What is friendship supposed to be like?

I'm genuinely wondering.

My last therapist seemed to think that friendship has a dichotomy one must put up with. Perhaps thats true. Ive had unrealistic expectations probably. I understand that they ebb and flow and that some are closer than others. And if I am honest, I need to make better or more friends or something.

But I have a friend. It's the same friend who asked me about my sexuality in a rude way. She annoys me because sometimes she talks a lot about the same issues over and over. She is also delusional and paranoid. She talks to me like I'm her counselor too and I feel used. I haven't felt like hanging out w her lately. Is it normal to dislike certain ppl who are friends? I might just need a break from her. Perhaps that's ok. Perhaps open communication is best too. I could tell her lets talk about something else. I don't have to be her counselor. I can set boundaries. I want to mention she gets weirdly angry. She has done things to me out of spite before. So I feel it's hard to set great boundaries bc I don't want her to get angry at me.

I think I'm just looking for something rich and meaningful. I have found that in people before. But at this point in my life, idk, it's coming from other things if anything at all.

Your comments about friendship make me think of the song I learned when I was a Brownie:

"Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold..."

I think of it this way, never turn your back on a friend. Yes, take a break if she is annoying you--if you care, you will revisit her later. When someone is really a friend, even if you haven't heard from them for decades, they are still someone, that, deep down, you just really like and respect in some sort of way. You reached out to them in the first place because they really are awesome in some sort of way....

You are probably right.

You are the only one to know if its normal, however if the person is getting on your nerves you might want to take a break as you say.

If after a while you notice something is still annoying you meaby the person has changed and you might no longer be compatible.

Now it all depends if its a long term friend or someone you had your childhood with, its more complicated.

But in the end, friends are suppose to be there to embellish our lives and usually have good connection with us.

So listen to your heart on this one

Hope it helps

For how long have you and your friend have been knowing each other? I think taking a break is understandable

There are different levels of friendship. There are people who you are very close with and spend a lot of time with and tell everything, then there are friends who maybe you only do certain activities with, like book club every Wednesday.

If she's annoying you, then cut back on the time you spend with her. Maybe you two just need limited time with each other, so you enjoy her company when you have it, but don't get overwhelmed by it.

Seesaw

Thanks Canest and MickeyCheeky. We have been friends for...maybe 3 or 4 years. We met through a meet up group.

Thanks seesaw. I just saw your response here.

Its odd. I too felt like when I was younger it was relatively easy to find good friendships. I know for a fact it wasn't related to age. When I was younger(20s) I had a 49 year old BFF. I do feel like there is something wrong.

I often know I am being used. I am often dead last with friends. I don't remember feeling that way when I was younger.

At the moment I have scaled back on a lot of my "friends". I would prefer to be alone than be used and have only the raw side of the coin. My suggestion is cut back and see if you miss that person. If you don't... then you have your answer.

Friendship is simply supposed to be that you like that person and enjoy spending time with them.

I guess my approach with people is a little extreme, because I expect people to be very sensitive and considerate, and at any mistake, I drop them. I did it more than once before. I once actually unfriended someone whom I can call my only friend on Facebook because he did something I perceived as inconsiderate (I befriended him later, though). Obviously, this isn't working for me. I don't want to be around insensitive or inconsiderate or self-absorbed people (I'd rather be alone), but I guess allowing some room for occasional mistakes is more realistic.