How to deal with controlling grandma?

Hi everyone, I'm a 16 year old guy whose almost 17 and my grandma lives with me, along with my mom and brother (father is out of the picture). She can be very nice but there are a lot of times where she is extremely annoying and overbearing.

For starters, she won't let me do anything fun. Sex, alcohol, or dating are definitely on her blacklist. I am a bisexual who currently has a boyfriend who treats me like a prince. He is amazing and we care about each other so much. Because he is 17 almost 18, my grandma says "He is a pedophile and trying to get in your pants!" which really pisses me off because he is NOT!!

It is not a big age gap at all and he makes me so happy everyday. Whenever she talks about him, she always addresses him as my "friend" rather than boyfriend and I always have to remind her that he is my bf. Yes we do have sex but I don't tell her we do because I know for a fact she'd call the cops and have him arrested which would lead to me being up on murder charges cause I'd seriously kill her out of rage.

Secondly, I like to drink on the weekends occasionally. She harps about that and says it's bad for me, I'll get addicted, blah blah blah even though I only do it on the weekends!! So I end up keeping that a secret too. Ughhh it just enrages me on how controlling she is. I am almost an adult. I have the right to experiment with my life and date who I want.

It's my life, not hers. My mom backs me up and also agrees that she is annoying. My brother however, tends to side with grandma more. It's basically two against two! She wants me to be cooped up at home with no fun in my life. Well that ain't gonna happen!

I might be under 18 but I have a mind of my own. I don't want her to "save" me from everything. So what should I do when she starts acting all controlling? Do I go along with her and then do what I want in secret or should I fight with her until she decides to give me my way?

Is there anything else I can do? It seems like fighting with her doesn't get me anywhere because she is so close minded, not to mention homophobic it is like talking to a rock. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I am looking for people who may also have annoying family members who try to control them and how you handled them. Thanks for your help!!!

It might help to remember that your grandma is from a different time. Also at 16 you are not an adult. Almost doesn't count. I'm a grandma and I would not be ok if my 16 year old grandson was having sex. I hope you are being safe about it though. 16 years old and drinking? ...ummm no not ok.

While I understand your frustrations, I have to agree with Shazerac that you're too young to be drinking. I don't want to sound like a stick in the mud but a 16 year old isn't an adult, there's no such thing as "almost an adult", either you're 21 and legally able to drink (as is the law in the US, where I assume you live), or you're too young to be doing so.

Until you are 18, you are legally known as a minor (aka a child) and are therefor under a parent and/or guardian's jurisdiction. It's not only their right, but their obligation to prevent you from making mistakes like drinking underage.

I also hope you're practicing safe sex. Getting STD's isn't fun for anyone.

I also don't like to sound like a stick in the mud, but 16 is definitely too young to drink. In Canada the age of legal drinking is 19, in the U.S it's 21, you're not even close to that yet. As for the sex, just make sure you're using protection. Be safe.

I just want to say that my brother started drinking around your age and is now guzzling down a couple bottles of whisky and a few 24 packs of beer on a weekly average. His room is always filled with empty beer cans and it saddens me. Please don't become my brother.

Nah. Who pays the rent, mortgage, utilities, etc.? You and your grandmother and brother are living with your mother, I would guess, but maybe you are all living with your grandmother...

The standard rules at your age are very simple:
1) No alcohol, drugs or sex;
2) Park in your assigned spot.

If you want something else right now, petition the court for emancipation...but then you will still have to wait at least for a legal drinking age.

Well, to be realistic, you will do what you will do. Just like we all did, right or wrong.

The advice I have for you is that you keep quiet. And respect your grandma.

Or move out.

What Grandma doesn't know doesn't hurt you. Do what you want to do without letting your Grandma know. TBH, that's what I did at your age. Obviously be safe, don't get busted, don't drink too much and become an alcoholic, use good sense.

I might get some hate from others here for saying this, but I think 16 years old is old enough to start experimenting in order to learn about yourself as long as it is DONE WISELY (I.E no unprotected sex and only drinking in moderation while avoiding the heavy alcohol such as Vodka, Rum, ect)

I drank my first drink at 15 yet I'm not an alcoholic so drinking young doesn't automatically make somebody into an alcoholic as long as it's done in MODERATION.

Just do try to be safe regardless of what you do and don't do something really stupid like get a DUI and I think you will be better off than most teens.

On an off but related note, I have always thought the 21 age limit of alcohol in the US was a load of B.S especially since in many other places of the world the legal drinking age is 18, yet they seem to be doing just fine.

BINGO!

My house, my rules.