[rukspc]

By Western standards, this is completely unheard of to live with family. I feel like I am judged a lot when I tell people who I live with and even more when I mention that I am in the suburbs.

When I meet new people, I try to avoid talking about living with family because I won't seem as 'cool' and I don't live in the city. People ask why, they tell me I have a job I should be able to move out on my own, I don't have any commitments (not even a boyfriend). I am pursuing my Master's degree and work 2 part-time jobs to support myself. I am also very close to my two nieces, 4 and 7. I've gone through a lot of family issues and it is normal and common for Asian women to live with their families (I want to move out soon before I'm 30) How can I tell people my situation without feeling embarrassed?

I think living with your family is OK while you are going to school and when a person is making lower wages so they can save for their future. Your family probably enjoys your company very much. Maybe avoid telling new people, if possible, until you know and trust them. Going to school is expensive, I would think that most people would see this a perfectly legitimate reason to still be at home. Because of the economy, Western standards are slowly changing, I have a 22 year old son and a 23 year old daughter still living at home. I don't think it is wise for them to move out until they have a high enough annual income to support themselves. I have always thought that, whenever possible, a person should save a portion of their income and sometimes this is only possible when you live with relatives. Please don't feel embarrassed. The fact that you are pursuing a Master's degree and have two jobs is something you can be proud of!

[healingme4me]

I think it sounds fine that while pursuing your master's degree you are living with your sister and her family. Actually by western standards it's not embarrassing. One of my best friends after her engagement ended, moved in with her brother and his family. In many ways it not only helped her save money while grieving but she was there as support with the kids and helping with housework. They are off on a cruise right now, actually.
Parenting these days is hectic, many people that I know and notice if their siblings aren't actually living with them, they are certainly nearby and offer to help in many ways.

It hurts to be judged by others when we don't meet societal standards. I tend to not disclose my situation as people don't understand that I live with family for health reasons. Try not to let others judgments affect you. Hugs.

[s4ndm4n2006]

The only reason you might feel embarrassed is if you feel that their perspective has any weight. Be confident in that your own culture is different and it's an acceptable living arrangement. Just like you explained so well here, explain it to them that way and don't feel ashamed about it, because it's none of their business to tell you what is ok for you.

Lastly leave telling anyone your living arrangements for those that are trusted friends, they'll be typically more accepting and understanding than others anyway. Not everyone needs to know aobut how your private life is.

[Angel_Davis]

I lived at home until I was 30, so did my sister, so did two of my friends and so do many people in western society, especially nowadays. suburbs are better than cities imo ..but it depends on you.. live where u like, not where its "cool" I couldn't live in the city I love nature too much

[Talthybius]

I wouldn't be that worried, as you are doing a degree and jobs.

That said, if this is irking you, maybe for your personal growth, it is better to live on your own and develop your own life, away from family.

I would advise anyone to live in the college or university town while you do your degree. Find a town with active student life of the type you like, and go live there.
Then, moving back in with your family while you get a job in your home town, and pay off your debts, that's fine.

That said, people judge others by if they still live with their parents or not. Especially when it comes to dating.

[PandorasAquarium]

Are you doing what is best for you at this point in your life? And for your sister's family as well?

If so, you are absolutely doing the right thing. You are right where you need to be.

You don't have to justify, explain, or defend anything about your life to anyone so long as you're not breaking laws. I can see how your living arrangements make perfect sense. Beneficial financially and you're able to help your sister with the kids. What a boon! Move when you're ready and in the meantime, live it up. The kids will grow up too fast. I'd give a lot to live closer to my niece and nephew.

Seriously, are you happy where you live? Are you straining your sister's life, marriage, household? That's all you need to be at peace with.