Ended friendship with friend

I had this lady friend and every time we talked she monopolized all the time on the phone. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. She would also talk over me if I started saying something. If I did get a chance to talk sometimes I'd talk for awhile and then she'd turn the conversation back about herself most of the time. I felt terrible after we talked most of the time. So I decided to tell her how she acts when we talk. I wrote her an email about it because it's hard to get a word in edgewise when we talk on the phone. She didn't write anything back. So I wrote back and and asked her if she had anything to say and she said "I'm sorry you feel that way". I then wrote her back and asked her if there was anything else she had to say and she said "There's nothing more to say." In my first email to her I also had told her how I wanted to be friends and would like to be able to express myself, too.

So getting back to the end of this, after she said "There's nothing more to say" I wrote back and asked her if she was pissed off with me at all. She wrote back that she wastn't po'd until I wrote her back and that I should just get used to people monopolizing conversations and how people do it to her all the time and that maybe I should talk to my therapist about it and then at the end of her email she said "just so you know I am VERY ANGRY."

I just could not believe what I read and got mad and wrote her back and told her that I should be the one who was mad with how she treated me and that I felt she was being insensitive and that I no longer wanted anything to do with her.

I just felt that I wanted a friendship with equal communication and wasn't getting that at all. I did realize that it won't always be that way because needs differ at times but this went on for a year of me putting up with that nonsense. I should have not got involved with her in the first place. My instincts told me not to but she pursued a friendship with me. Well, I ended it and am glad.

I need some support that I did the right thing and am not just a crazy person.

I'll be the first to encourage you and tell you that you did the right thing...any time you are involved with someone that makes you feel bad when you walk away from them should be a sign that, that person is not good for you. I have been in similar situations and eventually I would realize I had to get out of the friendship. Although most times I sort of just fade out, I don't usually confront anyone, I have difficulty with conflict.
conversation is meant to be give and take, when one is doing all the taking it becomes a lecture I think.

Thank you so much for the encouragement. She did lecture me at times and other stuff, too. I was afraid of her but not any more. I am free! Yes, I knew that it's supposed to be give and take as I have experienced that before. Thanks for reassuring me of that!

You did the right thing and you are not just a crazy person.

Good for you for recognizing a "one-sided" friendship.

I think that you turned something that didn't need to be dramatic into a dramatic situation. I'm going to be honest with you. I think the best way to end friendships is to let them fade away, not send them off with a bang. Just my thoughts.

You expressed your needs in the relationship, she invalidated your feelings and showed she had no desire to try and have you feel more comfortable. She always left you feeling bad after talking to her. These are all signs that you are better off without this particular friendship in your life. (((Hugs)))

LucyD, You are a very giving person! On this forum you constantly help others without regards to your own needs. I think it is healthy that you want more. Don't feel guilty. Our time on this earth is limited and to valuable to spin our wheels with people who do not lift us up in some way. Time to put it out of your mind. Myst

Thank you, I needed to know that!

Honest about how you feel I guess. Do you think your post was helpful?

Thank you for validating all that. Those were my thoughts, too.

Thank you. I am trying to forget it.

You did the right thing, Lucy. You deserve a lot better!

I agree that you did the right thing Lucy

Thank you. Taking that kind of treatment for so long hurt my self esteem but it is rising up again.

Thanks Fuzzybear.

Sounds like it was a toxic relationship anyhow.

Good riddance.

seesaw

Yes, I was just listening to her and doting on her and getting nothing in return. And she acted as if I was nuts to complain about it!