[sami3]

k so im 17 and im a virgin. and ive been dating my boyfriend about 3 months. and im not sure if i want to have sex with him yet... i kinda want to, but i dunno if im ready. how do i know when im ready to do it??

[asylumgardens]

Well, I think if you're ready you will know.. and if you are questioning it, maybe you aren't ready. It's a very personal decision, so don't do it unless you are sure you want to.. No one can tell you when you are or are not ready except yourself.

Quite commonly people think of sex as an event and they have a fairly narrow conception of what that event consists in. There is a variety of sexual activity, though, from hugging and cuddling and pecking on the cheek all the way up to penetration.

You shouldn't have to participate in anything that doesn't feel right to you. Sometimes it can pay to go a bit slower than you would like, even, because sometimes you can feel a bit differently in the morning from how you feel at the time.

I guess that one of the functions of sexual activity is to help people feel connected and closer to each other. I mean, sometimes it can be a kind of recreational fun and / or a form of release and if it occurs against a backdrop of a caring relationship that can be quite fun, but people often don't want their first encounters to be like that.

I would say... To be a little creative and have some fun figuring out things that you can both enjoy doing where both of you feel comfortable in doing it. Masterbation, mutual masterbation etc and sorts of things that aren't quite 'sex' in the traditional sense, but surely count as kinds of sexual activity, for example.

(Remember to be careful about fluids and stuff)

[bebop]

do not let anyone pressure you into sex. I wish I had waited way longer than I did. I wish I had not listened to my bf saying I would do it if I loved him. if he had loved me he would not have put the pressure on.

[Rhapsody]

When you are ready it will happen....... and do not worry so much about it, for I know many virgins that are over 18 years old and they are fine with it.

[Direction]

There are probably some reasons that you have for keeping your virginity...probably something to hold onto...since it's only been 3 months dating...why not wait another 3 months and see where things are heading...if your still not sure wait another amount of time...

Your waiting and his reaction to this waiting will probably give you a clearer picture about the value he places on the relationship...

I would suggest not experimenting if you have any doubts...it is way to easy to get wrapped up in the moment and the next thing you know...

[eskielover]

The main thing is for you to know yourself. What do you want out of the relationship & make sure the relationship is what you want it to be before ever having sex.

Yes, sex can be just a recreational thing, but since you are a virgin, is sounds like you put much more value on sex than that.

For me, it never was an important part of any relationship & love was the most important part....love not being sex, but being the interconnection of thoughts, caring, & pretty much being completely compatible without the sex before that ever could be an option.

When you know yourself & your values, you will know when the time is right. You won't have to question yourself.

Debbie

Sex can bring unexpected feelings... and you wantt to make sure that you are really ready everything that goes along with that...you might want to look at that part of it..

At least that is always what I told my son... and he waited until he found that special someone... and he was glad that he did...

[Wants2Fly]

Hi there -- If you are not sure, you are not ready. Please do not let yourself be pressured.