Attachment issues in romantic relationships...always scared they will leave..

Hello everyone. I was just reaching out to see if any of you have advice or have ever dealt with the following issues..

I grew up with a mother that was emotionally neglectful. She was definitely depressed and pretty much stayed in her bedroom for alot of my childhood. She was also unpredictable, sometimes she would be angry, overally talkative, or completely ignore me (ignoring me was how she was most of the time).

I am 30 years old and to this day still have such a hard time with romantic relationships. I always feel as though my significant other will leave me at any given time. I have felt like this in all.of my relationships. Now that I am older I think it is even worse because I want to find the right person and get married, kids, etc so I put even more worry on them leaving because all I want is something stable. I am also very clingy but always try to hide it from my partners the best I can but it does come out at times.

How can I get over my past and just let things be when it comes to relationships. I am so tired of overanalyzing everything and never feeling secure. This even slightly trickles into my friendships. I have had people disapear on me before so that even reinforces my fear. I am also very insecure with myself and I know this adds into how I feel/act. I really appreciate Your feedback as this is a constant struggle in my life and I don't want to self sabotage my current relationship. Thank you so much 💜

I think you should see à Therapist, but just the fact you are aware of it has already brought light to your problem. Now, you just have to work on it. My problem is that I don't meet people that I like. Or who are free without wife or kids and of course I don't want them.

I agree about seeing a therapist. Have you tried therapy in the past?

Your mom sounds a bit like my mom.

I think that therapy could help you.

I've sort of given up on myself though----My issue is in every relationship. I fully expect anyone at any moment to turn on me and get angry or leave. My doc says that its a part of my hypervigilance that's a part of my PTSD. My body/mind are on 24/7 high alert. I wish it could change, but after so many years of healing, its one of a few symptoms that doesn't ever get any better. You sound better than I do though, so I think there is hope for you. Hugs.

Thank you for your input guys. I do go to therapy just hoping that it starts helping me soon.

I feel the same as you regarding people getting angry and leaving. Then I feel like it's a self fulfilling prophecy sometimes bc I end up self sabotaging the relationship. Once they do leave then I'm like see I knew this would happen and then I get evern more worried about it happening. Is the PTSD from what you went through with your mother? I believe that my mind and body are always on high alert as well.