[Littleshoe]

We've been together 3 years.. were both 21.. have a kid on the way.. he's bipolar. Not on meds. And whenever he gets in a bad mood because things aren't working out for him to be productive I can never help him. I try to tell him that sometimes we can't always do something and it's not our fault. We don't have to let it ruin our day together. We can snuggle up and just relax but keeping the productive mind set and knowing we have to do these things when the time comes.. and he doesn't like that. He can't take pleasure from just relaxing with me. He shuts himself off and goes to be alone.. when he does finally come be with me hes got an attitude and keeps saying well what can we do. I want to be productive. I have to do something. And in all honestity.. there isn't much we can do.. I try so hard to be happy for him. And tell him we can keep our minds open and not forget the tasks at hand but to not let it ruin a potentially good day. And he doesn't like that. And he goes off being alone again. He says he's just gotten used to the fact that I can't help him when he's like this. And that he's been worrying about it because I'm not gonna be able to help the baby.. and I just don't know what to do anymore.. I keep feeling like I'm doing something right by reminding him it's about being able to keep the mindset of productivity even if we are spending a nice relaxing day together.. it hurts me that hes just gotten used to not being able to have my help..

[Molinit]

If you have a child on the way, you don't need to worry about "motivating" him. Are either one of you working?

Your time will soon be taken up with the baby, so I'd let him figure his own stuff out. I happened to read your profile, you are 21 and have been with him for 4 years. And he's bipolar not on medication? Not sounding too promising already.

Stop worrying about him, get your own stuff in order because you will have someone totally dependent on you soon.

[Littleshoe]

Originally Posted by Molinit

If you have a child on the way, you don't need to worry about "motivating" him. Are either one of you working?

Your time will soon be taken up with the baby, so I'd let him figure his own stuff out. I happened to read your profile, you are 21 and have been with him for 4 years. And he's bipolar not on medication? Not sounding too promising already.

Stop worrying about him, get your own stuff in order because you will have someone totally dependent on you soon.

He was on medicine but he's bad at keeping up with it, the doctor prescribed something for mood swings. Not necessarily bipolar. But even before we had the kid on the way he always told me he wished that I would be able to help him get out of his bad moods and tell him it'll be OK and to help come up with solutions. And I thought I was doing better by telling him I understand and all that but he still doesn't think it helps and it hurts because like I've tried everything and I want to be able to be that girlfriend that can lift him up when he's feeling bad

I don't get what you mean when you talk about "productivity". Can you elaborate?

As for negative feelings, they're not always something you can snap out of and move on. There's something going on inside him, something that feels deep that is putting a crimp on him.
It is recommended that a Bipolar person gets some form of treatment, at least a therapist to work out on what is going inside him - his mind, heart, soul...
Wanting to be alone and having an attitude is probably the depression side of the mental illness.
A more general point, but bad feelings need a room at times. They can't always be solved with words or reminders to be positive. Accept a bit of it yet expect gradual treatment.
And make sure to make room for lots of love for your upcoming additional loved one

[Molinit]

Originally Posted by Littleshoe

But even before we had the kid on the way he always told me he wished that I would be able to help him get out of his bad moods and tell him it'll be OK and to help come up with solutions.

This isn't your job, it's his job to deal with his own moods. And right now, he should be working so much, saving his money for all the expenses the baby will bring, that he's too tired to be in a "bad mood."

Is he working at all?

[winter4me]

You are not responsible for his moods, or how he deals with them. He needs to be working with a professional and to be taking his meds if they work, and he needs to be responsible for this. You can have a good day without him. And once you are a mother, do not let his mood stop you from having good, healthy times with your child. (If you don't work now, one option for a young mother is to work at a place like the YMCA where pay is not great but you gain access to lots of programs, free as a worker, for parents and children; working in a day care or pre-school program can also be a good fit.

Whatever happens, do what is best for your child and that may be not being with him on a daily basis.

[Erebos]

He shouldn't be asking you to fix him, you can't. He can by taking his meds and getting professional help.
If he broke his leg would he assume you were qualified to treat him? Of course not, he would go to the hospital.
What a bizarre thing to expect from you.
Your gonna grow up real fast once this baby is born, don't be surprised if he doesn't.
Few things will put a bigger gap between a couple than poor mental health and a baby.
How is he gonna respond when you don't have the time or energy to give him all these pep talks and attention.

There will be no more snuggling the day away either.
Focus on being a good mother. That includes taking care of yourself and your own mental health. Let him learn to figure out just what he wants.

Has he always been like this or has it gotten worse since the pregnancy?

[~Christina]

No one can fix another person, ever.

You have a child coming that deserves and needs stability and a loving home life.

He can go work on hisself and if he doesn't make sure you can provide for your child.