[black-roses]

I feel sorry for every guy and person that crushes on me because that is a love that I can never return I way to frozen in my own problems to let anyone in until I am that responsible woman with a job and her **** together. Basically I see myself to useless to love because I've had to work the hard and long way just to get my ADHD controlled, sad that anyone would have to put up with what I get like when I am not medicated. For that is not a cross anyone deserves to bear sorry for the man that will have to put up with what I am like when not medicated in the future. If you ask me why I am cold hearted to others affection I had to be in order to not destroy anyone else in order to not take someone down with me. For I know I could not live with myself if anyone had to suffer with me.

[Crazy Hitch]

You're likely not ready for relationships yet until you've worked on some of the issues you've stated.

[black-roses]

That's very true. Though the good thing now is my job provider has gotten me a volunteer job so I have less time thinking. They are mainly concerned about my memory and the frequent forgetfulness. So my job provider asked me who my psychiatrist is and I assume she is going to contact him to see if he is afterall getting me that brain scan. Also I have an appointment on 6th of October. Hopefully I will tell my psychiatrist everything and don't hold back because I am afraid that he may think I have much more serious problems than I thought before.