[Shadix]

This is something I have come across several times now, which I did not realize was a thing before. Basically lots of women are making this claim that men over 30 who have never been married are somehow defective and not marriage material. And what is particularly mindboggling is that it is ONLY MEN, and the same doesn't apply to women. In fact, at least one of the people I have seen making this assertion was in fact a single woman on her 30s. I have even seen some of these people assert that women over 30 who remain single actually actually tend to be higher quality than ones who are married. And I have actually seen this kind of rhetoric being promoted on feminist forums with little to no objections. Which is odd considering if the genders were reversed this type of statement would be decried as overtly sexist and misogynistic.

So essentially if a woman is 30 and decides she wants to stay single and travel or date around, that is fine, but if a man is 30 and feels the same way, he is a man-child with commitment issues? Is this actually something that is widely believed by women today? How is it not considered sexist and hypocritical?

[Erebos]

Yet again Shad, you have managed to find an obscure statistic that the majority are going to be unaware of.

Never heard it or come across it before in any of my own social circles.
All the best navigating the minefield.

I saw one member express this view. One person does not define the entirety of society. I certainly don't feel that way towards single men of any age.

I think you are taking the opinion of perhaps a few and magnifying it to include everyone, and that just isn't the case.

[Shadix]

I know it's not everyone who thinks this, but I have seen this expressed several times and each time it was met with at least some support from others in the communities(talking about online forums). I imagine most people who feel this way deep down would not say it openly since it is a pretty sexist position that is hard to justify.

[divine1966]

I know plenty of single people of both genders. No one cares. I've never seen anyone shaming anyone about singlehood. Why do you worry about nonsense?

Seeing a therapist might help. Or actually seek proper diagnosis.

Is it possible you have OCD? I am not trying to diagnose you but making a suggestion.

You are allowing this obsession over who says what on the internet consume your life. These are anonymous forums. They aren't your friends or family. It's just internet. Get out there. Get to know people. Enjoy life.

Traditionally women are hurt less in the "gender arena", so this is why it may seem that way. This is only a matter of subjective saying which should not become a manifestation within.

Originally Posted by Shadix

This is something I have come across several times now, which I did not realize was a thing before. Basically lots of women are making this claim that men over 30 who have never been married are somehow defective and not marriage material.

Well maybe it is true? My experience it kind of is. Obviously not all but a lot. There is a basic problem between men and women... men can have children pretty much forever. So lately it seems like men get serious about having children when the are in their 20s (who have a strong commitment to marriage and children and are sure they want that) OR in their late 40s or 50s when it becomes apparent that they kind of have to or else be raising kids at 60.

There isn't shaming for women in their 30s because of social norms (though I know they are shamed behind the scenes) because they are single through no fault of their own. There just aren't enough seriously looking me in their 30s.

There are over 7 billion people in the world, 195 countries and over 110,000 Internet forums for various subject categories.

Not everyone on this board is from the USA.

Why are you focused on the negative?

[Quarter life]

Funny...But I have never viewed the fact that I never married as a 'fault'

[~Christina]

If other Internet forums believe all this nonsense why not stay there instead of coming here trying to force your skewed thoughts on most of PC members ?

[Shadix]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

If other Internet forums believe all this nonsense why not stay there instead of coming here trying to force your skewed thoughts on most of PC members ?

Actually it is people on here too. Several of them.

[Artchic528]

Here we go again....

[Shadix]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

Well maybe it is true? My experience it kind of is. Obviously not all but a lot. There is a basic problem between men and women... men can have children pretty much forever. So lately it seems like men get serious about having children when the are in their 20s (who have a strong commitment to marriage and children and are sure they want that) OR in their late 40s or 50s when it becomes apparent that they kind of have to or else be raising kids at 60.

There isn't shaming for women in their 30s because of social norms (though I know they are shamed behind the scenes) because they are single through no fault of their own. There just aren't enough seriously looking me in their 30s.

For those of you who think I am just pulling this out of my butt.

[Shadix]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

because they are single through no fault of their own. There just aren't enough seriously looking me in their 30s.

So are you suggesting that most men in their 30s can easily find a partner and that they are only single because they want to be? I think everyone knows that's not the case.

I think the issue is more so that when a men can't find a partner, society sees it as his fault for not being better looking or more likable or having a better job or having lower standards. However when a woman can't find a partner, society does not hold her accountable for any of those things. Basically there is an underlying belief that women are beautiful just the way they are and should never have to change for men, whereas a man's value is determined by how he measures up in the eyes of women. This is what I think the core problem and the source of most double standards is.

[~Christina]

Thank you for again spouting out nonsensical reasoning.

Have you not gained a single bit of insight and actually applied it to your life from the vast majority of hundreds and hundreds of pages of advice from members here on PC ? I think not.

It's a real shame you are so wrapped up in warped perceptions of the worlds.

I don't think even wishing you luck would be helpful, you dismiss any advice you don't agree with.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Thank you for again spouting out nonsensical reasoning.

Have you not gained a single bit of insight and actually applied it to your life from the vast majority of hundreds and hundreds of pages of advice from members here on PC ? I think not.

It's a real shame you are so wrapped up in warped perceptions of the worlds.

I don't think even wishing you luck would be helpful, you dismiss any advice you don't agree with.

Thanks Christina. I agree.

[sabby]

At this point we are going to close this thread for discussion by the Community Support Team.

In the mean time, if one doesn't want to support another member, it's best to stay away from their posts/threads. Use the ignore function but please stop posting unsupportively by calling the member out for the issues they are wanting to discuss. Please report the posts if you want us to know about them but refrain from posting on the thread so that you don't become part of the problem.