[seawhale]

Due to my work nature and some other circumstances, I don't have any other way but the arranged marriage to find my soul mate.

I arranged it many times through my family, friends and relatives but it usually doesn't work, one of these times I met a very nice girl, I really liked her so much, I believe she felt that through my intensive eye contact that was full of admiration.

After the meeting I have been informed that she rejected me, now six months passed after that meeting and I can't forget her till now.

As I said, I met many girls, sometimes I reject and other times I got rejected, but this girl was different from the others.

In brief, I am thinking about approaching her again, may be she accepts another try, I know her Facebook profile and I also know someone who has mutual friends with her and both were tagged together in a photo.

I don't want to low my self or appear as a creepy guy that will just hurt me again by getting another rejection.

What do you think guys?

[avlady]

it may be ok as long as you give her her space and let her make the choice. you may get hurt but what the heck-you won't know until you try!!!

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by avlady

it may be ok as long as you give her her space and let her make the choice. you may get hurt but what the heck-you won't know until you try!!!

Many thanks for your reply avlady, what do you think the best way to approach her?, I am quit sure that she will not accept a Facebook friend request.

[MickeyCheeky]

I don't think you'll look creepy for trying to reach out again.. although every person is different. But it's worth a try

Unfortunately, I don't know what the best approach is.

[Trippin2.0]

Maybe it was your extensive eye contact that scared her off.

I can see myself being scared off if I was being stared at, especially in a creepy way, what you perceive as admiration may not have come off that way to her...

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I don't think you'll look creepy for trying to reach out again.. although every person is different. But it's worth a try

Unfortunately, I don't know what the best approach is.

Thanks a lot Mickey

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Maybe it was your extensive eye contact that scared her off.


I can see myself being scared off if I was being stared at, especially in a creepy way, what you perceive as admiration may not have come off that way to her...

That may be true Trippin, am not really sure.

Bad luck is chasing me.

[TishaBuv]

You can message her over facebook without making a friend request. You can say how you really liked her and thought she was very special, more than any other girl you ever met. You can back off the arranged marriage pressure and suggest you two simply get to know each other and see where it leads.

I agree, the intense eye contact is uncomfortable, weird, creepy.

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

You can message her over facebook without making a friend request. You can say how you really liked her and thought she was very special, more than any other girl you ever met. You can back off the arranged marriage pressure and suggest you two simply get to know each other and see where it leads.

I agree, the intense eye contact is uncomfortable, weird, creepy.

Thank you Tisha for the suggestion.

I know that I don't have many alternatives in reaching her out, sending a friend request will not work, sending her a message that will lay down in her other messages folder will not work either, I don't know whether she will read it or not, may be she doesn't check the other folder messages.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by seawhale

Thank you Tisha for the suggestion.

I know that I don't have many alternatives in reaching her out, sending a friend request will not work, sending her a message that will lay down in her other messages folder will not work either, I don't know whether she will read it or not, may be she doesn't check the other folder messages.

Why so pessimistic? A message from facebook comes to her messages on facebook/and probably her regular email inbox, too.

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Why so pessimistic? A message from facebook comes to her messages on facebook/and probably her regular email inbox, too.

I hope to get a positive feedback Tisha, let us wait and see the result

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by seawhale

I hope to get a positive feedback Tisha, let us wait and see the result

The best you can do is try. Good luck.

I wouldn't message her. She obviously said no. You liked her, but she didn't reciprocate. It doesn't say anything about you. She is just disinterested. My suggestion is to move on. More messages would probably make her feel uncomfortable. Yes staring is not something people like, especially females from males, but I think it's not enough to reject someone. This is my opinion. You can try if you want. In either case. Good luck

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger

I wouldn't message her. She obviously said no. You liked her, but she didn't reciprocate. It doesn't say anything about you. She is just disinterested. My suggestion is to move on. More messages would probably make her feel uncomfortable. Yes staring is not something people like, especially females from males, but I think it's not enough to reject someone. This is my opinion. You can try if you want. In either case. Good luck

Thanks stranger for your practical good reply.

I am fully aware of what you have mentioned, she said no, so subject is closed. Just posted the topic here to see point of views other than mine.

The problem is that I am in a closed society, don't know many people to find a soul mate easily, I am almost at the mid of 30s.

Never liked the arranged marriage meetings, never felt comfortable with it, two strangers meet to see if they suit each others in a couple of hours meeting, you feel like you are making a deal not a long term relationship, this girl I liked so much which was rarely happens for me in such meetings.

And because of my difficult situation, I hold on to any ray of a hope, I will not really like to live and die alone.

I am not pessimistic, but sometimes I am practical and I know well that the trial will not bring me more than another hurt.

Thanks a lot again for your opinion and feedback.

So, in your culture, if you met a girl, and you liked each others, you would get married immediately? I'm just curious.

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger

So, in your culture, if you met a girl, and you liked each others, you would get married immediately? I'm just curious.

Ofcourse not immediately, this is a marriage not a couple of days relationship.

If you met a girl and you liked each other, or at least there is a preliminary acceptance or interest, they both have to get to know each others for a while over the phone and through several more meetings to make sure that they match.

Afterwards they will got officially engaged for may be a year (more or less depends on many factors), then if they are happy together and families liked each other they will eventually get married.

Thanks for the response. This doesn't sound like an arranged marriage as I understand it. The process of marriage sounds reasonable and gives all sides the freedom to choose over a relatively long period of time. Anyway, good luck in finding your soul mate.

Hey… so do you know why she rejected you the first time? Because if she straight out doesnt like you… Know that you need to respect her and her decisions too, but it cant hurt to get a little closer. Maybe if your patient enough you can make it to the "friends zone." Keep itt causal and tell her youd love to treat her to lunch or a coffee... Seewhere it goes from there but try not to make it appear like your too serious. But know that shes actually had time to think about you.

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger

Thanks for the response. This doesn't sound like an arranged marriage as I understand it. The process of marriage sounds reasonable and gives all sides the freedom to choose over a relatively long period of time. Anyway, good luck in finding your soul mate.

It is not an obligatory marriage, every party has the freedom to form a decision whether in early or late stages, in our culture the arranged marriage means that when a man or a girl can't find a partner, they request their relatives, friends or family to look for a suitable one, then they meet through the mutual friend.

Thanks for your wishes