Losing lifelong friends over politics

Restraining the inner wolf.

OP, I hope all works out in the end and your friend will come back around to give you the love, support, and respect you deserve.

I'd say that's amazing!

Sorry if I crossed some lines here. I am here for support and I came here for support.

Love you, LL! I want to be supportive also.

(((seeker1950)))

I too am very reluctant to talk politics unless its the same as mine There is a woman friend whose polar opposite of my views but I avoid anything political with her. I am glad your male friend became much more mellow.

The people on my fb who are ranting about politics, are in jobs where their opinions don't matter, or are in jobs where their opinions match with those of their clients.

You don't see any of my fb friends, who are in successful careers that cater to the general public, ranting about politics at all.

Seeker, I'm glad you and this friend can remain friends. Seems very mature to me that the two of you can accept one another even if you have different opinions.

Are you implying that only "non-successful" people are ranting about politics? I find that offensive. Almost as offensive as anyone who would think that supporting a Neo Nazi would be a good idea.

[QUOTE=TishaBuv;5480547]The people on my fb who are ranting about politics, are in jobs where their opinions don't matter, or are in jobs where their opinions match with those of their clients.

You don't see any of my fb friends, who are in successful careers that cater to the general public, ranting about politics at all.[/QUOTE

Um me and my activists friends have jobs even successful ones... but that does not mean we do not care about our country or our Europe.

Again this is attitude to keep people quiet and keep the authorities rolling over them as they do not say anything.

I don't see too many "ranting," but I do see MANY with serious and well voiced concerns directly related to their lives and their professions. We feel our opinions DO matter as many of us are teachers, musicians, medical personnel, etc. whose work and whose clientele are directly affected by policy. We are all rather successful in our careers that directly cater to the general public and feel our voices absolutely do need to be heard. We do it nicely though. We are quite able to have intelligent conversations about policy decisions.

Thank you.

Maybe there is offense about Tisha's observation in her own personal life. I know of many that stay mum as frankly voiced concerns can carry and affect employment no matter what side of the fence one is on. Most of my teacher friends specifically are quiet on the topic.

Well, my mom works for a bank, and she's very vocal about social justice issues and politics in general. She still has her job.

I think tolerance, while difficult to master, should always be *literally* practiced...At least that's my opinion.
I don't mind a person with passion as long as they don't scream it in my ear and expect me to agree with them simply to make the noise stop.

I don't want my life to be a debate.

Best wishes seeker and I hope your life becomes more peaceful now

Here in the U.S., the one way people can have a voice is when they vote. Here in the U.S. the way someone wins an election was carefully thought out so that people who are living in different states that often have different ways that people thrive can be heard. This forces a candidate to actually "travel" and listen to people in different states that may be struggling instead of just focusing on one very populated state.

A state can be under a party rule that becomes a burden to a lot of individuals in that state. Often, what can happen is exactly what you have stated where a growing number of individuals become "fearful" of expressing their challenges. When these individuals get the chance to vote in "private", the results are what speak of the challenge that got so popular in numbers that a state can actually change in "color" which signifies a certain party rule and way of addressing the various needs of the population in that state. Here in the U.S. we call the "majority" of votes that an individual "wins" an election with "constituents". However, what is interesting about how each state reflects the margin or percentage of votes that result in someone being elected, is that individual will learn "who" may be increasing in numbers that are struggling that can vote him/her out too.

There is a reason "why" the popular vote doesn't result in "who" wins an election. If the win was only by popular vote the win would only consider the most populated areas of the country and not address every state in the "union". If a "win" was only determined by the popular vote, that could end up with a lot of Americans feeling like their "voice" is not being heard and "their voice" will be met with "intimidation" rather than a recognition of the specific challenges these Americans are struggling with.

The result is not necessarily about "hate" either, instead, it reflects a "need not being met, a frustration about struggling and barely getting by". Often, a result of an election can come as a shock too. This is what happened in our recent election.

The bottom line when it comes to what individuals pay attention to the most is "what is causing them to be very challenged to a point they are not thriving". Often it's not so much a Red or Blue either. Actually, if one really makes it a point to ask voters their thoughts where they feel "safe" to express their thoughts, a lot of voters have grown to dislike the level of toxicity the X vs. Y has gotten and how that has contributed to a very divided country overall.

I rarely engaged in political discussions. Then when I did I ended up being triggered badly and that confused me. I thought to myself, "why is this bothering me the way it is?". It took me a long time to finally figure it out too. What I finally realized is how I ALWAYS hated the X vs. Y. I was the youngest child of three and had to deal with witnessing how my sister and older brother literally hated each other. I was threatened that if I was nice to my older brother I would face being "shunned".

I experienced so much shunning in my history I had not realized the deep damage that caused in me. IMHO, it doesn't matter what someone's color is, what someone's religion is, what is toxic is the "shunning" itself. It isn't the X vs. Y so much as it is the "shunning" that takes place if someone doesn't "follow along with" that I ALWAYS hated.

I witnessed every day how my older brother was "shunned" so badly that it traumatized me and it traumatized him so much that he exhibited all the symptoms that reflect "neglect and abuse". Just this past year my therapist said to me, "OE, YOU were traumatized by witnessing this take place." All I know is that I definitely noticed how my older brother had "no one" helping him or willing to be his friend. I felt so sorry for him and I did not want him to have "no one" as a friend. My older brother was constantly called "stupid" and was constantly punished but he was NOT stupid, he just had a learning disability that was not understood at the time. The traumas I had experienced in my childhood shaped me into something I had not really recognized tbh.

I can be sensitive to the more Liberal mindset of wanting to recognize the potential of human beings no matter what their color or race. What I am not fond of and can be triggered by is the "shunning". The same is true for the more Conservative ultra right POV. If I am in a group and see someone being "shunned", I will reach out to that individual just like I had done with my older brother.

seeker, maybe your friend has some deep challenges too, and he cancelled his facebook account because he got triggered too much. I think that has been happening with a lot of people and not just your friend. I think the biggest areas individuals face shunning is in the political and the religious areas. I think "shunning" is what can lead to a lot of dysfunction when it comes to human beings. I think there is a deep desire to find our way towards not shunning but understanding instead. I think we will face changes in our leadership because of whatever is put in place that is not working for possibly a large portion of an overall society. What that can mean however is that "change" can be something a large portion of society that feel something is working for "them" may become angry and that can most definitely contribute to "shunning".

Thanks, PC friends. I'm asking that this thread be closed.

OE, shunning definitely defines what I'm seeing. Gross generalizations can carry profoundly and echo internally. Demands to partake 100% in another's position is down right demoralizing.

And about employment...there's blacklisting etc. Reduced promotion options etc. Ostracization isn't pleasant.

My teacher friends aren't silenced per se. Just smart enough to know to not give anyone an impression that they could be one thing or the other. They were vocal about one ballot question. Maybe it was a union decision? Who knows. But I have a hunch about some of my friends, especially a woman that I went to college with and knowing her immigration story, well.......

This thread has been closed at the OP's request.