[TishaBuv]

I'm not sure where to post this.

I'm sad that i'm living in a fantasy world in my head because i'm unfulfilled IRL.

My relationship with my h is in marital therapy, trying to find some way to stay together and keep our sanity. It's hellish.

I wish i were with someone else, somewhere else. So i pretend and have isolated myself pretty much.

IDK if i have any illness or disorder or if i'm just really unhappy and this is my way of coping.

Sad and pathetic, but the healthiest option i can think of.

[t0rtureds0ul]

I live in a fantasy world too. But I'm a firm believer that dreams can come true. What fantasies keep you going? Do you believe therapy can save your marriage?

Have you read 'The Secret'? It might help widen your brains horizons of the life you want and can have.

[TishaBuv]

It's pretty simple. Just a relationship with a guy who does satisfy me and 'gets' me.

[divine1966]

To all honesty if after over 20 years, your spouse still doesn't meet your needs and you are still unhappy, I don't see how and why it would all of sudden change. I personally don't like living in fantasy and would divorce him so I can be happier with my life. Alone or with more compatible man

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by divine1966

To all honesty if after over 20 years, your spouse still doesn't meet your needs and you are still unhappy, I don't see how and why it would all of sudden change. I personally don't like living in fantasy and would divorce him so I can be happier with my life. Alone or with more compatible man

I fantasize about a happier life alone. I move to the country. Get friendly with craftsy and nature kind of people. Become a free spirit.

I fantasize about being with a compatible man. He's not my h. He fits just fine with that country me. I feel comfortable and content, finally.

Then reality kicks in and i don't think such a life or such a man exists for me. I am stuck in this scenario.

Maybe it's all BPD. I can't feel right, but i am too insecure to end it. It's been back/forth for so long. I'm afraid i'd do that with anybody.

I wish i really knew if it was all an illness or disorder, so i could just accept that and do the DBT workbook.

This is never going to get better regardless.

I'm sorry i did not get free and happier. I know it is frustrating to hear me go on knowing i keep failing.

[TishaBuv]

Actually, i always fantasized i was someone better than i am. Now that i think of it, i did it as far back as i can remember. Always had 'imaginary' friends and pretended to be with them enjoying being the me i wanted to be.

I really thought one day i'd find love and feel so good and right with him. In reality, love happened a couple of times, but only lasted for a little while. Then i lost that feeling, deciding it didn't feel right.

[TishaBuv]

What do you expect from a woman who slept with her baby blanket until she got married? It's miraculous i managed to get married and raise children. It really took all i had in me, and now i just want to melt back to dust and be gone.

[divine1966]

I never thought I would ever meet someone I could be compatible with. I never thought I'd ever be content

[TishaBuv]

Maybe getting older, it's easier. I'm glad to have someone to open jars!

He triggered me by doing his shtick that gets me. He's not capable of anything else, i know. And i'm not capable of rising above the mood it causes me.