[ozzycat]

Good eve everyone
I need advice. I broke up with my last boyftiend a few months ago because i was unhappy and also became atteacted to someone els. However this othetlr person is married so i cannot be true to my feelings and tell him how i feel. He pursued me and and i started to like him even tho it was thru minipulated antics. I did end up rebuffing a physical relationship with him because i want to respect his marriage. The question is do i tell him my feelings are real and seek ansers as to his motives and if he considers me if he divorces his wife or leave it alone it is fusteating having feelings and still being distant at the same time but i dont want to play sally homewrecker either

[TishaBuv]

He pursued you to have an affair with you while he is married. Say he gets divorced to be with you. You'll always have in your mind how he was quick and ready to cheat. He would do that to you, too.

If that doesn't bother you, you could tell him you have feelings for him and hope he will divorce his wife and be with you. Then all you can do is wait and see if that happens.

Or you could just leave him alone and find someone available and honorable.

[Crazy Hitch]

Until the day you discover this man is divorced; I'd say leave him well alone.

You don't, you yourself said, want to play home wrecker.

[ozzycat]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

He pursued you to have an affair with you while he is married. Say he gets divorced to be with you. You'll always have in your mind how he was quick and ready to cheat. He would do that to you, too.

If that doesn't bother you, you could tell him you have feelings for him and hope he will divorce his wife and be with you. Then all you can do is wait and see if that happens.

Or you could just leave him alone and find someone available and honorable.

I would not want him to divorce his wife to be with me only if he is unhappy i would not want to be the reason behind it thats y i am keepin distance abeit hard to do

[ozzycat]

Originally Posted by ozzycat

I would not want him to divorce his wife to be with me only if he is unhappy i would not want to be the reason behind it thats y i am keepin distance abeit hard to do

It seems like no matter what i do i cant stop thinking of him....had anyone else here been in a similar situation and how did you handle it.? I know its not faor he put me in this place to begin with its very selfish ..but its hard keeping away when u want to be witj them

[ozzycat]

The ? Is why do these guys do this to you and put you in this position to have feelings ...do they not think about anyone else but themselves

Originally Posted by ozzycat

The ? Is why do these guys do this to you and put you in this position to have feelings ...do they not think about anyone else but themselves

If he's married and he's pursuing you then he's letting you know something fundamental about his character. Unless his wife knows about his pursuing of another woman and is okay with it (like they have an open marriage) then I would say your last sentence is spot on.

It's hard to have developed feelings for someone like this but you have a choice to not act on those feelings. Don't let him have power of you and he won't.