[Akeru415]

Been married for 18 years and 9 months, the way we're going I don't think we'll make it to 19 years. Started out when we were teenagers, popped out 3 kids in 4 years and never kookier back. We did so many things wrong, treated eachother like enemies, but most detrimental to our relationship was cutting each other out. We became roommates.. I don't want a roommate, I want a best friend, I want a partner for life; the older I get the more I've learned to control my emotions and accept our relationship may have served its purpose of bringing 3 wonderful children into this world. Are we hanging on just because? If we consciously uncouple can I really just be her friend? Watching her move on in life being happier with another man? I hope I can be happy for her.. but I'm not holding my breath.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Akeru415: I don't have any suggestions for you. I simply wanted to offer my best wishes as you & your wife work your way through this most difficult decision-making process.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Akeru415

Been married for 18 years and 9 months, the way we're going I don't think we'll make it to 19 years. Started out when we were teenagers, popped out 3 kids in 4 years and never kookier back. We did so many things wrong, treated eachother like enemies, but most detrimental to our relationship was cutting each other out. We became roommates.. I don't want a roommate, I want a best friend, I want a partner for life; the older I get the more I've learned to control my emotions and accept our relationship may have served its purpose of bringing 3 wonderful children into this world. Are we hanging on just because? If we consciously uncouple can I really just be her friend? Watching her move on in life being happier with another man? I hope I can be happy for her.. but I'm not holding my breath.

If it's anything like what it was in my marriage of what, now.. 15 yrs.. Well, thing is, we were roommates for years too. In a nutshell, we were separated for 4 yrs as she left the state - even as hard as it was to figure things out how to be alone, the difficulty does pass. it gets better. Now although we're living under the same roof (only because she can't afford her own place yet) I can say that when she does go out and meet guys or what not I have no feelings about it, it's just literally I have no feelings about it.

so if you are asking if you can get to a place where it won't bother you if she is happy with someone else, yes, eventually you can. I can't predict if you will get there or not but it is possible, and the hard part of breaking up does pass.

I am neither saying you should or shouldn't break the relationship but only saying if you do, there is a future of better times and even happiness for you