[ComfortablyNumb5]

This is out of pure curiosity. How many of you have gotten to know people online only and talk regularly? I have a few other women on my fb and we regularly like or comment on each others posts. I talk to these people more than my friends IRL. I think it shows how much people are switching to cyber world for communicating these days. My best friend who is male, I met here! We talk on fb msgr every day but live 9 hours apart. Never once seen each other in person! I've had some pretty extensive convos with others here too. Even though I don't know these people IRL, I value the friendship just the same. So what's your take on this new age way of making friends?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

This is out of pure curiosity. How many of you have gotten to know people online only and talk regularly? I have a few other women on my fb and we regularly like or comment on each others posts. I talk to these people more than my friends IRL. I think it shows how much people are switching to cyber world for communicating these days. My best friend who is male, I met here! We talk on fb msgr every day but live 9 hours apart. Never once seen each other in person! I've had some pretty extensive convos with others here too. Even though I don't know these people IRL, I value the friendship just the same. So what's your take on this new age way of making friends?

this may sound weird but I have always preferred the face to face, outside the computer relationships/ friendships. maybe that stems from I grew up in a location that did not have computer access. I also saw this movie one time called the net that fictionalized possible problems with a woman who made the internet her life, I realized watching that, that in real life it can be a danger to make the internet relationships my life. I would rather people know I exist as a human being rather than just a username and face (both of which can be fabricated with all kinds of software these days so you never know who or what you are actually talking to online). Not to metion the internet is part of my job and how I pass my break times and when feeling a bit under the weather. So normally I limit how long I am on the internet and make non computer time a priority.

I have one good friend on here who I could never have met irl (geography). In the past I've had a couple of online friends, one of whom died (we had a close friendship), it was a very different strange sort of grief with nothing tangible to link to, no friends in common, I still think of her and miss her. Yes people can be fake, but I had many reasons to believe she was the real deal.

I have no one on fb I haven't met irl (a rule we had for our son and I stuck with it), and I have to say on the whole I prefer face to face interaction - it feels more natural somehow and nothing beats being in the room with people and having a good laugh together. I do keep in touch with my rl friends in-between meet ups with email and fb though and I like expressing my thoughts in writing and reading others thoughts.

I have valued my online only friends but I have to be honest it's not on the same level as rl friends.

[Trippin2.0]

Prefer offline friends, because I like in person bonding.


But with that being said, I've made two really close friends here and we chat all the time. I have them on FB too, they're the only ppl on my FB I've never met offline.


If they didn't live on the literal opposite side of the world, I would definitely hang out with them!

[~Christina]

I also have 3 really close friends I met here.

In fact one moved in with my husband and I a year ago.

I'm grateful I have them in my life.

The other 2 . I just need a passport and a plane.

I have 2 pretty good friends I met here. We talk every day.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Howdy.

How many of you have gotten to know people online only and talk regularly?

I've met and frequently talked to many people online (only) over the years. Many have come and gone, but some have stayed for a very long time; many years.

I talk to these people more than my friends IRL. I think it shows how much people are switching to cyber world for communicating these days.

Do you think this may actually indicate a lack of closeness between yourself and your local friends? Perhaps you struggle to communicate with them in person. Of course, it could also be that the Internet is just more convenient and so it's easier to stay in touch more frequently.

My best friend who is male, I met here! We talk on fb msgr every day but live 9 hours apart. Never once seen each other in person! I've had some pretty extensive convos with others here too.

This makes me think that it's possible you feel unable to be open with your local friends, regarding your MH, so instead seek that sort of comfort with people here, as I'm sure many of us do. I've recently learned that bipolar disorder (which I see from your profile that you have) is often taboo, whereas people here are probably more likely to accept and/or understand it.

Perhaps you fear judgement or being misunderstood because of your MH, so you keep yourself at a distance, but don't feel the need with those you've gotten to know from PC. Does that sound plausible?

If this is the case, it might be advantageous to try to learn to open up more about your problems to those local to you as well. They may surprise you and actually be supportive. If, however, they aren't, that will suck, but could indicate that they aren't a good fit for you.

So what's your take on this new age way of making friends?

I think there's good and bad to it. I think it's safe to say that the Internet has allowed people of varying cultures to come together, sharing a wide variety of beliefs; I think it's fantastic like that. Unfortunately, as communication can be so easy online (for perhaps the majority, at least) and so "throw away" (a simple block, rather than a possible "in-person" confrontation) it makes it so convenient that it's arguably preferable, which results or could result in "regular" social interaction being left out. I think I've probably experienced this myself ad nauseam.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I don't know...It's weird... in high school I was the funny popular girl. I was friends with every group. Computer nerds, jocks, skaters, stoners lol. Then I was dx'ed in my senior year and put on meds. That's when I spent my days sleeping and alienating and here I am at 29 still in that rut. I still have some communication with my old friends but it's through fb. They have kids, they're married, I am not. That's where we differ. I can't really relate to them so our communication is limited. However one old friend does have BP like me so we talk more about it. I'm close to my family too, who know about my MI. I'd say my brother is my best friend actually. Don't get me wrong, there's drama in my family too. I'd say my dad is undiagnosed and to proud to ever admit he has a issue. My siblings and I all see it. He's a alcoholic as I am, was (whatever). So I do have a social circle that is just as cooky as me you can say.

[Twisted Hell]

Ive known one person for 10 years or more and have never met him irl, we dont talk every day, but we do talk and my irl friends and family know who im talking about if i repeat something he said. I had others in the past but we lost touch as sites and messengers shut down.

[Artchic528]

Well, I have had a couple of friends I've met though other forum communities, and have even met up with IRL. However, both of these friendships are no longer going on. The first one ended in a huge argument over one of my favorite stars that had, at the time, recently passed away. The second just sort of faded away.

I have yet to meet anyone on here that feels comfortable enough with me to give me their Facebook information, not that I'm pressuring anyone to do so now.

"C'est la Vie." as the French say, "Such is life."

[Crazy Hitch]

I think I've made friends here ... and then lost more close friends here .... it's a bit like a seesaw

[Twisted Hell]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Well, I have had a couple of friends I've met though other forum communities, and have even met up with IRL. However, both of these friendships are no longer going on. The first one ended in a huge argument over one of my favorite stars that had, at the time, recently passed away. The second just sort of faded away.

I have yet to meet anyone on here that feels comfortable enough with me to give me their Facebook information, not that I'm pressuring anyone to do so now.

"C'est la Vie." as the French say, "Such is life."

I dont know about anyone else but the only reason i dont give people my facebook info on here is because ive said way to much personal stuff and im super paranoid about people knowing my real name

My online friendship didn't go well but I've said enough about him. I do have another friend from online but she lives in the US and I'm in UK. I think it is sometimes best to keep friendships online especially if you develop feelings for them. Female friendships are ok but the US is too far to meet up. I would like more online female friends though. It's not likely that I would develop feelings for a guy online again though because I wouldn't let myself go there.

I prefer offline friends.

I just see too big a window for cyber friends to not be entirely honest. What I mean is that there is not the same vested interest in the relationship with people online as there is off. You can say things you would never say to a real life friend. It is easier to do so because that vested interest and bond isn't there. One is more free over the internet. I think too people have a tendancy to become more attached to these 'relationships' too - they take over a life of their own. Again, a cyber relationship is easier than the real thing.

Here's a few litmus tests:

- Would you find this okay (especially if these associations were of the opposite sex) for your significant other?
- Have you talked about or said things to these cyper friends you wouldn't your real friends?
- Would ending an online relationship cause the same grief as an offline chum?

I've been there and it nearly ruined my life. I wouldn't talk to a real friend everyday for hours a day, would I? Yet I would move heaven and earth to do so with online friends.

Now I stick to the real thing. Only one friend on my list is someone I have never met in person and I don't talk to them other than to give them updates on their family member in crisis. Life seems to be a lot easier that way.

[Yours_Truly]

I've yet to have a strictly online friendship and I don't do fb. So... Idk.

[MickeyCheeky]

I don't have friends in real life Only here, people will actually listen to me..

[hvert]

I like both kinds of friendships. I got online in the mid 90s and still have some friends from those days. I met quite a few of these friends irl, but just on visits. I have one person I've been writing to for 20 years now that I still haven't met.

[Delicious]

I have both types of friendships.

However, I've been talking to 2 friends that I met online and have never seen, I talk to one about EVERYTHING, he is pretty great. The other is my artist friend, who is the only person I can talk to about art.

It's nice to feel like you have friends in other parts of the world, and that it's possible for people to have a communicative flow even if they've never seen each others faces

[Fuzzybear]

I have a couple of very good "online only" friends... We would definitely meet up if we were not on opposite sides of the globe.

I have also encountered a few.. Flaky if not fake people
(Mostly when I was very new to online "society" )

I've had very bad experiences with people I've met online and in person. I've had very good experiences also. I will take a good friend in any form I can find them. My illness makes me pull away from people and in time they forget about me, or I feel silly contacting them, or I become paranoid about them. This happens with online friends and in person friends. I'd take a kind overseas snail mail pen pal over an in person insensitive any day. In a perfect world, I'd want my closest people right next to me, but there have been times when the person I'm closest to was an ocean away. You never know what form a friend might turn up in. I'm apprehensive regardless.

[FireIsland123]

So, what's better? Friends you've made here who are essentially fantasy - but are kind, compassionate and understanding -or- people you know IRL who are judgemental, unreliable and even worse? Having the safety of anonymity has allowed me to open up in ways that are impossible IRL. My best friend is someone I met here - and we have met in person - but distance makes that very rare. I DO wish we lived closer - but I am so fortunate to have met her! So, I guess what I'm saying is this - its not that one is better than the other - they are just different, each with their good and bad points. I just seem to have developed a much more meaningful relationship here.