[Joloto69]

Not wishing to be yuk but I've just spent the night being very sick - not sure if it was a dodgy curry for tea or the bug that's going round work but not pleasant. I don't like being sick and my husband came into the bathroom 'why cry it won't help'. I ignored went back to bed and he went to make a tea. He came back up and I started crying - my tummy hurts and I just wanted a hug. Again I got what's the point in crying. I replied if one of your patients (he's a student nurse) cried when they were being sick you wouldn't tell then that would you? He stormed off saying ye and he'd walk away if they were being sarcastic or nasty???? I dont see I was being either just trying to say sometimes people cry and why not? Don't get him.

[Bill3]

I'm really sorry that you are so unwell and that your husband was so unkind.

[Joloto69]

Thanks for your kind words Bill. He's just sat downstairs. We're having problems anyway and it seems this is part of his 'I'll do any thing to make things right'

[Yoda]

Sorry you are not feeling well.

I read back through some of your other posts and it sounds like your husband is quite a jerk.

A good relationship needs trust and respect. Your relationship has neither right now. Are you and he going to continue therapy?

[Joloto69]

Hi Yoda. We have another session tomorrow but my mind is made up. If this is him trying then it's really not halfway good enough. I deserve better. On the plus side I've stopped being ill and he's gone to work so I'm have a day to myself to rest!

[Erebos]

Good luck with your decision. I think it sounds like you have done all you

[Joloto69]

I really think it's time I put me first. My emotional and physical health have taken a tumble in the last 18 months and I need to stop being so concerned about him. He is an adult and will deal with whatever happens. I

[divine1966]

You deserve better than this. He sounds like a first class jerk and you can have better than that. You can do it

[MickeyCheeky]

Wow, he looks like a jerk Is this the first time he told you something similar? I'm sorry

He lacks empathy.

RUN from anyone who lacks empathy.

[Joloto69]

Thanks all. Glad to report I feel much better today physically. We've just had a row where I once again felt like what I recall saying was twisted and re written so I got angry and argued back reminding him of his infidelities and lack of communication. It then switched to him feeling sorry and sitting with a sad expression then talking about what happened at work. I just looked and thought this is the pattern yet now I see it as manipulation whereas before I'd fall soft. I may be waking up here!

[seesaw]

Yes, he is being insensitive. It's not just you.

At first I was going to say some people (I would say men but that would be sexist) just cannot deal with tears - my husband has been like this is the past (I got a scald and was told I was going to have permanent scar - he told me to pull myself together when I cried). But you refer to infidelities, so the whole picture does not sound good for you - stay strong and keep your eyes open.

[Joloto69]

Thanks Prefabsprout. I'm trying so hard to stay strong but for the last three weeks I've felt like I'm losing it. I don't know which way to turn or what to do for the best. Last week I felt like I was starting to see the wood for the trees, anxiety and tears were easing but of course thus tummy bug has knocked me for six. I think he's really struggling too and I do have empathy but it's combined with anger because he caused all this. I need to cultivate patience and self care which I struggle with. Underneath it all I know I'm there so to speak but my emotions and fears get the better of me at times