[yourveryownocturne]

I am a cat person and I love my cat dearly. I have raised him from the age of three months, and he's almost two years old now. I grew up in a house full of cats - we never had fewer than four. I love them and I know how special a bond is between a cat and his/her owner(s). To me, similar to many other pet owners, cats are like family.

My girlfriend does not like cats. She seems especially opposed to mine, because he sometimes scratches me, but that's when I play too rough and overstep his boundaries. He has never intentionally hurt anyone. He is mostly just chill and never tries to go out of his way to be aggressive. But she still dislikes him and sometimes says mean things about him, and when I try to explain that he has never done anything but be a cat, she says I shouldn't try to change her opinion of cats. Should I continue to defend my cat? I feel like a crazy cat lady, but I have a feeling I'm right about this. If I have a creature in my life that is important to me, I feel like she should make more of an effort not to say mean things.

[Nammu]

I'd dump her and keep the cat.

Keep the cat and get a new GF. Or another cat.

[LiteraryLark]

Have you addressed to her that what she says is hurtful? Does she have her own animals? If so, tell her, "You wouldn't like it if I made fun of your pet."

[Crazy Hitch]

Well I think the point is that you adore your cat. If she's not a cat person; so be it. It doesn't give her a place to throw insults at yours as that is disrespectful to what you believe in. She really should stop.

[Trippin2.0]

My bf is not a fan of cats, but he's never said anything mean about my pitch black fury baby... Although his unease around him is quite amusing. Lol

I would dump the gf and get another cat or new gf, as suggested above.

There's absolutely no reason to repeatedly express her distaste or dislike of your fury friend.

She's just being plain rude.

Is this a constant issue or just sometimes as you say in your post? If it's just sometimes, don't worry about it. It's just words. I mean, are they just occasional negative comments, fairly benign, just kind of made in passing? Or are they persistent, really mean, hateful? Makes a difference in my book. It isn't uncommon for a pet to be close to the owner and no one else is all that attached to the pet. They might even say occasional negative things about the pet, particularly if they aren't pet people. As long as it isn't abusive or constant in some way, you can kind of just let her gripe occasionally and just blow it off. Your cat doesn't care if you defend it verbally to your girlfriend (I'm pretty certain about that). My guess is if you just sort of blow off the comments, the comments might subside and girlfriend and cat will learn to coexist, perhaps not affectionately but not with hostility either.

[Erebos]

Some people are genuinely afraid of cats, just as some people are with dogs.
So is she reacting out of fear, or does she only make these remarks when your paying attention to the cat and not her?
Just wondering if she could be jealous. Which would be a bit of a red flag, but nothing you couldn't talk through if she is willing. She might be embarrassed that she is jealous, so makes nasty remarks to mask it.
Same if she is genuinely fearful.

However if she just isn't an animal person, and refuses to see that her comments are hurtful to you I would be inclined to give the relationship a good hard look.
Because ultimately this speaks of something deeper than just not liking your cat.

Good luck, really hope you can work things out.

[passionfruit3]

I have a cat and I also watch a show called cats from hell.in and cats tend to know when there not liked maybe you weren't watching and the cat did things she didn't like because it knows she it doesn't like her. Does she ever watch the cat at home alone? It could be the simplest thing to that needs to be fixed.if its a behaviour problem with the cat you need an expert or train her yourself.if it's with her you need to decide your cat or her.i don't know if you can compromise beyond that.cats like to be up high near you they like to play so you just can't lock it in a room all day.you have to do what is best.

I am definitely not a cat person - though I've had them. I've lived in a rental where cats were permitted and no dogs. I'd always had a pet until that point and couldn't imagine not having a four-footed companion. But there is a huge difference to me. I once read what to me seemed a very apt statement: dogs are here to serve you, cats are here to be served. Maybe it was just my cat that confirmed that for me.

Lol yes - dogs have owners, cats have staff. That's what I like about them.

I too wonder if she is a little scared - those claws are pretty sharp after all, maybe she needs reassurance. Hope you can work it out.

[lizardlady]

I'm a critter person. I have five cats, a dog, a horse and three chickens. It would be a deal breaker for me if someone could not accept my animals. That's just me though. My critters are my family. Would you accept a significant other making nasty comments about human family members?

When my father was young he had a pet bird. One day a window was left open, a cat snuck in and ate my dads pet. He was devastated and has hated cats since. The cat was only being a cat, but it's understandable why my dad would never allow me to have a pet cat. He could not be near a cat without hating it and I guess holding it personally responsible. My point is, perhaps your girlfriend has her reasons and would be willing to work on it if you talked openly and honestly. She needs to respect your opinions and you need to respect hers if things are going to work. Good luck.

[seesaw]

Dump her.

I dislike cats. I probably wouldn't get together with a guy who had more than one, but I could live with a bf who had one cat. I don't imagine I'd be that close the cat, but I wouldn't mind feeding it or filling its water bowl. I love my dogs, and I know not everyone is a dog person, but if you badmouth my dog, you're outta here.

Your cat knows you better than her. Get rid of the gf. Snuggle with your cat.

Seesaw

[yourveryownocturne]

Hi all, thanks for the replies. I tried to brush this off but I'm still upset about it. I'll have to do some more thinking about our relationship. My cat really is part of my family. I love him so much and I won't compromise that for someone else.

[*Laurie*]

Our pets are precious. You are wonderful for loving your cat so much. I would not feel good about that friend, if I were in your shoes.

[Apokolips]

If it came down to the girl or the cat I'd take my cat any day.

[A Red Panda]

It's ok for her to not like cats. But yeah, it's not so cool to be continually insulting yours.

Have you been together quite a while? Like is it a fairly serious relationship? It might be worth considering the future right now - if the two of you ever got serious enough to consider living together, will she be ok with the cat there or will she try to make you get rid of it? You might want to make it clear that your cat is there to stay. i would never get rid of my pets - the only way I'd rehome them would be if I had a baby who was allergic - and even then it'd have to be a serious allergy.

[TishaBuv]

To dislike and bad mouth your partner's pets is like doing the same to their kids. It's not a good sign. Someone who loves you, also loves who you love.

[s4ndm4n2006]

did you start the relationship with her knowledge of you having cats? did you already have the cat? That's a really serious question because if she chose to have a relationship with you and has this aversion to cats already, then she has no right to complain now, period.

In that case I'd probably reconsider whether you need to find a mate that is more fond of animals or cats specifically even if they aren't a cat owner.

To get into any relationship with the knowledge of things that you don't like, then later start complaining of these things, is just plain selfish and rude.

[Travelinglady]

Welcome to Psych Central! I am a major cat fan. We have one kitty. My husband wasn't a cat person, but he was willing for us to get one. I think a lot of it is what critters people grow up with.

I know some people are uncomfortable with or even hate cats. I don't understand that. I don't think I would tolerate someone who is mean to my cat. To me, that says something about their character, since I do see cats as important to the owner. My cat helps me with my emotional issues.

[ComicWisdom]

My wife and I have a theory that anyone who doesn’t like animals has a character flaw. True or not, I’ve never made friends with someone who hates animals. We have 10 cats and every one of them is a family member. When they are sick, we worry. When they die, we grieve.

If your pet is important to you, your significant other needs to respect that. If they can’t - maybe it’s time to reevaluate the relationship. There are plenty of cat-fish in the sea.

Just my opinion. I could be wrong.