[MooseMoose]

I'm a bit concerned about my feelings towards my family.
Some things you should know beforehand:
-Abusive mom
-Alcoholic parents
-Dad who practically isn't there
-No childhood thanks to them (Not allowed to play with children below a certain class, not allowed to have "cheap" toys (No toys) and no playing
-Mom often locked me in a dark room, knowing I hated the dark

Anyways, so, I could rant on and on about my mom and my dad, but I'd like to know how I should feel towards them. I've called social services, but they dismissed my case because my parents weren't doing drugs, and the lady told me that I should feel fortunate to live as I currently am. I can't complain about this or tell my teachers, because last time I tried, the teacher basically told me that I had to suck it up, and that I was ungrateful for the extravagant life I'm living. They all think that money brings happiness, and therefore, I need to shut up. Because of this, my parents also tell me the same thing, however, I don't know how to tell them that I don't like being hit, locked up or yelled at. Not sure what to do about my parents, because I can't change them or replace them. My mom often tells me to kill myself or disown me, making me pack up my stuff and making me leave the home, but the hitting me after I do exactly what she says. What should I do?

[Skeezyks]

Hello MooseMoose: (When I was a teenager... many decades ago now... we used to say, of something we liked or appreciated, that it was "cooler than a moose!") I recall that, in your introductory post, you mentioned you're a teenager. But you didn't say how old you are specifically. It makes a difference if you're 14 or 15, for example, versus 18 or 19.

I think you're spot-on when you write that you can't change your parents... or replace them. As a result, at least from my perspective, the only real answer here is to get out on your own... as soon as it is reasonably, & safely, possible to do so.

Others may differ. But my personal opinion is you don't owe your parents anything. And you don't have to feel badly if you despise what they did to you. You're young & you still have the vast majority of your life ahead of you. Your "job", so to speak, is to live your own life & be as happy as possible. The bad part about carrying around a load of guilt regarding how you feel about how your parents treated you is that this kind of guilt & regret can be corrosive & can lead to depression, anxiety & unrelenting sadness as the years go by. You don't need that. And you don't deserve it either.

You've already learned that no one is going to help you with this. You've tried. So I think all you can do is strive to accept that your parents are who they are. But you are your own person & you can chart a different course. Start planning for it now.

[Purple Heart]

Hi Moosemoose

Are you under 18? If you are, its saddening that social services did nothing. What about the fact you're been emotionally abused? Doesn't that count just as much as sexual abuse or parents using drugs?? It's sad what your mother has done to you, no child or even adult deserves that. Like the other person says, get out as soon as possible if this is happening. Is there a child help line you can ring if under 18?

PH