable. The right guy is the one that will find YOU attractive and interesting, whether you are naturally aloof or eager.

There's a difference between being eager and bold, unless you're being bold in your eagerness. I think you should be bold in your self-confidence: how you carry yourself, who you are, and what you want, but I don't know if eager is a good look for online dating.

[Bill3]

Then today, I saw he had visited my profile yesterday, as if reminiscing about our conversation, but being too "shy"
as his profile states he is, to really reach out to me anymore.

I think it is a reach to conclude that he wants to reach out to you, but is just too shy, on the basis of the single fact that he visited your site today.

He was "unshy" enough to speak to you at some length, so i would not attribute his newfound silence to shyness, and, whether he is in fact shy or not, if it were me i would not reach out to him on the basis of this alleged shyness.

[divine1966]

If he was the last one to send a text then certainly contact him but if you were the last and he never replied then don't contact him. I don't know if he is shy. Shy people can still send a text.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by divine1966

If he was the last one to send a text then certainly contact him but if you were the last and he never replied then don't contact him. I don't know if he is shy. Shy people can still send a text.

Agreed, being pretty introverted or shy myself, Texting is actually something I do quite easily. It's a good alternative to face to face or even voice communications.

[LeeeLeee]

We can't invent the part of the story we don't know.

Keep meeting people and keep communicating.

Stay safe out there!

I would date as many guys as you want until you find the right one, You could date a bunch of guys that does not mean you have to sleep with them, Not saying that you are, So dont take me the wrong way, I know when I start to date again and a guy wants to take me out to dinner or what ever, I dont owe him any thing, Meaning sleeping with him, If that is what he expects it will be the last time he dates me, Alot of guys on these dating sites that is all there looking for