Boyfriend's mum causing problems

I have always gotten on OK with his mother. She is unbelievably strict with him though, considering his age. He is 20 and lives with her at home still. My mental illness makes it difficult for me to travel so ask him to come to mine, he says he has to ask her and sometimes, she actually says no. It makes me so infuriated that she treats him so childishly and he doesn't seem to know there's a problem. Sometimes he isn't ''allowed" into his room because it's noisy, apparently.

He can sometimes be very immature. I feel like this is a result of how she is with him. He is a lovely guy though and love him immensely. I just don't know how to deal with this situation.

Welcome to the world of boyfriend's controlling mommas!
Mommas who don't want to realize that their boys aren't boys anymore.
Though your guy is 20, he still needs to be treated as an adult.

How generations move on!! I mean when I was 17 living at home with my dad and younger brother`s. We could not go out the street for safety reason`s. And if I was unruly (Cheeky) I was sent to bed without anything to eat!! My dad was very strict indeed, I think he get`s this from his dad (My granddad) as he was a sergeant Major in the army.

`OH` I hate getting old...........

My first thoughts were this is a case of a momma's boy; one with attachment issues to and from mom; one who's relationship with mom has led to a failure to be self-reliant.

But then, it occured to me that mom may have a very good reason. It could be that she does in fact expect some responsibility and sef-reliance out of him.

Does he work, does he pay rent? There is a viewpoint out there too of my-house-my-rules.

Regarding his mom saying of 'no' to him... what is his mode of transportation? Is'no' related to not being given use of a family car? Had he a previous committment? Perhaps he had a responsibility he was expected to complete?

One of mine came back temporarily. She paid rent, but also had responsiblities around the home. In addition she was occasionally granted use of a car. However I expected her duties to be complete beforehand.

yea she is a controlling mama. you might have to explain to him that this bothers you and later on might accept that she will always come in the way.