[Mapper]

So last night I was trying to round up all 4 of our cats because we keep them inside at night. Two of them rarely leave the yard, the other two are wanderers so we got them trackers for their collars which helps us pinpoint them if they are within 400 feet. Well I had 3 of them in the house and went out with the tracker to try and find the other one. I walked a ways and finally got a low signal on her so she was somewhat nearby but couldn't locate her so I went back into the house and told my husband that I had an idea where she was but she wasn't coming. He's oblivious to all of this because he's playing his video game. I'M the one who has to round them up every night because he's so damn nonchalant about everything and has the "Oh they'll come in when they are ready" attitude about it even though we have had 2 other cats go missing in a 6 month period.

So anyways I tell him that I can't pinpoint her and he goes "Did you call her name? Oh you probably didn't because you're too embarrassed". That really upset me. Yes, you are right I'm embarrassed walking down the street yelling her name and nearly 10PM! And I never like to draw attention to myself. I say to him "Well I don't have a big mouth like you do" which was kind of a jab to him on my part because he made me feel crappy but I don't think he got it. He goes "It doesn't matter! They know our voices." I was pissed and went out again with my tracker and finally found her. He didn't move the entire time to help me or go yelling for her himself even though he has no problem going out at midnight and yelling her name, waking up the neighbors. I wanted to go to bed so I wanted them inside and if I left it for him to do, he most likely wouldn't have done it or tried for about 30 seconds and then said "Well I guess we'll just let them go in and out as they please tonight."

His behaviour is not acceptable. The tone, and choice of words - not to mention disinterest - were hurtful. If you can, I would try to talk to him about it. It sounds too as though the video gaming has become a problem. Has this been going on a while?

[Mapper]

He's been video gaming forever and it can be all consuming with him as well. But the bigger problem is that he just can't concern himself with things that actually take patience and time to do...like looking for the cats and making sure they are in. Last night it was 8:30 and we had just finished eating and I said to him "I'm going to clean up the kitchen and then go to bed. Can you get the cats inside while I do that?" He goes "No that's your job. I'm going to go sit on the computer and then go to bed". I say "I have to do it every night" and he goes "Well you're the one who decided they need to stay inside at night". OMG! Really? We lose 2 cats in 6 months, most likely due to predators getting them at night, and now you can't be bothered to get them inside because it takes too much work? A week ago when we were on vacation and left them alone for 3 days to go in and out as they please he was freaking out saying "Oh I hope they'll be okay. Can you call the neighbors to make sure that they are all still there when they come in to feed them?" and now he acts like they'll do whatever they do and we'll just have to hope they come home.

ANYTHING requiring patience is something he won't do. I couldn't get him to fill out applications when he was out of work, he won't pursue anything if it isn't given to him immediately. He told his daughter that if she wanted to go study in Europe for a semester that he'd pay for it but she'd have to do all the leg work involved in finding out how to go about it, how to get there, where to stay. He didn't give a damn in knowing anything about it, but would throw money at her and wish her well if she went, most likely rarely speaking to her while she was away. Of course she had no idea where to start so that went nowhere. Even when I was living long distance and engaged to him and I told him I'd move out when his annulment was finished, it took him nearly 2 years to get that done. He kept giving me excuses as to why it was taking so long, but now I know it's because he didn't want to work on it.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you have to put up with this Have you tried to talk about it with him?

[Mapper]

He follows through on NOTHING. I could talk until I'm blue in the face about him being more responsible and saving money and he'll promise me he'll do that and it lasts for maybe a week and he's back to his old self, which is pretty much acting like a teenager.

[avlady]

sounds like a horrible place to be in this situation. i think hes just lazy and selfish.

[Mapper]

Like yesterday I get home and find him not at work. He's lying on the couch covered up with blankets and I get a very weak "oh hi". He says his neck hurts and not like he slept on it wrong but it just hurts. Oh and he had the poops that morning, so apparently he couldn't go to his job where he sits at a computer and deals with customers. When he sees I'm not going to get mad at him for being home (because he has gone for days and weeks not going into work for no reason) he pops off the couch, starts being all happy, makes dinner, pours himself a drink and hops on the computer like nothing is wrong.

I see this morning via our phone records that he once again texted his boss and the only reason to do that is to let him know he's not coming in. Usually it boils down to a customer upset him and he doesn't want to deal with them or someone at work upset him or he's just in the mode where he doesn't care.