Is My Relationship Healthy?

I am quite new to dating, and before I met my new boyfriend, I had become very comfortable with being single. I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 21. I liked the opportunities and excitement that would come along with being open and not tied down to someone else. At the beginning of my relationship, (I've been dating this guy for almost 3 months now) I was very excited. I felt really happy and I liked everything about him. He was a complete gentleman and still is, holds doors open for me, pays for meals (more often than not). But recently, I've noticed a few things that bother me quite a bit.
I don't know if it's possible but he says "I love you" too much. Granted he said it first about a month into us dating, and I still wasn't sure how I felt so it took me by surprise. The thing is, him saying this terrifies me. I have said it back but I am not as persistent as he is. He constantly tells me how beautiful I am and how he never wants to do anything to lose me. To me, it seems as if he wants to settle down. He asks me quite often if I want kids or saying things like "we would make some beautiful babies one day". I have told him before that no, i do not want kids. (I AM ONLY 20, I AM IN COLLEGE) He has even mentioned long term plans such as marriage. I am feeling very tied down and I don't like it, as I used to be a very free spirit. For example, I was talking to him the other night about my plans of maybe going to Hawaii for work over the summer and he told me to wait 3 years until he gets out of school. He later told me he supported me doing it. My friends have also mentioned to me that they believe he is being possessive over me. One of my guy friends mentioned that when he first met my boyfriend, he gave him a very dirty look and shook his hand very firmly. I used to really like him but now I feel a sort of resentment towards him. I don't want to end it because I above all think that he's a great, loving guy. I just can't get over the fact that he has been so clingy.

First of all, have you voiced any of your concerns to him?

As an overly clingy person myself, it disheartens me that I might have come across like that. In my case, it did calm down and even out over time (we've been together 2 ½ years). In my case, it came down to very low self-esteem, a disbelief that anyone would want anything to do with me, and a desperation not to lose the one person that actually listened to me and made me feel heard and loved. I have no idea if that's the case for your boyfriend.

I also was uncomfortable with the thought of him possibly going away to work in the summers. I was just afraid he would immediately meet someone more attractive and suddenly stop talking to me. See, low self-esteem and also trust issues in my case. He hasn't had the opportunity to be gone all summer for work (maybe a week or so at a time maybe?), but I really hope it wasn't because of my insecurities. My point is, do what you want/need to do and either he gets over it and works through his insecurities (or whatever the issue is) or you might not be right for each other. That's just my opinion though...

But you do need to talk to him. It may be a difficult conversation, but I believe stronger relationships are built on the occasional and necessary difficult conversation. That's at least been the case in my experience.

You are young. It is normal to want to be single at your age and take time to get to know yourself and experience all life may have to offer you. You need to clearly inform him that you are not on the same page as him. He has no right to ask you to push back your plans to wait for him. That is simply unreasonable. If you are not ready for the type of relationship he wants or maybe believes he is in with you. You must be honest and let him know this. Try to be gentle in your approach..he may be angry or upset or shocked even..but if he is a person who wishes to remain in your life..given a small amount of space and time he should understand and be OK with it... If he acts possesive, or inappropriately overly irate or makes threats towards your or himself...remove yourself quickly. If he persists and or you truly feel he is a danger to you or himself call the authorities and cut all lines of communication. But hopefully he is not a bad guy...just let himself get lost in the possible future and glowing aura of new romance.
Be Safe! Be Well! and Keep Writing!
-LITW

Question....

Do you not want kids....ever?

If you don't, then do him a favor and end things now.

The kid issue is a major life decision and its important to find a partner who is on the same page as you.

If its a matter of not wanting kids now, tell him that you do not want kids now but you might in the future.

It sounds like he is being a bit possessive IMHO.

You're quite young, and I have a feeling that if you settle down with him now, you may regret all of the things you could have done in life....but didn't.

Hugs.

Respect and treasure these feelings of yours.

He may be a great loving guy, but think about this: would you rather receive love while living in a prison, or would you rather be the free spirit that you used to be?

Have you talked to him about how you're feeling?