[TimTheEnchanter]

My wife and I are not managing this relationship. She verbally hurts me and then I hurt back and we have a teen at home. We should just try to make it 2-3 more years but my wife said she is moving out. (After I told her that I am not going anywhere). I told her to go to some third party mediator but she won't listen. This morning she broke some glass she was so angry. These are the things she is doing to me. We sleep separately but she told me that she might need my room if we should have guests(??!), I told her that she should make her room available because I have no intention of inviting anyone. (she is thinking of her mother and sister)
The she told me that my 401K retirement money is not excursively mine because she makes more money than I and we saved about $25000 that we could squirrel away. Most of the money however is my savings and company matching... After I managed to start a Spiritual group with the Unitarian Church she told me that "nobody will come, anyway"....of course all these gave me a great deal of bitterness and finally I called her a "sour b^565ch"..Now she feels sorry for herself. I am so lost.... I have no idea what to do. I am turning 60 in December and I have no money (only a little). I could move to Europe for 5 years but I cannot leave my daughter and cat. (I also like my house). If she wants to play nasty - we sell the house! Oh, yes, I use her health insurance...

[Skeezyks]

Hello TimTheEnchanter: I'm sorry things have come to such a state for you. I'm 68 & have been married for about 37 years... (my wife's accomplishment... not mine.) Anyway... I can, to an extent, imagine how difficult this must be for you. So I send hugs your way with the hope you will be able to find your way safely through this most difficult time.

[Crazy Hitch]

The relationship sounds quite complex and tangled at this stage and unfortunately if she isn't willing to work it out, trying to work it out on your own will not suffice. Any chance you can move out and rent a place of your own in the short term?

[TimTheEnchanter]

No. I have no income sufficient for that...plus I have a cat(!) - if I do move out it will be for 5 years, until I get my medicare card and I am no longer dependent on her. I cannot bring myself to do that, just yet....I would go back to the old country where I could spend 5 years relatively cheaply. I would have to use up my 401K..

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

The relationship sounds quite complex and tangled at this stage and unfortunately if she isn't willing to work it out, trying to work it out on your own will not suffice. Any chance you can move out and rent a place of your own in the short term?