[jbug]

I have this guy friend and when we get together we talk and talk and talk, when I stop in to see him at work he's always happy to see me etc. Well I have a huge huge crush on him and want to tell him but on the other hand also don't want to jepordize the friendship. I saw him last night as he was getting off of work (he works at Walmart) and he walked me out to my car which was parked on the other end of the parking lot from where his car was and we talked about how his choir tour went this weekend and how maybe this weekend we can get together to go to the movies. There is another slip in the cog of this relationship..my best friend also likes him and I don't want to hurt her and I know that I already did that once when she found out me and Rex had lunch together just the 2 of us, it was the first time it had been just the 2 of us the rest of the time Michelle has been with us. I am 31, Rex is 29 and Michelle is 21. I know big age difference between me and Michelle but that's another story. I guess my question is should I tell Rex that I would like to date him?

[Willow]

Yikes Janniebug, You are in a similar predicament to me! I have a "guy friend" at work that I am attracted to as well (if you read my post from below).

For me... I'd go out on a "real date" with the guy I work with if he asked me. However, it seems to be working best for me to just enjoy him at work for now and let the frienship grow outside of work walls. We have gone to a movie before and we may go ride horses this weekend. Somehow I feel that if we enjoy each other's company and spend time together without the pressure of "dating" our friendship has better potential to grow into a lifetime relationship. Time spent together is the ground on which familiarity, trust will grow. After that romance?

About your friend... try to keep her stuff on her side of the fence if you can. She may have had a reaction, but you didn't cause the reaction. I'm not sure where the line of sensitivity of others crosses the line of caretaking and codependency. That's one of the areas I am still growing in.

[Zenobia]

Personally I would talk to your girlfriend about your feelings for the guy first. It hurts when you like a guy and then your girlfriend goes out with him without letting you know. I lost a friendship by doing this very thing in a state of drunkeness. I miss my friend to this day and that was some 18 years ago. She has forgiven me but our intimate friendship was lost and we no longer share with each other. I see her once every couple of years. I believe if I hadn't done what I did and just told her how I felt for this guy that things would have worked out. He really wasn't her type and she would have tired of him quickly. I ended up marrying him but if I had been able to show my friend the respect she deserved I would still have her as well as my husband.
Zen

<font color=blue>I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but, it comes from within. It is there all the time.--Anna Freud

[jbug]

She knows my feelings for Rex because we have talked about it and she says she wouldn't mind if me and Rex dated but I know different from the way she reacted when she found out we had gone to lunch. Maybe I'm just scared of committment like I tell him Hey I like you and would like to date you and he says Ok I think I'd freak. His picture is in the paper today due to the fact the chorus he sings in is having a dinner lounge thing at the college and I couldn't stop staring at it. I'm trying to figure out how to obscond with the paper so I can cut it out.

[amandaheelen]

if he asks for your phone number, give it to him if you like him. otherwise pretend he's just a friend and go out on more dates. As for michelle, don't let a guy ruin your friendship. Let him be the one to say he's not interested.