This rant has been boiling up for days...

I have been stressed out over my health for 12 weeks now. Test after test and no real answers. There is a great deal of fear and worry. This is very real.

My boyfriend said something really dismissive. It indicated he hadn't been listening to me at all. In shock I had to re-explain to him what has thus been found and the ramifications this all has for future health. I retold him the chances of serious surgery are quite high. He showed no concern whatsoever. He gave me a 'tsk tsk stop worrying' response - then went on to drone on again about his daughter's crisis

I feel second class and unvalued. My fears hold no importance.

I really thought he cared.

[~Christina]

I'm so sorry he is being for lack of a better word a nonreponsiveAsshole.

Lots of men I have found , not all mind you, seem to just deal with one important thing at a time.

Is whatever health issues your struggling with have any pamphlet ? Or can you print out some stuff off the internet? So it physical in your face kind of stuff ?

I hope he takes the time to finally hear what your saying. Keep posting here for support.

I'm sorry your hurting

[Rose76]

Unfortunately, when you find yourself re-explaining, the odds are he's still not listening. I'm sure you weren't hard to understand the first time. My guy is like that, and it's beyond exasperating when someone who is supposed to care is paying no attention.

I hope you're able to get fixed up and will be okay.

The time of not knowing can be worse than after getting an actual diagnosis, whatever it is. He sounds immature.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

This rant has been boiling up for days...

I have been stressed out over my health for 12 weeks now. Test after test and no real answers. There is a great deal of fear and worry. This is very real.

My boyfriend said something really dismissive. It indicated he hadn't been listening to me at all. In shock I had to re-explain to him what has thus been found and the ramifications this all has for future health. I retold him the chances of serious surgery are quite high. He showed no concern whatsoever. He gave me a 'tsk tsk stop worrying' response - then went on to drone on again about his daughter's crisis

I feel second class and unvalued. My fears hold no importance.

I really thought he cared.

It may that he's scared and he's saying it's not big deal because he wants to believe it himself. My hubby does that sometimes

Maybe it's best that you see this reaction while he's still a boyfriend and not yet a husband.

[Crazy Hitch]

I think you need to have an open and honest chat with him about how much his lack of concern upsets you.

[healingme4me]

Some guys are fixers and could behave in an at a loss type of way. Is this his norm towards you on other issues?

[divine1966]

I am sorry and hope you feel better.

Is he in general unsupportive? Or just about health? Sometimes people minimize others symptoms thinking that it eases their worries. Usually not the case.

Is crisis with his daughter something serious that makes him preoccupied? My mom is battling cancer and my daughter just lost her husband in horrible circumstances and she is struggling. At this point I have no energy to worry about too many other things. Is that the case? Is he too worried about something else?

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am sorry and hope you feel better.

Is he in general unsupportive? Or just about health? Sometimes people minimize others symptoms thinking that it eases their worries. Usually not the case.

Is crisis with his daughter something serious that makes him preoccupied? My mom is battling cancer and my daughter just lost her husband in horrible circumstances and she is struggling. At this point I have no energy to worry about too many other things. Is that the case? Is he too worried about something else?

Thank you Divine. Yes he has been very supportive in the past. This issue with his daughter is quite serious - she is hospitalized with an unknown brain problem. They've done a biospy and now they are checking for cancer. So yes, he is pre-occupied. I have done my best despite what I am going through to be supportive - especially a good listener. I have not expected all his attention (that would be horrible of me) but I do expect that when I first talked about the seriousness of my own health and the likelihood of surgery that it would have gotten his attention.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you don't feel supported.. did you talk about this with him?

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Thank you Divine. Yes he has been very supportive in the past. This issue with his daughter is quite serious - she is hospitalized with an unknown brain problem. They've done a biospy and now they are checking for cancer. So yes, he is pre-occupied. I have done my best despite what I am going through to be supportive - especially a good listener. I have not expected all his attention (that would be horrible of me) but I do expect that when I first talked about the seriousness of my own health and the likelihood of surgery that it would have gotten his attention.

It explains it. I am not saying it's an excuse. Or that you aren't justified in feeling ignored. I understand how you feel. But what happens with his daughter explains his lack of support at the moment. I hope when there is more clarity with his daughter , he will be back to his normal supportive self. I hope your health improves. Hang in there