[l00king4answers79]

I havent been on here in over a year it seems... but I'm glad to be back. The last time I was here I was in an unhealthy, emotionally abusive relationship. That relationship ended October of 2015, we tried to be friends but ultimately stopped speaking to each other in March of this year. I started dating someone in February knowing that I wasn't over my ex... I'm still with him today and plan on continuing for the foreseeable future. I still think about my ex frequently and feel like only recently I've actually "gotten over" him. Am I wrong in this situation?

[kamikazebaby]

As long as you're honest that you're still processing it, I think it's okay. I've never agreed with putting life on hold after a breakup because doing so just makes one dwell more, not get over it.

I find it has helped me. I still have times of sadness, but they're not like they were, and I'm now in a positive and fulfilling relationship. Knowing there's possibility/relationship happiness after a breakup (especially coming from an abusive relationship) is critical. Some of us, like me, need to feel and experience that, not just know it in some abstract fashion.

[Crazy Hitch]

No, you are not wrong.

Your past relationship was abusive and destructive and your partner now can be your support system and your pillar of strength.

[spiritofjosh]

I agree with the others that you are not wrong. But I will say, based on my own experiences, it's best to be clear about your feelings about it with your current boyfriend if it's ever brought up.

I hadn't fully moved on from someone I've been with for 5 years while I dated two more people and when asked if I still had older feelings I always denied them. All that did was make things more tense and uncomfortable if I would have just been honest and said I wouldn't go back, but I wasn't over it. If the other person really cares for you they'll get past it, with you.