[joshuas-mommy]

I am really ugly and look like crap. What should I tell people why I look like crap?

[Bill3]

What creates a need to explain your looks to other people?

[joshuas-mommy]

Because I look like a mess and people might wonder why.

[gayleggg]

I try to stay away from the subject. I would feel awkward trying to explain.

[TishaBuv]

People don't say you look like crap, when you look like crap. They just don't say anything. They do say you look good when you look good, though.

Well...unless they are your over critical mother, granny, or so-called concerned friend.

[Bill3]

people might wonder why

Why does it matter if they wonder why?

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Why does it matter if they wonder why?

Because I don't look anything like I used to. These people would keep me up for days on end and now I have huge bags under my eyes. Also, I have acne scars on my cheeks. I used to wear my hair over my face all the time, but I just jot sick of my hair always getting in my eyes. I just wanted to be able to wear my hair up and not worry about my uglyness. I also am balding in the corners of my hair in my temples. So, I don't know why to say that I don't take care of myself.

[snarkydaddy]

there are so many ways to respond to something like this depending what outcome you want. Anything from none of your business to telling them your story depending on who they are. I wish you luck with this... just remember that boundaries are very important to self esteem and having the kind of relationships to want. It is your life & what you divulge about yourself is in your hands, not theirs. You are in control of your information and your story.

[Talthybius]

If you want useful replies, tell the real story.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by Talthybius

If you want useful replies, tell the real story.

I don't know if I want to tell them I committed a crime and have been in and out of the state hospital. They just asked when I got back in town and I told them a year ago.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

I don't know if I want to tell them I committed a crime and have been in and out of the state hospital. They just asked when I got back in town and I told them a year ago.

Did they outright say to you that you look like crap?

[MickeyCheeky]

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Did they outright say to you that you look like crap?

No, they never said that I looked like crap. I just feel like I look like crap.

If I run into someone from my past and I'm not well and it shows I plan to say "hey, excuse my appearance right now, I've been through a lot with personal and family issues and it's obviously taking a toll. Please lets both pretend I look presentable "

I'm sorry you feel this way. It must really get you down. (((Hugs)))

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

No, they never said that I looked like crap. I just feel like I look like crap.

There have been times where I really looked so crappy I felt like I had to say something running into a friend. Like I had just run from the shower with wet hair, no make up and barely dressed. And I've said, "I'm embarrassed how bad I must look. I ran out looking like this."

When I am depressed and looking crappy because I'm too down to dress and put on make up, I avoid running into people. Actually go out of my way to avoid them.

But it makes me feel so much better to just fix myself up a little, put on some make up, wear something attractive. I really force myself to make the effort.