[TheBoredOne]

Long story short, yesterday cops came out because my dad was kicking my leg and screaming at me. The cops were kind of on myside, but they asked me if I had any problems like my dads outburst I said no but did say what I do have. This is where I'm getting angry and literally I have been feeling like punching my hand into something to get my mind off of what was said and just focus on the pain(my hand from me slamming it into something) instead of focusing on what they said. I feel a certain way and I am sure some other people feel the same way so please don't be too harsh. After I told them(cops) what I have when we got back into the house so they could talk to my dad, they completely disrepected my gender identity and using what I was born as what they said which made me very uncomfortable. Which also made me feel angry was they said "You're 17. You're a grown adult you're not a teen/ young adult anymore." I don't know if they meant mentally I am, put I don't think I'm physically grown yet(don't like my height, and I weigh less than average) First off, I thought you were a teen from 13 to 19, second off I thought you were a young adult from 16 to 27. Why am I old? Why am I not considered young anymore? Why would they disrespect my gender idenity? I am trying to listen to music to get my mind off of this but it is not helping. I have ocd and anxiety too so could that be why I keep dwelling on these thoughts when I don't want to, and when I want to forget about them RIGHT NOW? What would you do? How do I forget what was said to me?

[MickeyCheeky]

I understand your feelings. I'm really sorry for what happened.. where is your dad right now?

I am sorry that the cops said offensive things to you. Due to how the laws work in the United States, I considered my children adults when they turned 18. Legally, your parents are expected to take care of you (feed you, shelter you, be responsible for many of your actions like debts) until then. At 18, you are now 100 percent responsible for any deals you make and if you drive, you will be in trouble if you do not obtain insurance. And if you have sex with a 17 year old--in many states you could find yourself in a lot of trouble even if it is consential. You can vote and be drafted. Though I have never understood the idea of someone serving in the military at 18, but not having the right to drink alcohol. So maybe this is why the police where talking about being a grown adult? Because you will turn 18 soon? It is actually good that you were focussing on the pain in your hand (though I am sorry you hurt it) rather than lashing out at the cops. When you talk to the police, it is important to keep angry thoughts to yourself because a few of them might get angy too and they have the power to arrest or fine you. If your father is not treating you right and you can find a job, you can move out at 18. This is something that you should aim for. Hopefully, with time, you will stop thinking about the incident with the police.
As for the question: How do you stop letting other peoples opinions anger you? I don't think you can stop feeling angry so I recommend that you just acknowledge it and try not to act upon your anger. Wait until the worst of you anger passes and then consider if there are steps you can take to assert your rights (when they have been trampled upon). For instance, if a cop does something that was not right, you could call a lawyer and ask if you had a legitimate (strong enough, ie they broke the law) case against them (you have the right to sue people when you are 18). Sometimes, when our anger passes, we realize that having not acted upon our anger was a very good thing. When we act upon our anger, sometimes we regret it. I am sorry you feel like your gender identity was disrespected.

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm gathering the cops were there to diffuse the situation that had erupted between you and your father.

No they may not have been politically correct with some statements and may have stuck their foot in their mouth once or twice.

There's probably no harm in gently letting someone know how you'd preferred to be addressed with regards to your gender identity. I think that's fine to.

In terms of them pointing out your age, well, I don't know what you did, perhaps you could elaborate on why they felt the need to tell you to act more appropriately?

[TheBoredOne]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I understand your feelings. I'm really sorry for what happened.. where is your dad right now?

Thanks. He went over to one of his friends houses

[TheBoredOne]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

I am sorry that the cops said offensive things to you. Due to how the laws work in the United States, I considered my children adults when they turned 18. Legally, your parents are expected to take care of you (feed you, shelter you, be responsible for many of your actions like debts) until then. At 18, you are now 100 percent responsible for any deals you make and if you drive, you will be in trouble if you do not obtain insurance. And if you have sex with a 17 year old--in many states you could find yourself in a lot of trouble even if it is consential. You can vote and be drafted. Though I have never understood the idea of someone serving in the military at 18, but not having the right to drink alcohol. So maybe this is why the police where talking about being a grown adult? Because you will turn 18 soon? It is actually good that you were focussing on the pain in your hand (though I am sorry you hurt it) rather than lashing out at the cops. When you talk to the police, it is important to keep angry thoughts to yourself because a few of them might get angy too and they have the power to arrest or fine you. If your father is not treating you right and you can find a job, you can move out at 18. This is something that you should aim for. Hopefully, with time, you will stop thinking about the incident with the police.
As for the question: How do you stop letting other peoples opinions anger you? I don't think you can stop feeling angry so I recommend that you just acknowledge it and try not to act upon your anger. Wait until the worst of you anger passes and then consider if there are steps you can take to assert your rights (when they have been trampled upon). For instance, if a cop does something that was not right, you could call a lawyer and ask if you had a legitimate (strong enough, ie they broke the law) case against them (you have the right to sue people when you are 18). Sometimes, when our anger passes, we realize that having not acted upon our anger was a very good thing. When we act upon our anger, sometimes we regret it. I am sorry you feel like your gender identity was disrespected.

Thanks for all the advice. I don't even turn 18 until next Janurary(Janurary the first). I wasn't even talking to the cops about any of the legal stuff you mention. I just told them I did not think it was right my dad has the right to kick me and others during his outbursts and that's
when they mentioned age.

[TheBoredOne]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

I'm gathering the cops were there to diffuse the situation that had erupted between you and your father.

No they may not have been politically correct with some statements and may have stuck their foot in their mouth once or twice.

There's probably no harm in gently letting someone know how you'd preferred to be addressed with regards to your gender identity. I think that's fine to.

In terms of them pointing out your age, well, I don't know what you did, perhaps you could elaborate on why they felt the need to tell you to act more appropriately?

They kept bringing my age into it after I said I don't think it should be right my dad who is in his 50's has the right to scream and kick me or others during his outbursts.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by TheBoredOne

They kept bringing my age into it after I said I don't think it should be right my dad who is in his 50's has the right to scream and kick me or others during his outbursts.

Oh absolutely - no father has the right to kick their child. Ever. Period. Full stop.

[healingme4me]

I'm sorry that things became a physical confrontation with your father. I hope that you are in a safe place, now.

I'm envisioning that the cops Must address by what is on your legal paperwork regardless of the changes to it that you are going to embark on. Not judgy just a matter of being legal in dealing with legal matters.

I'm not sure why 17 is classified as adult. It's 18 where I am. Perhaps because you are on the cusp of adulthood? 17 is one of those ages where considering steps into adulthood occur. Planning college or vocation, it's an adult decision to plan for.

Hope your hand feels better soon. As well as your leg. What's your mom's input with your relationship with your father?

Originally Posted by TheBoredOne

Thanks for all the advice. I don't even turn 18 until next Janurary(Janurary the first). I wasn't even talking to the cops about any of the legal stuff you mention. I just told them I did not think it was right my dad has the right to kick me and others during his outbursts and that's
when they mentioned age.

I'm sorry he did that to you--that is terrible parenting and I hope he didn't hurt you physically or belittle you in any way.
Didn't think they were talking to you about all that stuff; guess I just went off on a tangent telling you some of the things I thought my children (especially my son) should know when they turned 18. If your relationship with your dad is not good, he will have the right (not that it is necessarily morally right) to kick you out when you are 18.